[JavaBean]

Please tell me DS is not the only toddler who does this.

He's 21 months old and for the past several months he's started spitting when he's mad or when he's meeting people he's never seen or hasn't seen in a long time. It starts off with him blowing wet raspberries then progresses to drool and spit running down his chin to outright spitting.

It's so irritating. I ask him to verbalize it: "Are you mad? Please don't spit. Tell me what's bothering you." I get nothing back but more spit.

What should I do? Is this a phase? How can I get him to convey his upset in a more, uh, civilized manner?

 

[Marsupialmom]

I think you are asking to much from your son. At his age his doesn't have the words.

You need to get at his level and label, everything. "If you don't want XYZ hear don't spit say XYZ." "I see XYZ is making you ABC. You don't spit. You say DEF." That is an angry face.

You have to get on their level and figure out what they are feeling. This means slow down. Observe when he does it most. Is this on person intro when he is at church, play group, tired, hungry? If he does it when a lot of people are around he could be overwhelmed and that is best handled not putting him in those situation.

 

[JavaBean]

His vocabulary is about 100-125 words (2 languages) plus signs. He's able to tell me what he wants and doesn't want which is why this new trait is so annoying.

I don't introduce him to new people when he looks away because I know he's uncomfortable but even if they just say hi from afar, he starts spitting. When his playmates plays with his toys and he's not in the mood to share he'll spit 70% of the time. The other 30% he either tells them or me that he's not happy ("no, mine") or he just takes it back. So he's capable of communicating I just don't know why he doesn't do it all the time.

And I do get to his level:
"Do you want your chalk back?"
"Yes"
"Then you need to ask for it."
Nods head. Looks at the "offender." Then spits.
"Please don't spit. No one understands that. Please say 'XYZ'."
Spits again.

At that point I distract him with something else. It seems like he's regressing in the communcation arena.