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Hey everyone. My son is going to be assessed later this week and I'm really nervous. He looks and acts like a NT but he does do handflapping while pacing back and forth when he's excited. I've been reading everything on the internet and my head is about to explode with all the information. What I've read was, stimming can be re-directed, it can be helped with therapy, it might not be as often, and it can disappear. Can I get some feed back from everyone on their thoughts and experiences. Thank you, Ed.
 

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Well, depends on the purpose of the stim. If your son does it to express excitement or calm himself, you might not want to eliminate it.
 

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What's wrong with hand flapping? Some people are just different. And there is no reason to be nervous over the evaluation. Your son is the same exact person he always was, even if you get a new label to describe his inherent characteristics.<br><br>
If you're happy and you know it, flap your hands<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/energy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Energy">:<br>
If you're happy and you know it, flap your hands<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/energy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Energy">:<br>
If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it.<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy">:<br>
If you're happy and you know it, flap your hands<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/energy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Energy">:<br><br>
A good therapist knows that not all unusual behaviors need to be 'dealt with'.
 

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I am also a believer in only redirecting stims when they're destructive, and many people on this board are, as well. Hand-flapping is just a way that many autistic people show that they are excited or anxious. I hand-flap sometimes (I have Asperger syndrome) and it's not really a big deal. The only stims I would seek to redirect are ones like headbanging (move to a softer surface), intense biting, and cutting. Just the ones that can draw blood and hurt themself or someone else. Stims are used primarily to either calm oneself or to show emotion. It's a form of expression that I don't believe should be repressed. Repressing stims can make those who preform them even more anxious and it can be really frustrating, and even make people become angry and violent.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>acannon</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11630828"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I am also a believer in only redirecting stims when they're destructive, and many people on this board are, as well. Hand-flapping is just a way that many autistic people show that they are excited or anxious. I hand-flap sometimes (I have Asperger syndrome) and it's not really a big deal. The only stims I would seek to redirect are ones like headbanging (move to a softer surface), intense biting, and cutting. Just the ones that can draw blood and hurt themself or someone else. Stims are used primarily to either calm oneself or to show emotion. It's a form of expression that I don't believe should be repressed. Repressing stims can make those who preform them even more anxious and it can be really frustrating, and even make people become angry and violent.</div>
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Ditto this. I finger roll (its like flapping on a smaller scale and only with 3 fingers) when I'm trying to think to prevent distraction or to keep me on task. I also thump (constantly) and occasionally make noises. I don't see any of these as bad things, its how I cope.<br><br>
As a teenager I did do cutting/carving, that was a bad one. I did it to "feel" emotion. That is one I'd redirect.
 

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There are some stims that we do try to find alternatives to or discourage (harming self or others). Hand flapping isn't one that you would generally discourage because there is no harm to self, others, or property. At least that has been our track.<br><br>
However, how old is your child? Lots of young kids hand flap when excited especially or upset. They outgrow it with age. If that is the child's only thing and he is young I bet it's not going to stick anyway.<br><br>
But assessments when they are your first ones and you don't know what to expect are nerve wracking. I remember that. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> It will be ok.<br><br>
If hand flapping is going to stay around for him I think he'll probably figure out when to do it and/or how to do alternative things as he gets older if it bothers him socially speaking.
 

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We have only addressed harmful or destructive stims. Hand flapping isn't one of them. I don't think it is fair to attach shame to a form of expression that is just different, but does no harm.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sbgrace</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11631608"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">There are some stims that we do try to find alternatives to or discourage (harming self or others). Hand flapping isn't one that you would generally discourage because there is no harm to self, others, or property. At least that has been our track.<br><br>
However, how old is your child? Lots of young kids hand flap when excited especially or upset. They outgrow it with age. If that is the child's only thing and he is young I bet it's not going to stick anyway.<br><br>
But assessments when they are your first ones and you don't know what to expect are nerve wracking. I remember that. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> It will be ok.<br><br>
If hand flapping is going to stay around for him I think he'll probably figure out when to do it and/or how to do alternative things as he gets older if it bothers him socially speaking.</div>
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Thanks everyone for your response. My son is will be 3 in August. He only flaps when he's excited. Sometimes he flaps and walks back and forth and when he's sitting, he'll just flap his hands. Thanks everyone again.
 

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I have flapped when really excited my entire life. I don't think the average person even realizes it's weird or indicative of autism/sensory issues (it's not always autism, my dh and ds2 flap, although dh VERY rarely, and neither of them is on the spectrum.) When I was in college, I had friends tell me they thought it was so cute how I looked like I was trying to fly away when I got really excited. LOL. My point is that I really don't think there's any kind of social stigma associated w/ flapping.
 

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when our son flapped his hands, my husband would get so embarrassed in public. Until we did our research and got educated about WHY he needed to stim in the first place. Now we don't even notice it. Its just part of Jayce <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
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