Mothering Forum banner
1 - 10 of 10 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
198 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
But I still have some concerns that make me nervous. This will be baby #5 and while my births are generally very fast (about 4 hours) and completely problem free, there's always that "what if". My last baby was a homebirth and I pretty much delivered him myself. My midwife was sitting on my bed watching and instructing me what to do when I needed her. I pulled him up to my chest and a few minutes later delivered the placenta. The what if's come in with what if its a breach. What if I have bleeding. My midwife can handle those things, I don't know that I could. What if the placenta doesn't fully deliver and is seperated or something? She could handle it. What if baby is having difficulty in the minutes after birth? She has O2 there for that. These are the things that concern me a bit. OTOH, I just can't see spending $3000 for a midwife when I do it all myself anyways. I'm in the process of looking to buy a baby doppler and urine test strips so I can monitor all that stuff at home. I'm looking to buy a baby scale to weigh baby on (since I also don't do any 'well baby visits'.) DH says that he's confident enough after seeing me deliver 3 of the 4 babies (one came 3 weeks early and he was away on business), and him cutting the cord, etc, that he feels confident enough to be able to help if I need him. Can someone help convince me that he's right in wanting this and that I really CAN do it without assistance. Inside me I believe i can, but there is still that little nagging voice.....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,062 Posts
Hi Kelly Congrats on all your kids and new pregancy
I think you have to be sure you want to uc, I think it's great your dh is into it and I'm sure you can do it but it really is your choice. I did it cos I hate hospital and all their rubbish.Oh...and cos I'm right into natural birthing. I gave birth in a 2-person tent( the pole was really bent afterwards lol) and also in the back of a transit van, I would like to have just been outside near woodland, I guess the tent one was an outdoor birth really. I don't want anyone near me so it suits me fine and I would be called fanatical which is crap just a woman trying to protect herself really. It was a wonderful experience, am very outdoory, nature-loving person so it was right for me. Is there any way without paying all that cash that you could have some sorta back-up plan for just-in-cases?I mean there's also the stuff like cord wraps that your dh should prepare for and just be prepared you'll be fine. I think this is important just to protect yourself and be able to get help should you need to then you would feel more confident and comfortable with uc and of course that will help you no end. I actually had no back-up plan and was living on the road at the time so I would have just gone to hospital and hoped for best,we don't have to pay for treatment in emergency in UK so it's very different for you but I wasn't in UK with 2nd uc so it coulda got tricky. Oh, I cut the cords and clamped em myself, I also bled considerably with my son but was out the next day doing the washing in the river. Good luck, have herbs and healing foods on hand .
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
198 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
2 of my 4 kids had cords wrapped around their necks so he feels very confident that he can handle that too. It's not that I'm afraid to do it unassisted. I guess I just need to be pointed in the right direction, to the right books, etc to be able to handle whatever is thrown at me. Like I said, my births are incredibly simple and I've never had complications (except for a fractured pelvic bone from the damn doctors at the hospital in my first birth) and some small tears that didn't require stitches or anything. I think I also need to hear some of the 'horror stories' (which I NEVER listen to in my pregnancies) of anyone who had cord wraps or breeches and came through it with flying colors. I need the inspirational stories to push me forward I think. LOL
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
25 Posts
I agree with what she said about it's great dh is on board but I think you really have to know heart and soul it's the right choice for you.

The things I would suggest are making sure you're as educated as possible...on minor complications, remedies, etc. Would you midwife help you prepare for a UC? I know I was a doula at a homebirth and she sort of walked through with me what to do should the baby before she made it (DISCLAIMER: of course normally doulas don't do ANYTHING clinical but this was a close friend and she welcomed my assistance if it were necessary). Also, discuss or research what complications are truly life threatening (meaning you or babe would likely die BEFORE you got to the hospital if you called 911). In my learning, experience and reading it seems MOST complications are not severe and the ones that are, you just call 911 and get to the hospital all is still good. And make sure dh knows as well. MOST of the time things goes perfectly fine but it is easy to panic at the sight of blood, a nuchal cord, a less-than-pink baby, etc.

If you are having doubts, the $3000, to me, would be worth the peace of mind to have a relaxing birth experience. Would the mw cut you a deal if she just showed up for the birth?

Best of luck! I can't wait to hear your birth story! (assuming you'll share it with us
)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
25 Posts
Another thing...I would :google 'unassisted childbirth' if you haven't already. I've heard there are excellent sites out there. As far as the uplifting stories, I'm sure you could find lots online. I know of one woman who had a breech baby, at home, on her dining room table with 2 chiros helping adjust her bones for babe to get out safely. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do! Both mom and babe were perfectly fine.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
15,078 Posts
Don't know if I can really help. But here is what I would do.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kellym
I pretty much delivered him myself. My midwife was sitting on my bed watching and instructing me what to do when I needed her. I pulled him up to my chest and a few minutes later delivered the placenta.
OK, what did your MW tell you to do? Was it anything specific? Was it something that is not really important? Was is something that you would have figured out by yourself?

These answers can help you answer the question for yourself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kellym
The what if's come in with what if its a breach.
Do a net search on vaginal breech births. You will find a lot of info. Basically, if you do a hosptial birth for a breech, you are almost guaranteed a C/S.

Vaginal breech births are very possible. However, if your assistant is inexperienced, they can cause more problems or even damage the baby. When given the choice, I believe that delivering a breech baby UC and unassisted by anyone is possibly the most safest way. The baby will twist and turn itself and will come out as it needs by itself.

The dangers of a breech baby are that the cervix will not be fully opened by the time the head tries to come out. This is not really a problem if the baby is full term (the chest is usually almost as large if not larger than the head) and especially if the butt comes out first (not the feet). If you are not full term and the feet come out first, that is when there can be a problem. But for this, you can always choose to go to the hospital (call 911 if you have to) and it, too usually has a very good outcome with a safely delieverd baby (although usually via C/S).

If I was full term, I would deliver a breech baby UC with no hesitations.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kellym
What if I have bleeding.
Most bleeding is caused by interventions, medications, pulled placentas, or if you have a clotting problem. If these four things are not present, then it is not a HIGH probability. Although there is always that possibility. Just know what is normal bleeding. And, generally, if there is too much bleeding, you will know, and you will have time to get to the hospital.

There are also herbs that you can keep on hand for that possiblity. In addition, I drink RRL Tea throughout my pregnancy, it is a uterine toner, which decreases this possibility further. Plus, it is said that you can eat part of the placenta and bleeding will stop very quickly. In an emergency, this is what I would do.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kellym
What if the placenta doesn't fully deliver and is seperated or something?
If you have heavy bleeding before the baby delievers (which you should not) then go to the hospital! It could mean a detached placenta and could harm baby. But again, you will know there is bleeding and that it is bad. You should have plenty of time to go to the hospital.

The placenta will deliver eventually if your uterus is clamping down. If there is no heavy bleeding, I would wait as long as it takes. If there is left over peices, it too will deliver eventually. Again, without heavy bleeding, I would just give it time.

To "aid" a placenta delivery that seems to not want to come out, I would just use gravity. Take a hot shower to relax and stay as up right as possible. You can do light pushing with any contractions (not hard, just abdominal tightening). If there is a retained placenta, your uterus will begin to contract again until it delievers it.

If I had no real heavy bleeding and no fever or abnormal pain, I would wait it out, even over the course of a day or two (although I don't think it would ever take that long). I usually deliver mine within 5-10 minutes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kellym
What if baby is having difficulty in the minutes after birth?
After the birth, while the cord is attached and pulsing, there is no need for the baby to breath, it is still getting air through the placenta.

After the cord is cut, if the baby is having trouble breathing, first make sure his nose and mouth are not full of mucus. Then stimulate the baby. Move, wiggle, and rub. That is why the MWs and nurses rub the baby so hard at the birth. This stimulates the blood flow which inturn causes the baby to breath better.

If the baby is really having trouble breathing, call 911 or get them to the hospital fast. (IF this is really a problem.)

I and my oldest daughter have also been trained in infant CPR. This would be a good thing for every UCer to know, just incase.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kellym
DH says that he's confident enough after seeing me deliver 3 of the 4 babies, and him cutting the cord, etc, that he feels confident enough to be able to help if I need him.
Many UCers have trouble convincing their DHs that that is their desire and that it is really safe. You have that one licked! You DH is already on board. I would trust your gut feelings. Don't be ruled by fear. Research and learn about every thing you can. You have given birth before (several times) so you know what to expect, that is more than some UCers that are FTMs. Trust yourself. You CAN do it.

HOWEVER, in the end, if you really feel that UC is not for you, don't go against your own feelings. Perhaps you can talk to your MW or any MW and tell them that you desire a UC, but would like for them to be present, if even in the other room, just incase. Perhaps they could give you a really big discount for just sitting in the other room for a few hours.

It never hurts to ask. I paid for a MW one time. And after finding out that I did all the work, I could not justify the expense, so I never hired one again.

Hope that helps some. I'd be glad to answer any other specific questions you may have.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
15,078 Posts
I forgot to add.

Of my eight children, seven of them had the cords wrapped around their neck.

Four had it wrapped once.
Two had it wrapped twice.
One had it wrapped three times.

There has never been a problem with this. We just deliver it as is, if there seemed to be a stall, like the cord was holdiing up the delivery, we would unwrap and deliver.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
198 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Quote:
OK, what did your MW tell you to do? Was it anything specific? Was it something that is not really important? Was is something that you would have figured out by yourself?
Truly the only thing she told me was that at one point as the head emerged I had that 'ring of fire' feeling. I did the quite typical "OMG that is burning like hell" and she basically told me where to put my hands and apply some pressure to help with the burning. That was it. She still talks about my births as one of the most unreal births she's ever experienced. I sent a friend to her recently and the first hour of their first appointment was her telling my story and how amazing it was.
That's always nice to hear.


Thanks for all the info Jenny. It really made me feel quite confident. I talked with DH today and simply said that I need to make sure that he could step up if need be. I need to make sure that if there was a breach, he could help 'keep me open' if need be to help get the head out. I know he can and he knows he can. He has an uncle who has 4 kids, all born at home (20 years ago). Of the 4, 2 were UC and so that is part of why he is so pro-UC.

I also bought a couple books today and they will be here in a week. One is called "Hearts & Hands", one is "Emergency Childbirth" (which is written for police officers adn paramedics...figured it would be good for DH to read through) and one is "Childbirth without Fear". Hopefully they will be good reads and make me 100% confident in this decision. As of now, I'm about 99%.


Thanks for all the info and help. You ladies have been a great source of strength and encouragement in this decision.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,161 Posts
My internet (and cable and phone... grrrr) have been down for a while (lighting took out my whole area), so I'm just now seeing this, but Kelly, I just wanted to tell you that I think its awesome that you are considering this.

Everyone has given such great advice and information, and since I'm so new to this, I really have nothing to add, but I did want to second (or third or fourth) this:
You should only UC if its what you know to be, without a doubt, the best course of action for you. Don't consider your DH, don't consider money, or anything else- decide based on what YOU are comfortable with and what you feel capable of doing.
It sounds like you have got some great reading material coming your way, and I'm sure that you will know soon what you want to do.

Don't pressure yourself to make a decision today, or even this trimester.
We still have plenty of time before January to figure everything out.
 
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
Top