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We us as Sally put him in time out corner but today I put my 3 y.o. in his room to finish his temper tantrum. I've tried to tell him that he has to stay in there til his tantrum is over but I don't think he gets the cocept. How do I teach him?
 

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What exactly are you trying to teach? Tantrums are just a child expressing himself, and some kids do it more than others. It doesn't mean you have to give in. Don't ignore, don't engage; acknowledge the point of his tantrum and drop it as best you can. Some kids will get the picture, if it was a manipulation to get something they want, that a tantrum isn't the way to extra attention or something they want.

But at 3yo, tantrums are just how some kids roll. It's not your job to fix these kids. Pushing it away into a room is a sure-fire way to tell these kids emotions other than happiness are unacceptable, and that won't make the tantrums go away.

Tantrums are also a way of letting us know that maybe we as parents are too distracted or making choices that fulfill our needs and ignore the child's. It doesn't mean we have to cater to them, but we can't fully ignore them either. We have to work with kids, together. Mom needs to get X done, but I'll leave Y for tomorrow. Or, after X, let's read a book and have a snack together and a cuddle, and then I need to make dinner.

Again, some kids are just prone to tantrums with not much midle ground, but for all kids, this is a natural phase, and one that should be worked through with gentleness and understanding and a *whole lotta patience.*

Good luck to you.
 

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Maybe do some research on the concept of time-in as an alternative to time-out. I like www.ahaparenting.com

My nearly-6yo will sometimes tsk herself to her room if she's upset and wants to be alone but it has to be her choice or she is heartbroken. My 3yo would be *devastated* to be banished to her room alone.


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We us as Sally put him in time out corner but today I put my 3 y.o. in his room to finish his temper tantrum. I've tried to tell him that he has to stay in there til his tantrum is over but I don't think he gets the cocept. How do I teach him?
Planned ignoring works better for temper tantrums:

https://www.nemours.org/content/dam...e/health/parenting/tips/13plannedignoring.pdf

Planned ignoring is like a time out in place, without relocating the kid. There is typically no need to relocate the kid. Time out works better if it starts instantly, so just walk away immediately without a word in reaction to the onset of a temper tantrum.

After the tantrum, come back and give the kid positive attention for regaining self control. React immediately with positive attention any other time the kid shows the smallest sign of self-control. This is the most important part of the process. Say specifically what the kid did that was good, not just "good job", include affectionate touch, be as enthusiastic as the kid can stand. Don't caboose criticism on the end, no "but...".


When you start ignoring, the tantrums may get worse for a day or two before things start improving. This called the "extinction burst".

After a week or two of consistent ignoring and reinforcing any sign self control with positive attention, the tantrums will be mostly or completely gone.
 

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After a week or two of consistent ignoring and reinforcing any sign self control with positive attention, the tantrums will be mostly or completely gone.
WHile I generaly agree that not attending to tantrums is helpful and leads to less of them, I just want to put out a caution that some children just struggle more with them (as do some adults! >:D )

The research on temperament, made so highly accessible by the author of Raising Your Spirited Child (Kurcinka) defines a different kind of tantrum called a Spillover tantrum that is very different than a willful tantrum. Spillover tantrums have more to do with sensory overload, fatigue, hunger, but also temperament. It is really important to learn to tell the difference before intervening.
 
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