[ChampagneBlossom]

OK, here's a weird little story. My kids are only 1 and 2 but I've wanted to homeschool them since before they were born. Fair enough. The other day I was out with another mom and her three year old and we ran into a lady at the park. (Not playground, it was a nature park type place.)

The lady turned out to be an older school teacher, and she started chatting with us. Well, not really ME - I was more or less sidelined while my friend talked to her. The lady asks my friend if her son is going to be starting school soon, and she says that she is thinking of homeschooling. I pipe up, "me too" but like I said, I was more or less being ignored.

The lady starts telling us that she's been a school teacher for x many years, and how there's no way we could homeschool, teaching is just too tough and it's too big of a responsibility, and how even with her college degree she had a hard time at first, etc. My friend replies pointedly that neither of her degrees are in childhood education. The lady acts surprised and says, "oh, you went to college? Then I'm sure you could home school successfully. Go ahead. Then she turns to me and says, "But YOU definitely shouldn't." WTF? So then it's my turn to pointedly say that it's true, I had to drop out of my master's teaching program when I became pregnant with my son, and was too ill to continue. After that she left kind of quickly.

At first I was thinking, what, do I look stupid or something? Was she trying to justify her own teaching experience and trying to seem important? Did I just not strike her as someone who went to college? And do you *really* need to go to college to successfully home-school anyway? I'm completely sure that there are MANY home schoolers without degrees. And honestly, what do our non-childhood-education degrees have to do with elementary-level skills, anyway?

I was just shocked at that; is this a common reaction when you tell strangers about homeschooling? Are people really that rude, or was this lady just a weirdo?

 

[sweetstephanie]

Unfortunately, there are people who are really just that rude. I don't understand why but they feel it is their need to tell you exactly what you are doing wrong. Add to homeschooling the fact that you have four kids and you really get comments. I always love the question "Are all of these your kids?"

 

[LilyGrace]

I had a similar encounter in an airport a few weeks ago. I stole a line from the Bitter Homeschooler's Wishlist - You do realize you're pretty much calling me an idiot, right? That I can't have learned enough to teach a 4th grader division? I have to say, it doesn't speak volumes for my public school education if 4th grade is beyond my comprehension level.

She actually laughed and backed down, saying, true, true...and then getting into a more genial discussion about what ds was learning. That, I don't mind. It went back up into "how can you be an expert in all those subjects" and dh looked at her puzzled. "We aren't. But I've never seen an elementary school teacher that is." And I went on to explain that we do have enough resources to find help for those areas that are harder - genuine experts in those fields, online help, college classes..at home doesn't mean HOME learning (hence the reason we were standing in an airport!)

It was interesting, to say the least. She was a retired schoolteacher traveling with her husband and had never met hs'ers so it was more of a curiosity thing than a hateful thing, but the accusatory tone was strange. Thankfully we traveled in seperate sections of the plane. I don't think I could have taken another 6 hours of conversation.

 

[cappuccinosmom]

I have been running into an awful lot of schoolteachers who want to "test" my kids because *obviously* I'm a dunce who's too dumb to teach basic 1st grade.

Actually, in the last couple of months, this has happened 4 times.

:

The last time I had my friend's four boys with me, all under the age of 9. A very nice lady asked why they weren't in school, the boys shouted "we're homeschooled!" So she asked how many quarters in a dollar, what's 5+5, and who's the president.

She seriously had doubts that parents could teach their own children those things???

 

[sapphire_chan]

If I ever meet a lady like that, I'm magically acquiring a masters in education.

I'm afraid I tend to assume that teachers who think parents couldn't possibly teach their own children are lousy teachers themselves.

 

[TortelliniMama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan If I ever meet a lady like that, I'm magically acquiring a masters in education.

I *have* a masters in education, and the advantages it provides to me in terms of homeschooling are only slightly less than those it provided to me while teaching in a school. It was hoops to jump through, mostly.

ETA: It just occurred to me that I might not have been terribly clear in this post. Just in case I confused anybody, I'm not suggesting that having a masters in education helps me homeschool. I'm saying that it also didn't actually help much with teaching in a school, either. Other than getting me a higher salary.

 

[elizawill]

my mother's best friend is a school teacher, and i know she thinks homeschooling is awful. she also thinks preschool is very important and 2 year olds should know the alphabet, etc. we don't really think alike on most issues at all, even down to discipline, lol. but she's not my mom - so i don't care what she thinks (which probably ticks her off even more).

i rarely talk with strangers about homeschooling, but should it come up - it's usually me answering a question: what grade are your kids in? where do they go to school? ...and when i say we homeschool, the conversation either deflates because they think i'm a big weirdo, or they begin to tell me why they could never do that and how brave i am, or something along those lines. sometimes it's really nice, but usually the conversation just ends up awkward and we change the subject quickly. bean dip anyone?

 

[Katwoman]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilyGrace You do realize you're pretty much calling me an idiot, right? That I can't have learned enough to teach a 4th grader division? I have to say, it doesn't speak volumes for my public school education if 4th grade is beyond my comprehension level.

I think I just feel in love with you.

I'm going to steal this.

It's hard when we come up against people like this. So far mine have been school teachers and my MIL. I have a tendency to excuse myself rather quickly. But I really like this response much better.

 

[elizawill]

yea, most college degrees get you a job - but they don't really equip you for it. i have a degree in social work, and felt clueless when i first started in my field. it was experience that trained me - not my degree. i think homeschooling is the same way, i really believe any parent CAN homeschool. and i also believe you can homeschool successfully without a boxed curriculum <<<<gasp>>>>, lol

 

[hotmamacita]

I get that a lot. People makes assumptions all the time. It is really annoying and disruptive to my running errands or enjoying/mothering my children in public.

I do not think it matters whether a woman has a degree or not in her ability to be a wonderful, intelligent, kind and loving mother. If a mother chooses to homeschool her children then her choice should be honored and respected as it would if she chose public or private school.

 

[hotmamacita]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan If I ever meet a lady like that, I'm magically acquiring a masters in education.

Ha ha....

Or magically acquire a PhD in Psychology

...then ask the lady... "why do you feel the need to question other women?"

Seriously, we do not need to lie about who we are. The truth is good. Others can and will struggle with our freedom and our confidence. We really are free to trust our instincts. People do not get bent out of shape if parents feel it is best for their children to attend private or public school.

What if a public school teacher has a mediocre degree? Do they get raked over the coals for their C performance at Unamit U?

I would be honest but also feel free to be kind and walk away if you feel your honesty might only be fodder for a ridiculous line of reasoning on the part of the inquisitor. Some people are genuinely interested in homeschooling or the novelty of it... but some are bent on displaying their own issues and assumptions at others' expense. I would just go on about my business in that latter scenario and not get engaged with it.

 

[sweetstephanie]

My sister is a math teacher and we had just been talking about the stuff the kids were learning in school. My 8 year old came in and asked for a cookie. Amanda was standing there with the box of cookies and said first tell me what 8 times 9 is. She wasn't trying to quiz her, see if she knew what she was doing, just being an aunt. Taylor without blinking said "72, now can I have my cookie?" Amanda just laughed and told her she gave her the answer faster than her high school studentscould have, so she gave her two. LOL! I was so proud and it really proved to my sis, hey they are learning something.

 

[tanyalynn]

OP, I am stunned by the person you encountered. Methinks she has interpersonal issues far beyond her strong opinions about homeschooling, and I'm guessing her comments reflect a lot more about her than you, especially seeing as how she barely interacted with you. Wow.

LilyGrace, thanks for the reminder, I hope I do not need to pull it out anytime soon, but at least it will slide easily off the tongue if I really, really need it.

 

[ChampagneBlossom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TanyaLopez OP, I am stunned by the person you encountered. Methinks she has interpersonal issues far beyond her strong opinions about homeschooling, and I'm guessing her comments reflect a lot more about her than you, especially seeing as how she barely interacted with you. Wow.

You know, that's a good point. She really didn't interact with me at all before making her little comment. It's not like it came after even a few minutes' conversation. I barely got two words in edgewise. I assume she was judging me on appearance (I look young, apparently - as confirmed by a recent poll I posted on MDC) - late teens or very early twenties, perhaps, even though I'm not that young. Oh well. I do think it was a reflection on her rather than on me, but it was still... odd.

I'm a little disappointed that comments like this are relatively common. Not really SURPRISED by still disappointed that a lot of homeschooling parents have to deal with this. This thread just confirmed that suspicion. Guess I have a couple of years to grow a thick skin before the LO's get school age.