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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My mother and my MIL have mentioned that I have spoiled my baby. They say this because she is rarely content to sit on her own, or play on her own. She also fights her sleep, and she displays anger when there is something going on that she doesn't enjoy -- ex. changing clothes, getting in the carseat. She crys loud and hard -- it's a mad cry. I've been feeling like these things are just her temperment. We come from a long line of strong willed people. Now, I'm second guessing. Am I causing these things by being by her side and practicng AP. Should I leave her to play alone more often to get her used to this? Or, is she just having seperation anxiety? Should I listen to my mothers?
 

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When she's ready to be independant she will be. I wouldn't listen to what they are saying because they are dead wrong.
 

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How old is your baby? You can't spoil a baby. Things become spoiled when they're handled roughly, or left alone too long sitting on a shelf. You're LOVING your baby, and that's a good thing!
 

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<i>Can</i> you spoil a baby?! That comment always makes me <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> because most people who say that contradict themselves when they say that they can't wait to spoil the babe!<br><br>
You keep doing what you're doing, mama. I got the same comments from my family and after a while when ds wouldn't do what he was "supposed to" be doing at a certain point I'd start to question what I was doing. DS does things in his own time, and each babe does the same. I used to watch a little boy who was crawling before 6 mos, my neighbors babe just started crawling & pulling up at 9 mos, and today my ds did his first crawl at 11.5 mos. I'm sure there are things that ds is doing that other babes aren't-that's just how it goes. You just keep loving and giving your babe the best AP you can and you'll see that dc will do things in his/her own time, too!
 

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I don't think your spoiling your baby at all! Your baby is simply learning to express herself. I happen to get a real kick out of G when he is pissed off about something <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Good for him for telling me what he wants or doesn't want! I also get excited when I understand what's going on for him and can fix it lickety split.<br><br>
I wouldn't leave her to play alone just for the sake of having her play alone.
 

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eastkygal said:
Now, I'm second guessing. Am I causing these things by being by her side and practicing AP?QUOTE]<br><br>
I think when you have a parenting style that isn't in the mainstream, it's easy to end up questioning it when there are problems because you don't have as much societal support. I did the same thing when my dd was having some sleep issues. After thinking about it, I realized that I wasn't really worried that my AP practices were causing a problem, but that other people would think they were, and would think that my dd is "spoiled" or "too attached."<br><br>
And you know what I realized after that? That it's their problem, not mine. I'm raising my dd the way that feels right to me, and I don't care what they think.
 

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You cannot spoil a baby, except perhaps by ignoring them.<br><br>
And yes, I would agree that temperment plays a role in almost every aspect of a child's life - I have boy/girl twins and they are different in nearly every respect, though they are being raised with the same parenting. Different babies have different needs.
 

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My dd is the same way and my IL's have mentioned that they think she is spoiled but I just tell them "I know". and leave it at that. You are doing the right thing. I completly believe it's her personality.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thanks for the reassurance. Everything I feel and read says to me that a baby can't be spoiled. I have decided to be happy at her strong willed attitude. It will serve her a great purpose one day. She's a lot like me in that way, but apparently dh and me were both easy going babes. I believe every babe is as unique as every person. I'm just going to continue doing the best I know to do -- love her unconditionally.<br>
Thanks!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 
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