[HerthElde]

Well, now that we know we want to live in the country and produce much of our own food, build a straw bale house, etc, etc, we've also started wondering about community.
Specifically, I think we'd like to form an ecovillage (a small one).
So, I'm just wondering if any of you have ever been part of the planning of a cohousing community or live in one? Any tips on how to get it all running smoothly?

For those of you who've never really heard of such a concept, check out these websites:
http://www.cohousing.org
http://www.ecovillage.org

 

[cstgmt]

I've been talking to dh about doing something like this. Thanks for the websites. I'll be keeping an eye on this thread.

Oh, where are wanting to do this?

 

[granolamom]

We have many friends who live in intentional communities in Tennessee, and North Carolina...Some are successful..many fall apart.The Farm in Summertown, Tennessee has a weekend conference sometime in the fall where the topic is community living.

We have thought and are still thinking about starting a small community with maybe 4-6 other families..Each family owning 3-4 acres of their own land and having 20 or so acres for farming...ecovillage...community house for gathering..studios for artist/musicians....owned jointly by the members...

I love community living............

 

[stretchmark]

All I know is they take lots of work.
Well, I probably know more than that but that is what sticks out to me.

I've been living in an intentional/spiritual/permaculture community and it has been around since the late 60's. It's a miracle it survived too, because they made it a no-drug place and their numbers went from 100 to 3.
They have all their by-laws in place and still maintaining the place wears the residents a little thin.
I am actually in the process of starting a smaller-scale community on the same mountain with less structure. (Lama has wake up bells, morning meditation time, breakfast, daily meetings, work time, lunch, work time, dinner, and some evening practices or gatherings). The few of us who are in on this idea together are all pretty sure of what works and what doesn't work. We've seen too little structure in community and we've seen too much. We've seen lots of stuff and it seems the consensus process that the Quakers used is by far the best way for everyone to be an equal member.
We are buying land together and everyone will own the land and buildings. We will have a community center and everyone will have private residences as well. Our structure is still "in the works" as we figure out just what it is we want to create.
I guess you need to set your intention and then ask yourself questions like, "What is necessary to make that happen?"
The community where I have been living has a mission statement and when decisions are made at business meetings and such, they have to refer back to the mission statement. It seems to be a grounding point that you can always come back to when things get a little wild.
I wish I had more tips for you.
Lama has had soooo much help over the years with many, many people coming to help build houses and work in the gardens. It is an amazing place and I hope to see much more communal living happening in this country.
Good luck!

 

[Gunter]

Just wanted to say "thanks" for those two links. I have spent hours pouring over them. So nice to see such kinds of intentional community life in my neck of the woods!

 

[mammamoon]

HEllo We are a group of about 5 people in louisiana forming an intentional community. At times it can be so discouraging,all of those frivilous details that teast my patience so much, but today as I walked on the beautiful 43 acres that is the blank canvas of our future I awakened to the joy of being apart of such a bold and creative venture.
I have read some really great books on cohousing and developing intentional communtities, and that has saved us at time of conflict or just when we have hit a bump in the road, because it happens, it is all a learning experience. Have you seen the book Building a life together? That has been one of my favorites. The only suggestion I have is to have a visioning excercise where every one involved disscuses thier own personal vision, what they see happening with the community, and from that develope the official vision and mission statement. That is were you will draw your inpiration fom. That is the motivation when times get a little tough. Remember the vision ! I wish you all the best, and I am greatful for all of your efforts in trying to create a better life for yourself, for those around you, and in turn the whole planet. I am always holding the vision for us all.

 

[Ruby'sMom]

My Hus and I want to create an intentional community at some point in our lives. We have had several meetings with friends, but our folks, at this time, don't have any organizing principles to bond us just yet- beyond the desire to LEAVE LOS ANGELES. In spite of the paralysis at the moment, I have given this lots of thought. I set up accounting and organizing systems for small businesses as well as having founded two theatre companies and what I have to offer by way of insight and guidance is this-- make sure to have your difficult communications first. Do the hard work of creating structures and systems of conduct, finance, conflict resolution, etc... ahead of time. These systems, if well aligned with your collective's values and intentions and arrived at through consensus, can serve as markers for dealing with issues that may come up. They'll free up your communication because you can stay out of the personal attacks and yuckies when referring to or using the guidelines. Structure, structure, structure can help with longevity.

Keep us posted on your progress!

 

[mountain mom]

Where are you thinking of doing this HerthElde? I am very interested in details!

 

[HerthElde]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mountain mom Where are you thinking of doing this HerthElde? I am very interested in details!

I really don't know (which is why I haven't really started :LOL) Part of me wants to stay in Saskatchewan, but another part of me wants mountains. So right now, we're pretty much tossing around the idea of maybe moving to Alberta or BC.

It's such a commitment that I really think we need to figure out where we'd likely be happy for the rest of our lives before we settle on a place. Trouble is, our choices are narrowed by dh's career (he's an engineer and wants to stay in manufacturing of some sort). There just aren't jobs for him everywhere. At least he has his P.Eng. now (professional designation), though, so it makes it easier to move to another province if we decide to.

 

[Ex Libris]

Hi HerthElde,
I just came across your post here about starting an intentional community (and I've enjoyed your posts in other forums, esp. Nutrition). Have you made any further decisions about it? Still thinking of moving to another province? Dh and I are in the States right now, but we're going to be applying for permanent residence status in Canada. We're hoping to move to BC in about a year--around the Kaslo/Nelson/Revelstoke area (not sure where, yet). We've thought about either joining or starting a community ourselves. We just got back from a trip to BC and found the land prices to be pretty steep. We want to live simply and sustainably and to grow much of our own food, but most of the land is out of our price range. So the thought of using the purchasing power of more than one family is pretty appealing. Just wondering what you've figured out. . .

 

[HerthElde]

Thanks Kelly

Our plans are still totally up the air. Right now, we're going pretty slowly as we still have a lot of clutter to clear out - dh gets really stressed by the thought of moving, so I've had to pull back the reins on my own enthusiasm a bit. I'm not sure if we'll be leaving the province or not. I really feel a call to move nearer the ocean, and away from such a cold winter, but at the same time since I've been more conscious of my diet, I'm able to handle the cold a lot better than I could in the past.
So, all that said, without knowing where we're going to be I haven't tried to start anything up at all. The Revelstoke area is gorgeous - I definitely feel a sense of peace when I'm around there. Keep me posted if you decide to pursue anything!

 

[umami_mommy]

i am totally into the concept od IC. but my experiecnes over the last 10 years have really soured me on the reality of it.

sad to say, i am so cynical about people.

my most recent experience was a couple we were really close with. our son's were born 11 days apart and we moved out the the country close to them, and then they started getting.... well.... wierd. she works and i stay home and started getting little gibes from her about me not getting out and how i needed a part time job and i NEEDED to start leaving my son with someone. and then suddenly she had to sit me down and tell me all about the tings i had done in the last 7 years to piss her off.

(which made me really start questioning how much i could logically trust her) her dh started getting really punitive with their son, which made me really uncomfortable and so on and so on, until i finally just stopped talking to them in april and haven't heard a word from them since. which makes me feel that maybe we were never really as close as i thought.

ANYWAY, my point in all this is that even if you are really close to someone for 7 or more years you just never know what is really going on with them or how they REALLY fell about you and to invest so much time and money and effort to start an IC seems SOOOOOO risky to me.

BUT my birthmom's boss belongs to a co-housing community in DC and they are very very happy, so who knows, right?

it could just be me.

but i am so in love with the idea.

 

[sunnybear]

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybeedreams but my experiecnes over the last 10 years have really soured me on the reality of it. sad to say, i am so cynical about people. ANYWAY, my point in all this is that even if you are really close to someone for 7 or more years you just never know what is really going on with them or how they REALLY fell about you and to invest so much time and money and effort to start an IC seems SOOOOOO risky to me. it could just be me.

It's definitely not just you. I've read a lot about ICs, and my husband and I have the exact concerns you've mentioned. We've been, to put it in decent words, "done wrong," badly by quite a few people (even by people with kids we took in after they were evicted), and it's really done a number on my confidence in people.

 

[Snowdrift]

I know this is an older thread, but I just had to say I know what you mean!

I was/am all fired up about group homesteading as a small IC, until we took in some friends (and kids) who were having difficulties.

I'll call em A and B. A moved in last January with her 4 y.o. daughter when she broke up with her fiance. Little did we know that we'd be forced to witnessed child neglect on a massive scale. The idea was partly that she could take her DD out of daycare as with three adults we could take care of her without resorting to childcare. This become me and my DH watching her all the time while A went on date after date after date. When DH and i protested she started leaving her daughter with her mom/sister/ex, often bouncing from one to another for days on end. This poor 4 yo would end up sleeping in three different houses over five days nearly every week so that her mom could hang out at the bar. A kept insisting that if we kept up our part of the bargain by babysitting more (in other words all the time) then it wouldn't be necessary. DH and I were the only ones to read to her, the only ones to feed her even moderately nutritious meals--all kinds of stuff. After nearly a year of this, being a party to this kind of thing was taking such a toll on our marriage that we have asked her to leave. She's moving back in with her mother by the end of the month. We've seen her several time as she comes and goes, often with aguy in tow, but we've not seen her daughter in a month. We have no idea what is happening with her.

B lost her house to foreclosure at the beginning of the summer. Our little trailer was already crowded, but we welcomed her and her 2 yo son and her 11 yo daughter in. They were ok, except that they were so destructive of our things! Thier cat make messes on our carpets that B refused to clean up--or rathe rsaid she'd clean up but sinmply didn't. The 11 yo saw the 2 yo overtunr a large cup of chocolate milk onto the carpet and didn't sayh or do anyhting--huge stinky nasty stiff spot where it won't come out now! I don't care so much about carpeting, but we will have to sell this place at some point and we will lose a lot of money on it now.

Overall I'm just really soured on communal living. I know it's not always like that. I also know that both of these women were in need of a place to stay not through ordinary misfortune but partially through a certain level of maladaptivenss and that it wasn't communal living so much as them living in our space.

I am just a little scared of trusting anyone to that degree again. Twice burned, thrice shy!

So we're leaning more towards a family homestead, with us in one cottage and DH's parents in another on the same property. We love them and know that no one will take advantage.

 

[shanagirl]

Stretchmark that comment about your IC going from 100 members to 3 made me laugh so loud I woke my dog!