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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was just over in the parenting thread and reading about different parenting styles, etc. And I truly feel like I'm caught between two generations. IRL I seem to get along better with 50'ish grandmothers of young children, however I'm doing AP'ish things - breastfeeding at 4 years, co-sleeping, intact, etc. I'm big on safety (don't play (or even go) in street, always wear bike helmet, be polite, don't stand on chairs...), and ds has responded well to our boundaries. But I feel like I'm always explaining that everyone does things differently. Is this just me or is it an age thing?
 

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callemama:<br><br>
I went over to the old thread and told eveyone to come over here.<br><br>
I know what you mean about straddling the different thoughts and or schools.<br><br>
But I don't think it is an age thing necessarily. Because I see moms way younger than me doing that other kind of parenting. Formula, CIO..etc...<br><br>
Somewhere in this mix must be 'willingness' to change parenting patterns. I mean if you came from a cio family and have done no research you'll probably just repeat it...I guess.<br><br>
thanks for starting the new thread.
 

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Hey ladies, good to see a new thread started.<br><br>
I too feel an odd age thing. It seems that many of mother's I know that are my age are very mainstream in their parenting, but then most of the young parents are also...hmmm...I guess most of the moms are pretty mainstream. Well, as Trabot said, it takes a "willingness" to change or go againest the flow and follow your heart.<br><br>
It is wierd because I have both young children and grandchildren. My married dd and I hang out a lot and I think people look at us oddly when they see the 2 of us with our odd assortment of children. I don't look or act very grandmotherly, and my dd looks very youthful to be a mother, not to mention my teen dds that love to carry their nephew around. It is kind of fun to see people trying to figure us out.<br><br>
I'm glad to know all you mamas are out there too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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there seem to be varying degrees of acceptance for AP ideas at different times<br><br>
I think there was more acceptance for co-sleeping and ebf years ago when my nephews were babies, but that mya just have been their parents and the people they hung out with, who influenced me greatly<br><br>
nowadays where I live there is a definite swing to schedules and sleep clinic (where they teach CIO) visits seem to be de riguer, even for parents I seem to agree with on other matters like bf... most of the mums are only a little younger than I am, but having their first kids<br><br>
I guess I don't see it as an age related thing, more a society or environment thing
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Maybe I'm not caught between two generations, but between two parenting styles? I consider myself very AP until it comes to setting boundaries ... then I have a lot of them. I think they're important, but it sets us apart even in an AP crowd (although they tend to be very accepting<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">).
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
White hair come on EARLY in my family. I've been dyeing it (at home) for a few years now, but lately I've been getting the urge to go natural. Dh shudders at the thought<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> My dyed hair matches ds's blond hair. My natural hair is gray and white<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> I know there would be more grandma comments. Anyone else struggling with this vain dilemna?!
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by barbara</i><br><br>
It is wierd because I have both young children and grandchildren. My married dd and I hang out a lot and I think people look at us oddly when they see the 2 of us with our odd assortment of children. I don't look or act very grandmotherly, and my dd looks very youthful to be a mother, not to mention my teen dds that love to carry their nephew around. It is kind of fun to see people trying to figure us out.[/B]</td>
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I have this going on, and it does get amusing. My oldest dd is 25 but looks more like 16. My grandson is 5 years older than my youngest son, and then I have two teenage daughters. When we go out, with any of the three girls holding my baby ( 18 months) nobody ever knows who is who.<br><br>
As for hair dying, I am struggling with this right this minute. I bought dye about 6 months ago, and it's sill sitting here. Now I need a haircut, and I'm thinking I should dye first, then cut.<br><br>
My girls really want me to dye my hair, which is dark brown and curly with silver grey. They think I would look muich younger. They are right. However, my hair matches my dh's hair, which is also dark brown, grey and curly. And he is 4 years younger than me. maybe I should go for looking younger.<br><br>
I'm confused.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
The only person IRL that supports me NOT dying my hair is almost-4-yo ds! He thinks gray and white would be fun! Mothersong, if you decide to do it, I find its easier (for me) AFTER the cut.
 

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I just started to get gray hairs a couple of years ago and I kind of liked them. My biggest concern was that my naturally dark blond hair was getting more and more brown as I got older. I wouldn't mind, but it just always looked dirty. I hesitated to dye it because it is really long, but this summer I broke out the Sun-in and lemon juice. I love it and I'm wondering what took me so long! I feel like myself again. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br>
So now I have the roots problem...ugh!
 

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I started using Natural Instincts about 4years ago. 2 weeks ago I got it professionally done, with highlights (my hair is dark brown) he also cut it to just past my shoulders. I really like it and it took some years off my looks too. I cant handle having grays, maybe cos they show up more on my dark hair. I dont ever want to look "old". So glad I did it!
 

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i only have a few grey hairs coming in but I think when they start to come in fast and furious I will color them. Currently I'm brown with blondish highlights... maybe more highlights are in my future...<br><br><br><br>
emmaline, how are you and dbaby doing?
 

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I love grey and/or white hair. I'd love to look like, say, Emmylou Harris. I finally convinced my 58 year old mother to stop dying her hair blonde to cover the gray & just see how it looked-it's beautiful. She admitted it looks much better than the blonde.
 

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I just wanted to comment on Callmemama's comment<br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I consider myself very AP until it comes to setting boundaries ... then I have a lot of them.</td>
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<br>
Im the same way. Some of the moms I know have the "dont break their spirit by saying no" or just letting them do whatever they want way of parenting. Im proud of my dd that she is well behaved.......we can even take her to a restaurant! She is so nice to be around and though we do have our struggles, I think she feels safe knowing what is expected, what is acceptable, etc etc. It makes my parenting so much easier! I think I made that mistake with my first (who is now 26). He had such a hard adolescense and early adult life, I think bc he has a hard time with boundaries and what is socially acceptable. Its a fantasy to think we live in a society where we can do as we please.......I think its important to prepare them even in small ways for how the world really works.
 

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Well, I guess I'm dusting off this thread....<br><br>
but I just thought it was noteworthy to bring up Dave Letterman and his little boy. At 56, he really is about ready to open up his life in a great way. Don't you think?<br><br>
you know that old expression, "no one on their death bed has ever said, "I wish I spent more time at the office." Well, I think he got this one right....he squeeked in...but godblesshim he did it.<br><br>
And by the way, the mom is 41 or 42.<br><br>
I think they'll have another, just a vibe I get.<br><br>
now onto our own businesses here..... I watched E! the other day and I saw some really, really simple procedures to 'youth' up the ol' face...and well.... I'm saying it here....it was REALLY appealing. Not scary stuff, just small little things.....<br><br>
ladeedah...
 

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hey good idea to dust off this thread!<br><br>
trabot my little guy is just great, he's a big whale of a baby, sweet as pie, the boys call him all sorts of sweet nicknames but "plum-pie" is my favourite, he's 5 months today and cutting his first tooth so a little cranky and very chompy(mouthing everything he can stuff in his gob)<br><br>
re the hair issue - i have lots of thick wavy white ones thru my long dark brown hair, used to henna but now i'm enjoying the white look! though lots are currently falling out post preg - but i've been getting them for 20 yrs, just a lot more lately. the boys say i need a broomstick!<br><br>
i have no need to youth up my face (oops babe just popped off and bm squirted all over the keyboard<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"> ), i'm more concerned about my brain, it's pretty much mush at the moment
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wave.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wave"> Joining in...<br><br>
I am now 40, have a 10 yr old DS, a 1 yr old DS and am expecting a new baby in June.<br><br>
I raised DS#1 alone till he was about 7, that is when I met DH. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be having babies at my age!! :LOL DH is 35, he and the kids keep me young.<br><br>
My hair is naturally blonde, but I can see the white streaks sneaking in at my temples. I have been thinking of getting my hair highlighted to blend them in, but DH tells me he wants me to stay the way I am now.<br>
My face OK, luckly the women in my family age slowly.<br><br>
Way to go Dave <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Hey Trabot, thanks for dusting off the thread!<br><br>
Welcome Kerlowyn!<br><br>
Now I know this isn't the breastfeeding forum, but I just posted over there that my nursling turned 4 this week. So not only am I an over-40 mama, I'm an over-40, extended-breastfeeding mama<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Edited to add:<br>
Didn’t somebody mention the brain turning to mush? I just noticed that I advertised myself as nursing a 4-yo when I started this thread!! Well, now we’re official!!
 

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that's me with the brain<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> ds1 thinks I have Alzheimers <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> but there seems to be just too much to remember - I think that is a function of the number of kids not my age though<br><br><br>
callmemama you are in a very elite group! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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Hi, can I join in?<br><br>
I'm 40 and dd is almost 10 months old. First babe with my first long-term partner...we met when I was 33. He is 46. So we're definitely in the older crowd.<br><br>
For those of you who started families late, do you think much about child spacing? We haven't decided for sure to try for a second child, but I keep reading about optimal child spacing and the consensus on these boards seems to be 3-4 years between children. Well, I think dp will draw the line on more kids at 50!! So, if we want another child we may have to start trying soon, because it took us over 2 years, with 1 miscarriage, to produce the one we have. Just wondering what other older moms think about this issue?<br><br>
Grey hair...hee, hee, this has been my one vain point (OK, maybe not the only one). No grey hair yet, although my sister swears hers started when she had her first child and I did notice one at my temple the other day! Egads, could this be the beginning of the end?
 
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