[Nox]

i don't know if this is the right place for this thought either, but since i posted in not yet mamas and got no responses, i thought i'd try elsewhere.<br><br>
i got pretty involved with someone starting about six months ago. when i met this person i'd been ttc as a single do-it-yourselfer. there was never a plan for immediate conception with this person, as they were not at a point in their life where they could take on the parent role and i didn't want to spring that on someone in a dating process (yes i really like you but how do you feel about becoming a parent in the next two weeks or so? that kind of thing). but my feelings led me to hold off, in an attempt to not squelch something that maybe had potential maybe didn't. i didn't go so far as to start taking birth control, but i considered it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/disappointed.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="disappointed"><br><br>
about three weeks ago i stopped seeing this person, and i'm now struggling with do i pick up where i left off in the single mom by choice ttc game? i didn't start ttc on my own because i was running out of time in a fertility sense, but instead because i am what i like to think of as extraordinarily independent (read obstinate, possibly very stubborn and impatient) and felt like getting my family started sooner rather than later.<br><br>
this recent experience, along with watching some of my friends do the date, mate, and procreate path has led me to question whether i should hold off indefinitely in search of an ideal mate, or if my impatience and long-standing baby fever have the right idea of just starting up again and if a great partner comes along then fine, but if not, we've begun the babymaking and that's right on time.<br><br>
has anyone dealt with similar situations or have any relevant advice?<br><br>
tia,<br><br>
nisha

 

[Lousli]

I think, if I were in that situation, I would consider some factors and plan accordingly. First I'd think about age. If you are nearing the end of your easily fertile period, you might want to go ahead and try. I'd think about success and length of past relationships. I have a close friend in your shoes, but she hasn't really had a relationship with anyone that has lasted longer than a few months, and really has a fear of commitment. I'd think about logistics, like finances, childcare, breastfeeding/pumping at work, taking maternity leave, what you might do in case of a complicated pregnancy or need for bedrest. If you feel like everything is pointing towards having a baby, go for it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> If you do meet a fantastic partner later, he/she would hopefully be on the same page as far as being a parent, and might be able to be a positive influence (and possibly later a parent to) your child.