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(i know it's probably my fault for venting at all to people who will not support my choice to feed on demand, but lordy...i didn't know it was a revolutionary act! it's what AAP says to do, and my LCs at the local hospital!)

DD had her 6 week growth spurt this week, and i was going loony with how much she was eating, and how little she was sleeping. i mentioned something to my mother about how DD was having her growth spurt, and how it was hard on me, and she said, "i never noticed anything like that with you." well, okay, i know for a fact she BF all of us on a schedule because as she says "everyone did that back then." (uh, no, DH's mom BF him on demand; he works with women who fed on demand "back then," but whatever.)

then she told me i should stop giving DD the boob every time she is fussy. why should i stop? granted, if she just ate, i try some other things first to see if that's what's making her fuss (diaper change, change of scenery/position, playing a little), but sometimes even though she ate an hour ago, or even more recently, she is comforted by the boob. is it annoying? sometimes, yes. but it sure beats trying everything but the kitchen sink to console her when all she wants is to latch on for a bit!!!

my mom said, "you're feeding her too much. you don't want her to end up a 2 year old that you have to feed snacks in the middle of the night. that happens, you know. try distracting her. play a game or something."
:

how the f%@*& do you "play a game" with a 6 week old?

please, just tell me that offering the boob when she is fussy is OKAY, even if she is not REALLY starving, even if she only eats for 8 minutes and then falls asleep!! i need someone to be on my side
 

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I'm on your side. I do the same with my little guy,feed on demand. It was driving me loony a few weeks ago, I didn't think I could go on,but I persevered and stuck with it. My little man is 3 months and weighs 16 pounds....he's a little tank. He is a snacker as well, he will eat for a bit and then maybe an hour or 2 goes by and he's ready to eat again. He also likes to be comforted by nursing, so at night it seems Like i am feeding him so much, but I know that he is the type of baby, who likes to fall asleep with a boob in his mouth. I hope it will pass, but if not, so be it. NOthing makes me feel better than knowing that my child is healthy all because of my beautiful rich milk.
 

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Stop complaining to your mom. She may think she is helping, or that you need a solution. But she's giving bad advice and it could lead to bigger arguments later in your relationship. You are doing the right thing. Good for her for at least breastfeeding.
 

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My mum tried to get me to pace out feedings to no more than 3 hrs. That was the advice in their day, I think. She did bf me but only for 9 weeks because I did not gain enough weight (probably because of the scheduling) She had never heard of a growth spurt either. I didn't listen
 

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Keep doing what you're doing.

Just because she doesn't remember it that way doesn't mean it didn't happen. it's been a couple decades or so since she had a newborn, right?

The 6-week growth spurt was hard for us, too, but it was over in a couple days - hang in there!

Listen to your heart, and listen to your baby, but try not to listen to anyone telling you "you're doing it wrong" - even if it is your own mother!
 

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nak

many grown men would like a boob for a little comfort!
surely a babe is allowed...

i had a nurse at the hospital tell me my first night with dd that i was nursing too much, she wasn't getting any milk anyway and we didn't want me to get sore nipples.

ummm. one can avoid sore nipples the first couple days of bf??? by feeding LESS?!? riiiiiight. i actually listened to her... for like an hour, then came back to my senses and resumed nursing on demand.
 

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Always amazes me that those that actually never nursed a baby or only only for a very short amount of time seem to know everything about it.
:

My mum is like that too and my MIL (who will be here any minute now...) always asks in disbelieve "so you really thing he wants to eat again??"
: Irks me without end. I am DS mom and I have a sense when he wants booby. I am holding this babe 18 hours a day, I know when boob works. If they don't want boob they don't want it, there is not forcing a baby, I wished people would finally get that. I also wished it would finally sink in that breastfeed babies, especially the really little ones don't know a 3 hour schedule... Mine ate ALL DAY LONG. Marathon nursing up to 14 hours, I was lucky to get a 20 Minute break here and there.

Sometimes I get so friggin sick of being the patient, walking "Breastfeeding Encyclopedia" that explains breastfeeding to EVERYONE, because everyone has an opinion is usually not shy of voicing their opinion.
 

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I've heard this a few times, too, and I totally hear you about how frustrating it is.

I don't know if this is your first time BFing, but it is mine, and it's really hard to have to defend my methods and maintain confidence that I'm doing the right thing. I mean, it seems I have to make explanations for the simple fact that I'm even BFing at all, let alone the fact that I'm feeding on demand!

Geez...even my MIL (who is an ob nurse) says some of the stupidest things and it makes me want to scream. For instance, she commented the other day, after I'd been feeding DD (2 weeks old) for about 20 minutes, that I was really just being a "human pacifier" since the breast is "emptied" after 15 minutes of nursing.

Uh, no. The breast is not like a bottle with a limited, finite supply of milk for each feeding. Oh, and uh, if you know anything at all about establishing a solid supply--especially with such a young baby--you know that extended nursing helps with milk production and maintaining a healthy supply.

Good grief.

I feel your frustration. Sorry you're having to deal with it, too.
 

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DD just went through this last week! One person told me to ignore her (WHAT?!) and another told me to supplement. Um...NO. I offered the boob everytime she wanted and she was fine, I am fine and she is much better this week. It gets better...really!
 

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I nursed Joe on demand & he does NOT wake up in the middle of the night for snacks.
That is ridiculous!

You are the mommy, you know your baby best, for sure. Don't let anyone put doubts in your head. Nurse whenever & wherever baby wants!!!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by alegna View Post
It's fine to offer the boob for everything. If they don't want to nurse- they won't nurse.

-Angela
:

Stop venting to your mother, and vent on here instead.

When you're feeling stronger/less hormonal/less sleep deprived, talk to her about how you'd like her to talk to you- just listen but not make suggestions, not give unsolicited advice, avoid giving dire warnings that you'll ruin your kids if you don't parent exactly the way she did, etc. You need to set limits with her, but during this stressful time for you may not be the best time to do that.
 

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We've been feeding on demand (cue, whatever) for almost 15 months, and everything has turned out how it is supposed to be. Baby boy is at a good weight and height, and he's happy and healthy. He wakes a few times during the night to eat, but he puts himself to sleep at a good time, and goes right back to sleep after eating. So I think you're on the right track!
 

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Okay, first, RootSnort, I have to say that I LOVE your name.

Now, back to the regularly scheduled program...

Feeding on schedule is the perfect recipe for disaster for a new mom establishing a milk supply. On the other hand, nursing on demand as often and as long (or frankly, short) as the baby needs at any given time is the perfect way to ensure that your milk will be plentiful, and there whenever the baby needs it in the future. My 5 yo dd was a serial nurser when she was a baby. She nursed every twenty minutes from sun up to sun down. It was a little different at night...then she just latched on at sundown and didn't let go till morning!


My MIL used to say to me, "didn't you JUST Feed that Child? (this was from the time dd was hours old until she weaned...) I only breastfed MY babies every four hours. WHEN are you going to WEAN her, anyway?" *sigh* with my SON (18 mos later) I finally went on-line and printed out some hand-outs with info from the AAP, the WHO, unicef, whatever I could get my hands on, on establishing a milk supply, and just finally handed it to her the first time she opened her mouth about the way I nursed. Funny, but she never said another word about it.

The biggest suggestion I'd make is to seek out a support system. Find your local LLL group...I promise that, the first time you vent about a growth spurt, they WON'T suggest you wean/schedule your feedings/ignore the baby/supplement (choose the nay-sayer in your life's favorite...)! They will, perhaps, listen sympathetically with knowing eyes, possibly make suggestions as to what worked to help them get through to the other side, though...like staying in bed and being waited on while they nursed, nursed, nursed...like going to visit a friend with a baby in the same stage of life, who doesn't care if you whip your boob out every twenty minutes...like wearing the baby in a sling, to make it easier to get on with your life if you need to, and still facilitate the baby nursing all they need to nurse. I had a GREAT support system in my mom's side of the family when my kids were born...it was actually when they were older nurslings that I sought out LLL, because at a year or so, my experience was out of that family's scope of understanding. Then, LLL was like HOME!

Too, post here. There are lots of knowledgeable mamas who are happy to just listen and offer hugs or advice that is conducive to continuing to breastfeed.


You'll get through!
 

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It is impossible for your baby to be manipulative at this age, and you are not spoiling her by giving her the boob when she is fussy. I can sympathize, I heard the same thing from my MIL and it drove me battty. She would make comments like: "Do you think she's hungry or just messing around?"
You are doing everything you are suppose too. Babies need the comfort and reassurance of nursing even when they aren't hungry. It is what makes them feel comfortable and safe. Also when my DD was going through growth spurts it seemed like she was constantly nursing, those were long days but they soon passed. Hang in there mama, and keep nursing on demand, it is the best thing for her.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by alegna View Post
It's fine to offer the boob for everything. If they don't want to nurse- they won't nurse.

-Angela
You and I disagree on various things, but in this case I really have to say thanks for putting it so clearly, truly and succinctly.

What she said. Nurse them as much as they want. It's all good.
 

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On demand is the way to go! Happy baby, happy mama. If mama ain't happy... you know the drill. Telling you you're nursing too often is like telling an adult they eat too many nutritious vegetables in their diet, and that they should combat their hunger and boredom with some cheetoes or other less nutritious option. You really can't go wrong with mom's milk!
 
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