[A&A]

Never mind.

 

[A&A]

Never mind.

 

[Sarah]

OK- What I would change is the carbon copy thing... because- you see, the truth of the matter is the the carbon (DNA) copy is INTACT... his CODE is INTACT... to this day your brother still carries the perfect code of his normal intact body which he was born with- and the sex gene- that comes from him- so his son's gender and penis... comes from HIM... his son's intactness and the form of his foreskin- it comes from the father.

The circumcision scar is a carbon copy of the actions of a mutilator- not the carbon copy of the father.

You need to tell him that his son's beautiful body comes from HIM- and a circumcision scar is something that some OTHER MAN puts there when he holds "your" tiny penis in "HIS" hand and bites into it with a clamp...

Men have got to wake up and understand that the circumcision scar is not THEIR verility... it's the mark of their vulnerability. And a man without a circumcision scar is marked by the STRENGTH and ETHICS of his father who did not allow other MEN accss to his child's BODY.

(said with full knowledge that many circumcisers are women- for this example, I think it is best to refer to this other man as he would be a rival for the form of the child over the father)

Love Sarah

 

[A&A]

Thank you for the reply, Sarah. But my dh feels that we have "talked to" them enough and I should just give him the book without the letter. So I have edited my original post.

 

[sahli29]

I thought it was a good letter,and I do feel you should give it.Will you be there for the birthing and the possible circumcision? Will your brother be present(next to his son)for the mutilation? He may get angry over the letter saying it is not your place,but you are only trying to protect that little boy. If he does circumcise will you remain in contact? I doubt I could with my brother. I mean any excuse is lame,but to *look like daddy* is pathetic.
Best wishes for you and that little nephew.
Sara

 

[MonicaS]

I think it was a great letter, too. I would give it to him w/ the book. I guess you guys know what you feel comfortable doing, though.

 

[A&A]

Thank you for the replies. I'm not sure what to do. My dh doesn't want me to "push" them too hard. So, he was willing to talk to my bro, but he doesn't want me to give them a letter. But we're talking genital mutilation here! (I might give them the letter w/o telling my dh.)

I won't be present for the actual birth, but I'll see the babe shortly after. We'll remain in contact whether or not they circ, but it will definitely feel strained. So I guess if I give them the letter and they think that I'm too pushy and that strains things, then that won't really matter, because things will be strained anyway if they circ. So what do I have to lose?

Bro did tell dh that he will read any/all things we want him to about circ. That is good.

But we have a high circ rate and my bro is not the type to go against the tide. (Which makes me all the more appreciative of my dh, who had no problem leaving our son intact)

At least my bro can't say I don't follow my own advice, since I left my own son intact.

I've had "circ failures" before--you know, where you give them a ton of info and they do it anyway. But this is my NEPHEW!

 

[Quirky]

Well, I wasn't quick enough to read your letter but would love to see it if you ever feel like sharing again....as you know dh's brother's wife is pregnant with a boy and my sister is converting to Conservative Judaism and getting married this fall, so I have one definite and at least one potential relative circumcizing. It is so hard!

 

[sahli29]

So I guess if I give them the letter and they think that I'm too pushy and that strains things, then that won't really matter, because things will be strained anyway if they circ. So what do I have to lose?>>>

This is what I thought too.I would tell your dh though.Best wishes.At least you will be able to tell your nephew you did everything possible to save him,and hopefully he will be able to say," TG my parents listened to you and did not mutilate you!"
You could send the regret circ thread,ofcourse leave out the part telling where those parents in the OP circed anyway.

 

[hummingbear]

Oh A&A I missed the original post but the context of it is still clear.

I know you as a really ardent and outspoken opposer of circumcision. And I hear that you are listening really well, wondering what would be the best action or words to wake up someone else to the horror of circumcision.

I think of words my sister gave me years ago:

The only thing a person can do is;
1) show up
2) speak your truth
3) let go of the outcome

OK, I can't remember what or where the 4th thing goes.

Anyway, you have shown up. Do you and DH fear an immediate rejection of your ideas? Is there anyway to speak the truth with so much respect for who they are that they will only feel your words as words of love?

and

to you. It is so hard to keep your heart vulnerable to breaking.

 

[A&A]

Thanks for the hugs, hummingbear!

Dh fears that continuing to "push" them will be "counterproductive." That they might circ just to show me that they can. But, if I don't say anything, they will absolutely circ. So I look at it like, what do I have to lose?

I've decided to give bro a smaller note than I had originally planned, but long enough to give him my final thoughts on this. I have to feel like I did my best. I like your statement about "letting go of the outcome." That is what I will have to do.

 

[Frankly Speaking]

Quote:

Originally Posted by A&A Thanks for the hugs, hummingbear! Dh fears that continuing to "push" them will be "counterproductive." That they might circ just to show me that they can.

People don't circumcise to retaliate against other people. There are many ways they can retaliate against you but this will not be one of them.

Frank

 

[A&A]

Well, I'm not sure it's retaliation he's afraid of, per se. I think it's more like he's just afraid that they will tune us out if we push too hard. But again, what do I have to lose?