[He never cood or smiled or laughed even when I tried really hard to engage him and he avoids eye contact. He has no language skills (now at three) his parents think it is fine, I know someone called cps, they aren't neglectful just not very loving or stimulating kwim?
Has this little boy ever been evaluated for autism or any other kind of developmental disability? I work with kids w/special needs, and this description of this child, the first thing that popped into my head is 'sounds like he might be autistic.'
Kids with autism, some don't like close contact, or only like it if THEY initiate it. In general, they avoid eye contact and social interaction. Many autistic children don't speak, and if/when they do, it's often imitation, not on their own. It's not a result of unloving parenting, though a child with autism who is worked with will, of course, learn more interaction skills than a child with autism who is not.
This child should be evaluated by the school district where he lives--they have people who specialize in identifying developmental delays and helping the kids--there's free preschool and therapy for kids who need it. The younger they get help, the better off they are later. I would fully believe he can be taught to talk, etc. he just needs the right help.