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Im a 22 year old sahm and I love it!! BUT...Im beginning to feel really YUCKY!! I guess its cause my friends(the ones without kids) are buying clothes, geting there hair done, eyebrows ect.<br><br>
Im thinking I want to start going to the gym or something but I feel guilty spending any money until Im bringing some in!<br><br>
Any mamas feel this way...any mamas actually take care of themselves?<br><br>
I truly believe that Ill feel better and be a better mommy.
 

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You MUST take care of yourself in order to be the best mama you can. If you are unhappy or not healthy or fit, you can't give to your dc the same way. If money is the concern (and when isn't it?) maybe try getting some free exercise and companionship by walking with a friend. Do your own nails, but have your fiance "give" you time to do that in the evening BY YOURSELF. THings like that might help you feel better. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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i don't do any of that stuff (nails, hair, ect) but it isn't money<br><br>
it is kinda time<br><br>
but mainly it is -- that stuff means nothing to me.<br><br>
I used to get my nails done when i worked in an office -- but now they'd be mangled so why do it? tehy'd just look worse than mine do.<br><br>
If i spend money is on BOOKS for me or DS. not that i have read a whole book written for teh over 2 set since 05 -- and i don't even get to finsih many of the tot books <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> but that is my item of choise<br><br>
right now i am trying really hard to cut back on maoney -- we both are -- to pay down some debt so that more can be "free" and not tied up. so I am trying not to spend much<br><br>
however -- taking care of ones self does NOT equal spending money.<br><ul><li>talking to my sisters on the phone each day<br></li>
<li>reading my e-mails<br></li>
<li>getting a rare bath alone<br></li>
<li>sleeping in on Saturday when DH and DS have their morning together</li>
</ul><br>
that is all taking care of yourself
 

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I ditto the taking care of yourself does not equal money. That being said - I still know what you mean. I have several sahm friends that spend quite a bit of money. (Ok, they are more aquintances and I hear about the money from DH, who hears it from their DHs)<br><br>
But - I second a lot of the advice you've been given.<br><br>
I feel like I take care of myself by eating well, exercising, sleeping enough, etc. I also have much better days when I shower before DS wakes up in the morning than the days I wait until naptime.<br><br>
We also get out of the house 4 out of 5 days of a week for scheduled activities; mommy and me classes (tues/fri), playgroup (wed) and library toddler time (thurs). So I'm out of the house with other people a lot too - that really helps.
 

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Since having ds I feel sooo frumpy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> Most of the time I'm in a pair of dh's sweats with no makeup on and my hair is in a sloppy pony tail. Alot of it has to do with the fact that I almost never get out of the house so I feel like what's the point? And I'm so busy with ds and housework that getting pretty falls to the wayside. I do want to be pretty for dh, but he 's almost never home anyways. But I guess I sort of have an excuse since I'm 6mo preggo and I don't have much that is flattering to wear... what's the point in a full face of makeup when I'm wearing sweats?<br><br>
Hopefully this is about to change. Dh just sold his house and now we aren't so broke so we're going shopping this weekend, yay! Also he's buying me a car. So with new clothes, makeup, and a car to actually go somewhere in hopefully I'll be motivated to look more presentable.
 

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can you join the YMCA? Much cheaper than the gym and childcare is included. You can work at the desk for a few hours a week to get an even more reduced rate. Or if you are talented, you can teach the group classes <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
I actually started wearing makeup for the first time since high school. Just for myself, so that I'd feel pretty even if I was spending the day mopping floors.<br>
I take a bath alone almost every night! i do that as soon as the kids are in bed and it is my "spa" time. It is only 10 min or so and Dh understands I need it.<br>
this one doesn't sound exciting but it makes a huge difference in my day. I eat breakfast every morning. It reminds me first thing to take care of myself all day!
 

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I don't feel guilty spending a bit of money on myself. I don't go overboard, but I do spend a little. I may not bring in any money, but I contribute to the household every bit as much as DH does. We are a partnership. DH works away a lot, so I don't have much chance for sleeping in or solo baths, but we made do.<br><br>
I usually take 15 minutes in the morning to put on some light makeup and do my hair. DD showers with me, so I get a shower every day. I also try to wear clothes that are at least decent. No sweats, and clothes that fit well and look good. DD and I go to the pool at least twice a week for her to play, but it helps me too. And I think I'm going to start going a bit earlier and use the elliptical machine there. Thursday nights, DD stays with some friends while I go to the pool alone and I either swim laps, do water aerobics, or use the weight room. We also take a babywearing salsa class once a week.<br><br>
I find that if I take care of myself, I feel better about myself and the world. If taking 15 minutes a day to fix myself up puts me in a better mood, then I will be a better mother to DD and we both win.
 

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ITA that it is not whether you spend $$, or whatever- it's doing whatever helps YOU feel recharged and like a "real person" not just a mom. For me it is:<br><br>
1. Taking a shower before DH leaves for work, so that I can be clean all day<br>
2. Wearing real clothes (not sweats) and my shoes (it's a flylady thing, but also my feet hurt otherwise)<br>
3. Going to yoga class once a week & playing in a wind ensemble which rehearses once a week. DH watches DS and it is my "me time"<br><br>
I don't wear makeup, don't do my eyebrows, don't even shave my legs & don't care about those things. But if those were the things that made me feel like a "real person" I'd do them.<br><br>
I think the key is to find a few things that help the most. I used to do a LOT more stuff but obviously with children you become more limited in what you can do.
 

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I do take care of myself. Though I was never into hair and nails and all of that. The money in our house is OUR money. I'm as much a part of the family as my dh who gets the paycheck. We have equal rights to the money for needs or wants.<br><br>
-Angela
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>alegna</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7969139"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I do take care of myself. Though I was never into hair and nails and all of that. The money in our house is OUR money. I'm as much a part of the family as my dh who gets the paycheck. We have equal rights to the money for needs or wants.<br><br>
-Angela</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Well said!
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I do take care of myself. Though I was never into hair and nails and all of that. The money in our house is OUR money. I'm as much a part of the family as my dh who gets the paycheck. We have equal rights to the money for needs or wants.<br><br>
-Angela</td>
</tr></table></div>
I totally agree.<br><br>
Currenlty we are trying to pay off debt, so we are both holding off on a lot of fun personal buying -- not jsut me.<br><br>
and i have not givien up nail and hair a so on -- they never mattered.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Aimee
 

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I take care of myself and I don't understand why anyone wouldn't. We only get one body to live in for however many years we manage to make it.<br><br>
I don't get my nails done because I don't see the point and never have. I don't get my hair done, mainly because I have issues with people touching me, but I color it at home. Right now it's blue <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"> I don't really like spending money on new clothing so I shop at thrift stores first for nicer things, but if that doesn't work out I will buy new. I shower every single day, try to eat fairly well, and exercise at least 3 times/week.
 

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We have a really nice goodwill. It takes time, but I just put the kids in strollers and go to the 3 dollar rack. They have brand name stuff. Taking a shower every day and going on walks help. When people give me money for my birthday I try to spend it on a haircut or new earrings or something.
 

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Well I know how u feel. As for me I used to get my nails done and get highlights all the time. But since we just bought a new house and I am not working not to mention prego. I feel really frumpy. Me staying at home w dd is a blessing but I don't get dressed I don't do my make up or hair. (Although I did break down and get highlights last week) Unless I'm going somewhere I don't feel the need. But at the same time I feel very FRUMPY. Not to mention I don't have anyone here close by to visit or do anything with. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Discussion Starter #15
I broke down and plucked my eyebrows today instead of getting them waxed(I always love the look and the way I feel after BUT hate spending the money)...and then I bought a new bra...and to make things better I got sized and found out the reason my boobs are hanging down to the ground is that I'm wearing the wrong sized bra!! lol!! I got to go up another cup!!!<br><br>
And now that ds is asleep<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> and dh is away at a gig<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Im about to go have a bath!!!(Hopefully I wont run out of hot water lol)..then maybe I'll even paint my toe nails!! hehehe<br><br>
The funniest thing is Ive always liked baths and such but since having ds Ive become more into girly things...I dont get it though!!
 

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I'm a 22 year old sahm too and I completely understand how u feel about your friends and shopping and etc...<br><br>
I used to think the pretty nails, hair, and makeup would be nice to have and was important to do once in awhile...but now I seriously stopped caring...<br><br>
For me, taking care of myself is basically taking a shower every other day, brushing my teeth and washing myself every morning (to wake myself up), get some Starbucks once in awhile, go on a date with DH once a month, remembering vitamins and drink a lot of water during the day, take a nap...<br><br>
I know all of these things seems so basic but it's what helps me be a better mom and taking care of myself.<br><br>
I say enjoy your babies more when they are young because they sure grow up FAST! I have a 20 month toddler and a newborn and I swear my toddler looks enormous next to my baby! Time flies...<br><br>
I look forward to taken care of mysef more later when I'm older and with more free time.
 

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I am in my early twenties too so I understand your feelings... I am still adjusting to motherhood and have been slacking on taking care of myself however I plan to make some major changes once my SO & I move and are a bit more stable...lol!<br><br>
I found a spa that also takes babies and I plan to visit there as often as I can. Also I *need* my yoga so I plan on finding a cost effective way to do this ~ I am considering a highschool babysitter for 2 hours 3-4 days a week so I can do just that. My other option is to join a gym with good childcare and great yoga. ~ Also I get a mani/pedi/eyebrow wax every two weeks and SO watches our dd while I do that.<br><br>
Happy Mama = Happy Baby<br><br>
$$$$ does not equal taking care of yourself but it does help!<br><br>
Pick up a copy of the book HAPPY HOUSEWIVES!
 

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I think with the first baby, it's a lot harder to figure out how to fit this sort of thing in. It took me so long to figure out how to leave the house! But I do take care of myself and have gotten better at it over the years. It's also certainly easier now that I can leave both children at home with my DH for a few hours at a time!<br><br>
Things that I do and have done in the past:<br><br>
- join a discussion group of some sort (I was in great playgroups and a nice LLL with DS1 in a very isolated town, but it was worth it - since DS2 I have an unschooling group, a monthly mothering meeting, birth meetings, midwifery study group, etc.)<br>
- find a hobby (I'm in two Stitch N Bitches)<br>
- yoga<br>
- therapy<br>
- haircuts, etc.<br>
- meeting up with a friend for coffee!<br>
- attending an event (lecture, poetry reading, etc.)<br>
- my once-a-year pedicure<br>
- going to movies (with a wee one sometimes matinees can be swung with the baby)<br>
- chiropractic, massage, reiki treatment<br>
- walking anywhere<br>
- volunteering (I volunteer for our food co-op)<br>
- nights out with DH<br><br>
There are lots of things to do that can help you feel good about yourself!
 

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LoveOhm- I looked up Happy Housewives and there were many books with that title. which author are you referrring to? Thanks!
 

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we are supposed to take care of ourselves to?!? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> ....<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I dye my hair at home when I feel like it, and get a haircut every now and then. I look at the thrift store for new clothes, sometimes buy new stuff on clearance or sale.
 
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