Still so angry

407 Views 4 Replies 5 Participants Last post by umami_mommy, Mar 31, 2006

vikilefay

Discussion Starter · Mar 29, 2006

I lost my baby on Feb 26 2006, at nearly 12 weeks, and I am so so angry. I want to move past feeling so angry, and many people tell me that it is normal to feel so angry. I fell ready to move on in the grieving process, but I just feel stuck in anger mode.

A little history:
This has been the worst 6 months of my life. Since the end of September I have been diagnosed with PPD; had a friend and colleague in a devestating car wreck whose injuries caused his death a month later; another friend and colleauge is slowly losing a brave battle against cancer; financial problems (which, while stressful for practical reasons don't compare to the loss of loved ones);and a major crises within my family.

When I found out I was pg, just after New Years, I was so happy. I felt that it was a sign this was going to be a better year. Things were finally getting better. Then I was assaulted at work, punched repeatedly in the stomach by an angry and aggressive student. Three days later I started to bleed. I will never know if this student's actions caused my loss, but nevertheless, I am filled with so much anger, towards her, her family (she is a product of a very negative environment), etc.

In my head I know the chances of her actions causing my miscarriage are probably farely remote, but because there seems to be no explanation otherwise everytime I see her I think 'did you take away my little girl?' And I think that I am probably just projecting all of my anger onto this one issue, when really I am in a normal stage of grief, because I feel angry about so many other things too, (people saying stupid things, ignoring my loss altogether, etc). So my question is, how did other people move beyond anger?

Thank you for listening,
Viki

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PrinceE&LsMom

· #2 · Mar 29, 2006

Wow you have a lot on your plate right now!! I am so sorry for loss and that you were assaulted!

I was a little over 12 weeks and I am still very angry too. Stupid things really like the fact that I had to go through all that morning sickness and exhaustion for nothing. I know petty but it is still something I am dealing with. I have been getting super frustrated with my kids for no good reason and I know its left over rage boiling in my veins. I don't know what to tell you except know that you are not alone.

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surf mama

· #3 · Mar 29, 2006

I'm so sorry you m/c-ed! And for the other stresses and losses in your life! I really hope this year does get better for you and your family!

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BethanyB

· #4 · Mar 29, 2006

No wonder you are so angry right now! I don't have nearly all the stuff going on as you do, but I am still very angry, also. It's been almost six months since my full term loss. Two months ago, while I was going thru my m/c, my SIL said a few insensitive things to me that in hindsight were no big deal, but she became the focus of my anger. It's better now, but I am still pissed at her. I find myself mad at people who have perfect, healthy little children, if ykwim. I know it's wrong, but... That's the way I am feeling. I would suggest therapy to you, if you can do that. I think it would be good for you to be able to "unload" on someone. You have so much going on, I think it would help. I hope you feel better soon.

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umami_mommy

· #5 · Mar 31, 2006

i am so sorry for your loss mama. you lost your baby right before i did.

i can suggest two different flower essences Star of Bethlehem and/or Willow. both of these Bach remedies should help you right now.

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