[RoseDuperre]

Lily is 7.5 months old. We had a hell of a time with nursing for the first 5 months, and because that was so all-consuming in every way, I never got the chance to work on her being comfortable with other people watching her (including her dad, who lived separately until 1 week ago), and she's never taken a feeding from anyone else.

I always wanted to be a very attached parent. I'm happy to be the primary parent, too. But I am starting to lose it here. I am THRILLED to be nursing and I don't regret any of the steps we took to get us there, period. But I never went back to work fully. We tried several times in months 4-5 to have me take a single hour-long client session with a 45 minute commute, and it was okay once or twice, but mostly ended with her crying and crying and very hungry. So we gave up on that and took the financial hit.

Now we're all living together, which is great, but I'm still not getting a break of any kind. She won't let her dad hold her for more than about 10 minutes if she can't see me, so I can't even take a shower without rushing, and unpacking is limited to a box or two per nap. She also doesn't like to be put down for more than a few minutes. I try to wear her as much as possible, and rotate the Ergo & sling, but she gets fussy after about 1/2 hour.

My house is a shambles with no end in sight, I can barely get dinner cooked, I fear I may never return to the gym to lose the last 30 of the 65 pounds I gained due to not being able to exercise for the last half of my pregnancy because of my placenta previa, or return to any other life outside of this.

I guess this is mostly a vent/rant, but I'm feeling so at the end of my rope. What do we do?? I'm starting to feel resentment towards my precious beloved dream-come-true, and I then hate myself for it & feel even worse.

 

[Siera]

I honestly don't have any advice, but I wanted to just say that I sympathize with you because my DD (4 months) and I are in the exact same boat you are. (((hugs))) Oh, and I also had placenta previa...Anxious to see what other, more experienced moms suggest.

 

[summerforever1977]

Hugs to you, mama! I was the "one and only" until about a month ago when DH really started to be able to take on a bigger role and Ben didn't need to be at the breast as often as every hour. And I am very happy to report that within the last week or two my baby has actually reached out for his daddy on several occasions while I was holding him; that is a huge deal for us because previoiusly if I was around he only wanted me. I can only tell you that this will pass sooner than later and eventually your house will be unpacked. You will never regret all this time you spend with your baby and how much she needs you and you won't care in a few years (or months) how long it took to unpack your house. I know it can be tough now when you are living through it, but just know that when you look at this in the rearview, you won't sweat the stuff that is bugging the hell out of you now.

As for the exercising, I have always managed to get DH to watch Ben for exactly one hour while I workout. In the beginning I would get home and there may be crying, but now not at all. You gott take time for yourself, because everyone knows that if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

 

[WyattsMom2008]

If your LO is seven months old, it won't be long before she's mobile. She sounds very similar to my ds. When I started putting him on the floor on his tummy at six months old, he wouldn't go longer than five or ten minutes at a time. Then at seven and a half months old, he started being able to go a half hour to an hour at a time on the floor. Now at ten months old he's still not crawling, but he creeps around, and he wants to be on the floor playing all the time, except when he's tired.

Also, I would think that the more time your ds spends with your dd, the more attached she will become to him. Does he play baby bonding games with her like peek a boo?

You shouldn't feel guilty. In most cultures, women had extended families and tribes to help them with their babies.

Always remember when you feel discouraged that time is on your side. With a baby, good things really do come to those who wait.

 

[accountclosed2]

It does get better, really! My DD is the same, and we also had lots of feeding issues. She is happy with her father though - as long as she can't see or hear me! We can't leave her with anyone. She also feeds once or twice and hour and she doesn't take a bottle. At the moment she will only sleep on my back (or sometimes when out in front carry) in the daytime. But - it is much better now than it was at 6 months, and 6 months was better than 3 months. At least now she'll play for a while on the floor at my feet (at home, that is). She is very, very attached. And it isn't easy. But as she gets older I'm sure her will to explore will lead her to venture further and further away from me, and I hope she will get confident enough in time to want to spend time on her own with her grandmother, for example.

 

[shanniesue2]

DH and I just got into an argument about this very issue tonight. DS (who is 9 months old) had nursed himself to sleep in my lap in the den. DH was in bed already. I needed to do some very important computer work. So I took DS into DH. Well, he woke up and started crying. DH got ticked off because he had been asleep. I told him I needed to finish this work. Well, DH couldn't get DS to calm down. Here lately, the ONLY thing that works for calming DS down is nursing. Don't get me wrong... I'm so grateful for our nursing relationship... and he really doesn't get upset all that often--he's a pretty laid back baby. But sometimes it's so frustrating that I'm the ONLY person who can help him when he's crying. Especially when I'm really needing to get something important done. So I don't really have any ideas... just thought I'd say I know how you feel.

 

[rightkindofme]

My daughter isn't real fond of daddy most of the time, but I have to go to classes a few nights a week and it isn't something I can avoid. (If I don't finish this round of classes my credits towards my masters degree start expiring and I am NOT doing more masters classes.)

My husband figured out the orc walk:

It helps a lot.
(And it's funny.)

 

[claddaghmom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rightkindofme My daughter isn't real fond of daddy most of the time, but I have to go to classes a few nights a week and it isn't something I can avoid. (If I don't finish this round of classes my credits towards my masters degree start expiring and I am NOT doing more masters classes.) My husband figured out the orc walk: It helps a lot. (And it's funny.)

Yes, the walking seems to work for the daddies. When DD gets fussy before bedtime, it's the only thing that will actually get her to calm down.