Mothering Forum banner
1 - 20 of 48 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,339 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Comment on the spinoff - age of consent got me wondering how many people think abstinence can be taught as well as how to protect yourself if you opt out of abstinence.

It seems some people think it is either one or the other.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,789 Posts
I tend to think that they can be tought together. You can tell people that abstinence has a lot of benefits but that if you not to abstain you should be careful. It's a very, very simple message actually.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,339 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by SirPentor View Post
I tend to think that they can be tought together. You can tell people that abstinence has a lot of benefits but that if you not to abstain you should be careful. It's a very, very simple message actually.

I agree with you. I think it is quite simple to teach as well. I just got the impression on other threads about the topic that it couldn't be taught together.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,594 Posts
I absolutely think they can be taught together...as long as there are no "moral judgements" given to either one.

But I believe that you can teach about both abstinence and birth control/STDs in a "morality neutral" way.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,939 Posts
I think it's possible. I'm placing more emphasis on teaching abstinence to my kids, because I'm counteracting all of the pro-sexual-openness messages in society, but I think you can teach what birth control is without compromising the abstinence message. My 6 yr old knows that there are pills that some women take and devices that are used so people can have sex without getting pregnant. But I also explained to her why we don't do that in our family. And she also knows that they don't work 100% of the time.

So, yes I think you can teach both. Although I don't think taxpayer-funded public schools should be teaching either.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
453 Posts
I think they can be taught together.

My dh and I have talked with our dds (they're 15 and 11) about waiting to have sex until they're married. I did tell my 15 yo the other day that if she were to find herself in a situation where she wants to have sex that she could come to me and I would help her with birth control.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,766 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
So, yes I think you can teach both. Although I don't think taxpayer-funded public schools should be teaching either.
I think it should be taught as a normal requirement in a biology/health class. My parents sure as hell didn't say ONE WORD about sex in any way shape or form. Parents do have the option of withdrawing their kids from sex ed, that's why it's taught as a special unit.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,010 Posts
I think its possible to teach abstinence and safe sex and all that... However my biggest problem with this is the public schools' half-arsed attempts at teaching it. Ideally I think these kinds of matters are much better discussed at home with the family, but since that doesn't always happen the schools have to step in. I am disgusted by the schools' and our society in general for saying they care about teaching sex ed to kids but as soon as a young teenage girl gets pregnant the ball is dropped and she's on her own. No classes about childbirth, no classes about breastfeeding, no classes on how to be a good parent. I feel like the attitude is "Oh well you didn't abstain/didn't use a condom, too bad kid you're on your own and no one cares. " For YEARS I have had an idea to integrate a childbirth/breastfeeding segment into sexual education classes, but it will probably never fly because having a family and having children at a young age in this society is considered shameful, a burden, "oh you're wasting your life"...so what's the point in teaching them how to deal with the consequences of unprotected sex?




My 2 cents...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
99 Posts
Quote:
I'm placing more emphasis on teaching abstinence to my kids, because I'm counteracting all of the pro-sexual-openness messages in society, but I think you can teach what birth control is without compromising the abstinence message.
I agree!!!!

I think due to our societies long-term belief in the past that masturbation is a sin and is wrong we haven't been teaching our children about self-satisfaction...

I never hear of teaching that...ever...and it is my plan with my children along with abstinence (and protection as well).

Abstinence from sex doesn't mean abstinence from self-pleasure...

I also plan on the focus mainly being about RELATIONSHIPS and RESPECT.

We teach sex education as though sex is the critical aspect of it all....it isn't! Why does society concentrate more on the physical/mechanical act of sex and protection and disease and pregnancy and not much in the emotional and spiritual aspect of it?

I don't want my daughter or son's thinking oral or anal sex doesn't count as sex and is a great way to avoid pregnancy (as though that is the main point to be considering). I want them to respect themselves (and others!) as sexual beings deserving of respect....in ALL areas....not just virginity! (oral sex and young girls is a big issue where I am....young girls in early grade school!)

My focus is on teaching about love, respect and relationships (rather then sex alone) and that the first most important relationship in every way (not just sexual) is with themselves....

I also don't plan on setting my children up for difficulties....parents don't want their children having sex yet they allow dating at the age of eleven and boy/girl sleepovers at young ages and start asking little girls/boys in Grade One silly questions like, "Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend", "Oh, how cute...is he/she your boyfriend/girlfriend"!

I have also been putting my foot down in regards to comments made towards my boys that seem harmless...but, I wonder if they are? Comments such as how many women my boys will be able to get because of how cute they are ("The girls better watch out when he gets older!") Stuff like that....

~Charlene~
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,789 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Lolosoli~ View Post
I think due to our societies long-term belief in the past that masturbation is a sin and is wrong we haven't been teaching our children about self-satisfaction...
I say it's still there. It's a totally taboo subject.

I remember when I watched the sex-ed vids in grade school they talked about how some men and boys masturbate which prevents wet dreams (this isn't a sure-fire thing, btw). No mention of girls doing it. Funny.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,270 Posts
They are not two sides of the coin, in my opinion.

Facts are facts... teaching someone facts, like the facts about birth control or about sex or STD's or pregnancy or any of that, is always a good thing.

This information will help them their whole entire lives... not just while they're teens. This is information that EVERYONE should know ("Taking Charge of Your Fertility" should be on every 12 year old girl's table, in my opinion).

Whether that same educational program promotes teens having sex or not is really a different issue.

That's why I think that sex ed should be just that... education about sex stuff. It's really not the school's job to tell teenagers when they should or shouldn't do x or y or z. Just my opinion though.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,789 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by KristiMetz View Post
Facts are facts... teaching someone facts, like the facts about birth control or about sex or STD's or pregnancy or any of that, is always a good thing.
Turns out that (sadly) not everyone agrees on the "facts" here. Abstinence-only "education" promoters claim that teaching that anything is effective other than abstinence is misinformation.

Quote:
This information will help them their whole entire lives... not just while they're teens. This is information that EVERYONE should know ("Taking Charge of Your Fertility" should be on every 12 year old girl's table, in my opinion).
At some point before my daughter starts bleeding for seven days but doesn't die I'm going to need to read that.

Quote:
That's why I think that sex ed should be just that... education about sex stuff. It's really not the school's job to tell teenagers when they should or shouldn't do x or y or z. Just my opinion though.
I don't know. On the one hand I tend to agree with you. On the other hand there are other moral points that I have no problem about. Valueing education is a moral stance. Being kind to others is a moral stance (which most schools, near as I can tell, strongly oppose). Patriotism is a moral stance but I don't mind my kids learning that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,270 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by SirPentor View Post
Turns out that (sadly) not everyone agrees on the "facts" here. Abstinence-only "education" promoters claim that teaching that anything is effective other than abstinence is misinformation.
That's true, I forgot about that. But, as long as sex ed contained the info about failure rates of different methods of contraception, what would there be to argue with? (Haha.... she says facetiously)

Contraception isn't the only fact though... sex ed should comprise a full knowledge of sex, including what the physical parts are and what they're for, what different syndromes, disorders, and conditions are and what they mean... my sister grew up with an unusual physical condition and thought she was a freakazoid. But, I guess that's because "sex ed" is seen as a special, limited part of the curriculum that focuses on actually having sex... not as part of the overall science/biology curriculum, which is what it should be, in my humble opinion (do people talk about going through "stomach ed" where they learn what stomachs are for?)

Quote:
At some point before my daughter starts bleeding for seven days but doesn't die I'm going to need to read that.
Not sure if you will find it as interesting as women do, but you should at least read the list (either in the front of back) of "interesting" terms which are commonplace in the OB/GYN field and you will understand why women feel the way they do about their reproductive systems.


Quote:
I don't know. On the one hand I tend to agree with you. On the other hand there are other moral points that I have no problem about. Valueing education is a moral stance. Being kind to others is a moral stance (which most schools, near as I can tell, strongly oppose). Patriotism is a moral stance but I don't mind my kids learning that.

I don't want to belabor a small point but... I don't really think it's the schools job to teach the majority of values, personally. There's going to be a lot of inherent spillover because that's just how human nature is (and each individual teacher will work to impart their values as it relates to what they're teaching). But, there's a difference between that spillover, and actually consciously teaching (or attempting to teach) a system of values to children. DARE is an example of attempting to use an educational curriculum to teach values and it has been a spectacular failure, as well as trying to teach some really questionable things to young people.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,755 Posts
Real facts about disease and protection (abstinance, of course, the best protection) is exactly how my high school health class was taught. All the basics about male and female reproductive organs. What sex is. All different forms of protection and what they do/do not protect against. How frequently they fail. Up close and personal color photographs of several STDs in the health book(you want kids to stay abstinant let me tell you those kinds of photos are an excellent deterrent! have you ever seen that stuff?) A woman who had been a teen mom giving a talk to the class. And isn't this kind of education PROVEN to be more effective than abstinance-only?

When you teach facts about sex and protection, abstinance always comes up. Because it is the ONLY way to be sure, everyhting else has a failure rate. And giving teens the facts and figures does not meant hey will all run out tomorrow to become a statistic! But they may be awfully grateful to know exactly what CAN and DOES happen if htey don't abstain. I was. My classmates were. And it's good information to have as they move into their adult lives, and isn't that the point of education? To prepare students for life after? Even within the context of a hetero marriage, being knowledgable about birht control is valuable.

And I absolutely think it should be taught in schools. The same way kids learn about puberty and the digestive system. It is important information about how their bodies work and I see no reason to keep it from them. Facts can be given without really *trying* to sway kids one way or another, the facts htemselves are enough for that! The religious and moral aspects of abstinence can easily be taught at home without schools withholding basic biology from young adults.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,544 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by Houdini View Post
Comment on the spinoff - age of consent got me wondering how many people think abstinence can be taught as well as how to protect yourself if you opt out of abstinence.

It seems some people think it is either one or the other.
Well I hope this wasn't in response to MY post in that thread, because I certainly THOUGHT I'd made sufficient use of smilies to make it obvious that I was being facetious...I mean...c'mon guys, abstinence? These are the jokes, people!

That's all I got.

If anyone thinks abstinence works, they haven't been down at the lake at Camp Brookwoods and Deer Run (Christian Camp and chasity training center since 1960---something) late at night after the counselors go to bed...by day we were all "I herby swear on my savior jesus christ that I will be celibate until I marry" and then by night, "Jess, which thong do you thinks makes my butt look cuter, the red one or the blue?"


Yeah, OBVIOUSLY abstinence is a good way to not get pregnant or catch a STD...dur. How long does THAT sex-ed unit take? What? five minutes and a half a piece of chalk? So where's the rest of our five billion tax dollars in funding going, I'd like to know?

Contraceptives and prophylactics, and why we need to USE them when having sex...THIS is what kids need to actually LEARN about. The rest of the stuff shouldn't take an entire term of school, if you ask me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,939 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by hakeber View Post
Yeah, OBVIOUSLY abstinence is a good way to not get pregnant or catch and STD...dur. How long does THAT sex-ed unit take? What? five minutes and a half a piece of chalk? so where's the rest of our five billion tax dollars in funding going, I'd like to know?
What is the chalk for?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,544 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
What is the chalk for?
I don't know...to write DON'T HAVE SEX on the board in big block letters? I haven't the faintest...but teachers still use chalk, don't they?

I guess there's no real need for diagrams is there?

penises and vaginas with big Xs acoss them?


I am cracking myself up over here...am I alone?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,102 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by hakeber View Post
but teachers still use chalk, don't they?
Not IME. I graduated hs in 98, and even back then it was all dry erase boards and overhead projectors. Now, in college land, it's all computers and projectors and power point.

Maybe the billions of dollars are to buy chastity belts, you know like the one in Robin Hood Men in Tights, and the government will keep the keys.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,270 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by hakeber View Post
I don't know...to write DON'T HAVE SEX on the board in big block letters? I haven't the faintest...but teachers still use chalk, don't they?

I guess there's no real need for diagrams is there?

penises and vaginas with big Xs acoss them?


I am cracking myself up over here...am I alone?
LOL! LMBO at the big X's!
 
1 - 20 of 48 Posts
Top