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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm just not enjoying nursing the way I used to. I'm feeling "touched out" a lot of the time. I'm also in a fibroflare, so every part of my body is sore and achey, nipples included. I just don't want to be touched anymore! I'm also getting weary of co-sleeping- I just want my space!!<br><br>
Last night, I nursed/snuggled ds to sleep in our bed, then got up. DD9 snuggled with him and fell asleep there, so I slept in her bed. In the middle of the night, ds woke up screaming because I wasn't there- I went back to the big bed, he asked for "moo" but fell asleep snuggling without nursing.
 

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I hear you, mama! I feel exactly the same way. Especially as it seems that DD is asking to nurse more ... like every five damn minutes, more. Especially as it is taking DD longer and longer to nurse to sleep -- it was 97 minutes tonight. See, I'm so over nursing that I've started timing it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> for you. Wish I could offer something more, but I just don't know what else to say.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> wish you didn't have to suffer this fibro stuff. that's not fair, especially a mom who is nursing.<br><br>
maybe a little humor will help? i take the words to "you've lost that loving feeling" by the Everly Brothers and replace them with "i've lost that nursing feeling", and then try to sing the song all the way through with those key changes (some lines it's still "you"...like the beginning..."you never close your eyes anymore when i nurse you to sleep"<br>
might not take the pain away, but might make the nursing more bearable while you are going through a spell. "bring back that nursing feeling..."
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I don't have any advice for you, only sympathy. I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I weaned my first DD at two because I couldn't get past that feeling (I know this is the CLW forum and I don't mean to sound discouraging. I didn't even know what that was 10 years ago or I might have done things differently), so I know what it's like. I just wanted to let you know that I feel for you. And wow, 3.5 years, that's awesome! I'm planning to nurse my second daughter longer than I did my first.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>kirstie</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> wish you didn't have to suffer this fibro stuff. that's not fair, especially a mom who is nursing.<br><br>
maybe a little humor will help? i take the words to "you've lost that loving feeling" by the Everly Brothers and replace them with "i've lost that nursing feeling", and then try to sing the song all the way through with those key changes (some lines it's still "you"...like the beginning..."you never close your eyes anymore when i nurse you to sleep"<br>
might not take the pain away, but might make the nursing more bearable while you are going through a spell. "bring back that nursing feeling..."</div>
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:LOL That's great!!<br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MerelyGod</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">And wow, 3.5 years, that's awesome!</div>
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We're only a month away from his 4th birthday! I am setting some new limits on his nursing- if it makes me uncomfortable, I make him stop nursing, even if he's only been nursing a minute or so, and I'm really starting to encourage cuddles in place of nursing.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Ruthla</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">:<br>
We're only a month away from his 4th birthday! I am setting some new limits on his nursing- if it makes me uncomfortable, I make him stop nursing, even if he's only been nursing a minute or so, and I'm really starting to encourage cuddles in place of nursing.</div>
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Oh wow! I saw 3.5 years in your sig. 4 is awesome! I think you're doing the right thing in setting limits and encouraging cuddling. CLW is wonderful, but if you aren't enjoying it, he'll pick up on those feelings and that isn't good. Anyway, I think it's much better to do whatever you need to do to continue nursing as long as he would like, than to wean him on your schedule because it gets to be too much. I wish I had done more of that with my daughter (can you tell I still have issuse? :LOL )
 

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Just wanted to offer some sympathy. We've just made three years and there are days I just want to run screaming out of the house. I just don't think I can keep nursing my three year old on demand while I nurse my infant on demand as well. It's just a bit too much for me right now. Good luck setting some limits.
 

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I'm so right there with you. My Ds is 3.5 yrs, and still nurses every time I sit down, some days. I'm so over it! Although, he's laying in my left arm nursing himself to sleep right now, and he's so sweet and cuddly. On that same note, my arm is falling asleep, so it's rather uncomfortably too. I'm torn. I want it to be his idea to wean, but it's starting to look like a neverending story for me.
 

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Just wanted to say that I'm in the same boat. I've tried to wean my 3yo for a year now, but the few times I've tried it, he's screamed/tantrumed/whatever for over 2 hrs each time before I realized he's (unfortunately) not ready to wean. I mean *constant* screaming/crying/raging.<br><br>
Now that I'm newly pg w/#2, he seems to want to nurse even more. With him, he gets into a rage if he's hungry (like mama). Unlike mama, he refuses to eat & wants to nurse for another 30 minutes. Which I can't stand; I need a break. Heck, *I* need to eat or *I* go off into a rage! (i'm dead serious) I **CANNOT** reason with him - I've tried to in several attempts to wean him (not the 2hr meltdown ones). sigh.<br><br>
Just wanted to offer sympathy & good luck in setting limits!
 

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I think even with CLW it is perfectly reasonable for mom to set limits that make her more sane. When I got worn out from dd asking to nurse more than I could stand I'd offer her icecream instead. I made homemade organic icecream to decrease my guilt. I figured if she turned down icecream she really needed the nursing, but most of the time, icecream won.<br><br>
B52Bombshell- Have you tried leaving out a snack tray all day for your little one? I used to have the same problem with my dd, and fixing a muffin tin with lots of differnt little fingerfoods and leaving it out where she could snack all day really helped a lot. That way she could eat before she really got so hungry nothing would do but milk.
 

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He's not really into food, period. (Is this MY child?) I've tried the food tray thing...no success. We've been *really* busy lately, and while I keep snacks on hand for both of us, his tend to be carb heavy since that's what he'll eat. He needs more protein. He's been refusing PB&J this week, & other than chicken nuggets & some dairy (which doesn't do well being out of the fridge for 5 hrs), he won't eat beans or nuts or anything. When we're out, I have no way to keep things cold. No car: just me, backpack, stroller, & kid. I try to head off the hunger tantrums, but I'm not always successful.<br><br>
We've done better today - he saw a pizza store & wanted a slice. So far, so good...<br><br>
I also agree that it's fine for mom to set limits when nursing's driving her up the wall.
 

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I love the idea of singing....:LOL it's too funny.<br><br>
I am getting touched out too, so I've got no advice for you. Between dd (40months) and dd(25 months), I'm so sick of nursing, I want to <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hopmad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hopping mad"><br><br>
So, just know you're not alone? Does that even help anymore? Who cares that I'm not alone? Really? My friends say that "You're not alone!" Hell, yes, I'm alone! Are you the one nursing constantly at night? Are you the one who never gets a break? Are you the one who is so *sick* of hearing "Mooommmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyy" that you just want to F.R.E.A.K. O.U.T? No? Really, you're not? Then SHUT UP!<br><br>
So taking my own advice, and <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/sulkoff.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="tiptoe">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>APMom98</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">...<br>
So, just know you're not alone? Does that even help anymore? Who cares that I'm not alone? Really? My friends say that "You're not alone!" Hell, yes, I'm alone! Are you the one nursing constantly at night? Are you the one who never gets a break? Are you the one who is so *sick* of hearing "Mooommmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyy" that you just want to F.R.E.A.K. O.U.T? No? Really, you're not? Then SHUT UP! ...</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">: :LOL<br>
I understand. Even though I have only one - he IS enough for two. (even my mom & MIL say that) But I'm alone with him for 12+ hours a day, every day. I'm the one who has to deal with seemingly constant crying/whining & tantrums. I'm the one who has to attempt to model correct behavior at all times...who has to attempt to keep her cool when completely touched out to the point of insanity, who has to put HER plans on hold (like going to the gym for the 1st time in 3 wks 'cos the child's just wigging out about everything. It's my only "alone" time)...who...who...who...list your rant here.<br><br>
But it IS helpful to know that I'm not the only one going thru this & I'm not the only one nursing a 3yo (or older). Remembering that when we're in the middle of the trenches is another story...
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I went thru that with my dd she was 31 months when we co-operatively weaned. I really had no choice as things were getting out of control. She was just down to nursing to go to sleep and sometimes first thing in the morning. But I just couldnt handle it anymore. I couldnt handle her hand touching my bare skin on my chest if it was exposed. And she would nurse and nurse and nurse and not go to sleep <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I would catch myself getting madder and madder <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> and all i could think of was how much i wanted her off me. So I made the decision to start weaning her I felt guilty about it for a long time but honestly there was nothing else I could do. I guess what it comes down to is if u r no longer comfortable with it then it is time to make the decision to stop. At almost 4 yr <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> U have done a supper excellent job and u should be very very proud.
 

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My DD will be 4 in Feb. and honestly nursing is driving me insane the majority of the time <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I try to zone out so it doesn't bother me as much but a lot of the time I'm laying there thinking "please just stop already!!" I don't want to wean her but I don't want her to feel bad about nursing <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><br><br>
In the last 3 hours of sleeping every morning she wakes up 3-5 times. She'll get under the covers with me for a second, start to nurse, then she'll realize that she hates being covered so she starts kicking until they come off her taking my covers with her...I just want to scream!!! Oh and the whining for bubbas first thing in the morning <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nut.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nut"><br><br>
The thing is we ttc #2 and I don't know if I can handle nursing for 5+ years. I'm afraid I'm going to resent nursing a newborn as well.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> to all of the mamas here who are feeling touched-out and nursed-out. I remember those days. This might or might not help any but I just wanted to say that nursing does ease up and become far more enjoyable. In retrospect, I actually miss those toddler days (sometimes <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">). A sense of humor is soooo helpful, as kirstie so creatively said. The toddler years can be intense, they are going through so much growth, they need tons of reassurance and empathy. Nothing is as reassuring and comforting as nursing. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
Ruth, I can't imagine how intense it must be to nurse with fibro. I hope you can find a middle ground that will benefit the both of you. I agree that it is not good for anyone to nurse in pain, but limits are far better than complete weaning. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Oceansummer</strong></div>
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In the last 3 hours of sleeping every morning she wakes up 3-5 times. She'll get under the covers with me for a second, start to nurse, then she'll realize that she hates being covered so she starts kicking until they come off her taking my covers with her...I just want to scream!!! Oh and the whining for bubbas first thing in the morning <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nut.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nut"></div>
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I finally found a solution for the blanket thing<br>
(my ds does the same thing)<br>
I have a blanket next to me that I am not using.<br>
When ds starts his morning routine, I cover him with HIS own blanket.<br>
When he kicks it of, I am still all nice and snug in mine <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
This is what I've been doing for about 2 weeks, and so far, so good.
 

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Have you tried taking some time for yourself? When you're feeling touched out by nursing, sometimes it means you just need some private time. Have your dh or a grandmother or a babysitter take the baby for a couple of hours and do something for yourself: get a pedicure, wander in a bookstore or a library, meet a friend for coffee, see a movie--just get out. You relax and then you will be less stressed and more willing to meet your child's needs.<br><br>
For the weaning question, try reading How Weaning Happens by La Leche League. It helped me understand CLWing, but it also has other ways to wean in it.
 
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