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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
DH really wants to (he's the kind of person who can't NOT read spoilers if they're available online), and since I don't really have a strong feeling either way, I'll let him have his way on this one. He has control over SO LITTLE of the pregnancy process (after his initial contribution, of course <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">)...
 

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We both wanted to find out with #1<br><br>
I didn't really want to find out with #2, but let DH decide. We found out at an u/s.<br><br>
This time we are not sure if we will be having a 20 week u/s. If we do we will NOT be finding out the sex and make sure to make that very clear to the tech. I really am looking forward to being surprised at the birth <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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We found out with our first and were surprised with our second...and I would never again find out. I cannot even explain how amazing it was to have DH catch the baby and tell everyone it was a boy!<br><br>
I thought it was all hype- how great it is finding out at birth- but boy was I wrong! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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If we can we will, but if this one is uncooperative then we won't work too hard at it. We always have 20ish week u/s to check for heart problems. There are heart problems in my family and if goddess forbid there was an issue it would mean a huge change in plans for birth and immediately after.
 

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Nope, not having a US unless a real need arises. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Dh really wanted to find out with #1, so we did. I got my way the the next two and we waited until the birth with both of my daughters. I really enjoyed waiting, but dh didn't. We will most likely try to find out with this one since it will be our last and I want to give all my boy clothes to my sister (due in Jan with a boy) if we won't need them. Although I suppose she would be finished with them by the time I would need them, so.... hmm, maybe we will wait! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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Didn't find out before, not finding out this time. (I think there's a thread back a few pages with a poll on this, too.)
 

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I'm kind of tempted this time but I probably won't! We didn't find out with the first two and I had no idea either way what they would be. Well we thought my dd was a boy for sure for some reason but I wanted a little girl first so bad so I was pretty excited when she was born. It was kind of funny too because my midwives don't yell out its a... they wait for you to check. So I was all excited holding the baby and I was like "What is is? What is it? Its a girl!!" Its so exciting telling everyone too because no one has any idea. When people already know the sex and the name and all that the response isn't quite the same.<br><br>
I have heard some funny stories from people who "found out" but it was wrong. My sis in laws friends were expecting a girl and bought everything and were super excited. When the baby was born the dad started hyperventilating "My daughter has a penis, omg she has a penis!" before letting it sink in that it was actually a boy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Mamato2</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9008409"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">When the baby was born the dad started hyperventilating "My daughter has a penis, omg she has a penis!" before letting it sink in that it was actually a boy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"></div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/ROTFLMAO.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rotflmao"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/biglaugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="laugh">: laughup <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/ROTFLMAO.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rotflmao"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/biglaugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="laugh">: laughup <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/ROTFLMAO.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rotflmao"> That poor father!<br><br>
I was actually a "boy" for the first minute or so of my life. I was butt-first breech, natural delivery, and the doctor apparently saw my labia, which were apparently swollen from the birth, from behind, and thought them to be... well... testicles.<br><br>
As my mom tells it:<br><br>
"IT'S A BOY!"<br><br>
*everyone continues doing regular newborn stuff*<br><br>
"Wait, no. It's a girl."<br><br>
My maternal grandmother, may she rest in peace, found this quite amusing and offered the doctor a lesson in girl-boy identification.
 

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Nope. We're hoping for a surprise-even though it will take some work to get one. My ob's office will be good about not telling-they ask about it at your first appointment and mark it in your chart whether or not you want to know, but the perinatologist's office may not be as good about telling.<br><br>
My sister wants to know, and we'll have the OB nurse who does our u/s write it down, staple it, and we'll drop it in an envelope for her. We'll make the same offer to the grandparents and other siblings, but we've also made a "no blue or pink before the baby arrives" rule.<br><br>
Why allow gender stereotypes to be applied this early on? We'll spend the rest of our lives fighting them, so what's the point of starting to apply them now?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>carriebft</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9005580"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We found out with our first and were surprised with our second...and I would never again find out. I cannot even explain how amazing it was to have DH catch the baby and tell everyone it was a boy!<br><br>
I thought it was all hype- how great it is finding out at birth- but boy was I wrong! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></div>
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I LOVED this!!! How sweet, but when I mentioned it to DH he said no. He wants to know.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>thomlynn</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9009618"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I LOVED this!!! How sweet, but when I mentioned it to DH he said no. He wants to know.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> It will be sweet either way! With our first when we found out, the U/S tech told Dh because he wanted to *surprise me* with the gender in his own way. The next day, he had bought our future daughter a little pink soccer jersey from his favorite team. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> and he got a little soccer ball that said "it's a girl!"
 

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I'll have dh muscle test me for the gender of the baby whenever I start on the diapers and knitting. He was right the other two times but I didn't want to know until they were born. This time I want to know but we don't do ultrasound so I'll rely on that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">.
 

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Sex. Not gender.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>talk de jour</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9010264"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Sex. Not gender.</div>
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sorry but I am not sure what you meant...could you explaine?
 

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She means that "sex" refers to the physical nature of the baby (male or female). In some (academic) circles, "gender" refers (only) to the cultural acclimatization of the person in question, or to that person's sense of him- or herself (so a person with XY chromosomes who felt like a woman would be of the male sex, but female gender). Merriam-Webster, however, considers the two words synonyms. Her distinction is thus incorrect (at least in the world at large).<br><br>
Talk de jour, are you a member of this DDC?<br><br>
Here's the main entry for gender:<br><br>
Main Entry: 1gen·der Pronunciation Guide<br>
Pronunciation: primarystressjendschwa(r)<br>
Function: noun<br>
Inflected Form(s): -s<br>
Etymology: Middle English gendre, from Middle French gendre, genre, from Latin gener-, genus birth, race, kind, class -- more at KIN<br>
1 a archaic : KIND, SORT b : SEX <black divinities of the feminine gender -- Charles Dickens><br>
2 linguistics a : any of two or more subclasses within a grammatical class of a language (such as noun, pronoun, adjective, verb) that are partly arbitrary but also partly based on distinguishable characteristics such as shape, social rank, manner of existence (as animate or inanimate), or sex (as masculine, feminine, or neuter) and that determine agreement with and selection of other words or grammatical forms <Latin has three genders, masculine, feminine, and neuter> <French has two genders, masculine and feminine> b : membership of a word or a grammatical form in such a subclass <a Latin noun has gender, number, and case> <an English noun has, strictly speaking, no gender> c : an inflectional form showing membership in such a subclass <a Latin adjective agrees in gender with the noun it modifies><br><br>
Citation format for this entry:<br><br>
"gender." Webster's Third New International Dictionary, Unabridged. Merriam-Webster, 2002. <a href="http://unabridged.merriam-webster.com" target="_blank">http://unabridged.merriam-webster.com</a> (27 Aug. 2007).<br><br>
And here's a secondary entry, not included in the main definition:<br><br>
Main Entry: gender Pronunciation Guide<br>
Function: noun<br>
: the behavioral, cultural, or psychological traits typically associated with one sex
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>talk de jour</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9010264"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Sex. Not gender.</div>
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wow, I doubt she was tryingto start something over it. why are you?<br><br><br>
either way, we want to find out, I feel closer to the baby when I can visulize it by the name we have picked out for either boy/girl<br>
and we have 1 boy, so we are totally hoping for a girl!
 
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