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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i am not a single mom anymore, although i think this is the best place for my situation.<br><br>
i will start with a bit of background info. i've been divorced/separated for 13 years and my 2 oldest, my 17 and 13 year old are from that marriage. their dad, although he lives in the same community as me, has consistently seen the kids anywhere from 8-10 times a year (by his own choice~ his sob story in our last mediation was that in order to be in the top 5% income earners in canada, he has to make "sacrifices" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">)<br><br>
my oldest is at the point where she wants nothing to do with him. my son is not at that point, but he really does not care if he never saw his dad again.<br><br>
my current situation is that i am moving in the fall to attend university in a different province (my program is only offered in 2 provinces, and i chose the school where i have family). i will be gone with the kids during the school year, but home with the kids for june, july and august. i have not officially spoke to my ex about it since december (when i mentioned i had applied). i found out about a month ago i was accepted, and my oldest daughter asked if she could tell her dad about it instead of me because she was so excited.<br><br>
well, he is pretty livid about it and was ranting to my oldest that i cannot arbitrarily decide what i am going to do with the kids and he has a "surprise" in store for me. our divorce agreement has no limitations on it about mobility, and i did find this on the my family provincial court website:<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">As long as there is no court order or agreement in place saying that you must stay in the province with the children or give the other party notice if you are going to move, then there is nothing really preventing you from moving to a new province with your children. At any time, either parent can bring an application for custody, access, parenting or contact of the children.</td>
</tr></table></div>
i am not really sure how to approach him. our communication history is not the greatest and he finds every avenue to point out everything i am doing "wrong" and he's the hero <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">, to which i generally end up hanging up the phone because we just can't see eye to eye.<br><br>
so i am thinking of emailing him with my plans and indicating the kids desires, that way if he tries to take me to court, i have documentation that i contacted him. do you guys think this is the best way to "officially" contact him? what should i say exactly?<br><br>
i am also feeling a bit anxious about the "surprise". i mean i can't see a judge ordering the kids to stay behind and our past mediation about child support could not have gone better, but this still has me nervous. i'm not sure if he's bluffing or serious about doing "something".
 

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Email him - its the best way to really control what you say, leave emotion out and you have a great copy of what was exactly exchanged. I do not think a court would limit your education because your ex doesnt like the move... you may have to pay travel expenses for a visit or something -- but with the history that you provide on his past involvment.. my guess is he'll just let it go and he's pissed off that you're doing something that means alot to you - so he's trying to get you going...
 

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honestly, based on what the site says, i would probably wait until the day you leave (assuming its a Saturday), so that he can't file and cause problems. How far away are you moving? I know you said another province, but how far (timewise)?
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
thanks <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
well i have decided to email him. i'll have to think on the contents and timing of the email.<br><br>
i am moving 3 provinces away, so about a 2 1/2 day drive. he already knows i'm leaving so whatever he has up his sleeve will already be put into motion, or soon, (if anything) so i'm not sure that waiting to tell him the day i leave will make much of a difference (unfortunately).<br><br>
regardless, he can put in an application for change in custody and access and even child support, i just can't see at this stage in the game why a court would change things, particularly when the kids would be completely opposed to it. he would have to demonstrate that it's in the best interests of the children to stay and there are just so many factors against him ... at least that's what i tell myself (i know anything can happen in court!)<br><br>
i feel anxious because i hate dealing with him.
 
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