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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
DS, 4, is too nervous to eat lunch at school, but I send him with a sweet, healthy snack that I make to eat with the other kids so he does not feel left out. I explain to him that is his one sugar for the day(OK, well, it has raw, organic honey in it but still, that's my rule). I work VERY hard to ensure he does not get any refined white sugar, among other processed foods, or I end up with a complete maniac who will not listen to anything if he does get it.<br><br>
Just yesterday I asked what they had for a snack and he went into an elaborate detailed report of this chocolate cookie. Obviously store bought and not something that I would ever allow.<br><br>
I proceeded to ask him if he remembered me telling him that the snack I sent him with was his one sugar. Yes, he understood. Then I asked him if he remembered to tell the teacher he already had the his sugar for the day and if they had anything else. He gave me that mischevious smile and said no.<br><br>
He of course is not the one to blame here, although I do wish he would have told them he already had his one sugar. Being a teacher or a school organization I would think they would want to provide the kids with a healthy snack like fruit, veggies, or even cheese. The parents are allowed to bring snacks in providing they bring enough for everyone else, but who can afford to do that everyday?<br><br>
How do I bring this up nicely, tactfully? I do not want to seem rude or offensive. And I also understand that I am probably the ONLY parent who may have a problem with the snack choices. Huh, <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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Can you get his doctor involved? Maybe have the doctor write a note saying that he has to be careful with sugar for health reasons, so he is only to eat food that you provide or that is known to not have sugar.
 

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Most teachers aren't able to get away from their class for long enough to chop up a tray of veggies, and store-bought veggie trays are prohibitively expensive. Crackers or dried fruit are probably a more work-able solution. MAYBE baby carrots or something, but only if there's (a) a pretty big snack budget, and (b) a refrigerator in the classroom or someone to go fetch the snack. Suggesting something that's similarly easy and inexpensive (like dried fruit) is probably more work-able as an in-class (as opposed to served by food service) snack.
 

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don't feel bad about calling the teacher or stopping by to see her to let her know that you don't want your son to have cookies or refined sugar, keep it simple and you don't have to go into the reasons why, just say that your family eats a healthy diet with no refined white sugars, ____, ____, (if there are other things not on your diet) and that you do not want your son to be offered cookies and candy and ____.<br><br>
To be 4 years old and offered a chocolate cookie and be able to refuse it may be too much for your son right now, for the adult in charge to not offer it would be the best solution. I'd go talk to her though because unless you let her know your feelings it will most likely happen again and again..... better to try and stop something before it becomes a problem.<br><br>
FWIW, we do let our kids have refined sugars but I totally understand where you are coming from and really applaud you for your effort! I would not be offended or feel you were being rude in anyway if you came to my house and said, please don't feed my son sugar <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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You might ask the teacher if you can provide a stash of healthy snacks for your son. That way in the future if there's a sugary snack, you son doesn't have to go without, but can have a snack too.
 

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Home made goodies(cookies,cupcakes other snacks made at home) to be shared are not allowed at my DDs schools. Anything brought in for the class has to be store bought.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks for the suggestions<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I understand the cost issue for veggies and fruits, but having a cookie one day, a cupcake the next, and then another cookie just seems a bit excessive to me. (not to judge, but some of those kids REALLY don't need any more sweets, a healthy snack would really benefit them) Maybe I am over reacting. Not to mention, I'm sure the kids are a little harder to handle after all that sugar, then times it by tweleve(it's a small class) and that's a much bigger headache than just one child.<br><br>
The thing I have with store bought cookies and such is that they all have unfermented soy and hydrogenated oils in them(this is more of a nutrition thing on my end). I just wish I could send him in with his own snack and not have to provide all of the others with it as well(that probably seems selfish).<br><br>
The doctors note may work, I'll see that he has to say about it.<br><br>
The reason why I send him with something sweet in the first place is because of his nervousness about eating actual food around the other kids(he's afraid of puking). The teacher was talking to him and thought I could send him with candy, like actual candy. I was a little surprised that she would even suggest that in the first place, so was DH. I agreed that sending him with a treat might work to ease him back into eating lunch with the other kids, but I didn't tell her I would be making it, not buying it<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
In the past he has told people he cannot have another sweet because he already had it. He has proven to me in the past he is capable of self discipline in this area, but I TOTALLY understand if he accepts it. A teacher is giving it to him and everyone else, of course he going to eat it!<br><br>
I don't know, maybe if I talk with the other parents they might want to do a snack sharing thing where we rotate the days and what we bring in. That seems like a good solution.<br><br>
Thanks for letting me ramble on!!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Jojo F.</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9863602"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Not to mention, I'm sure the kids are a little harder to handle after all that sugar, then times it by tweleve(it's a small class) and that's a much bigger headache than just one child.</div>
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In my experience the VAST majority of people just don't make that connection. Kids are so hopped up on sugar all the time, they just think that's the way kids are.
 

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I agree with the importance of having healthy snacks, and most kids these days could use something good in their systems versus all of the junk food, which is unfortunately so cheap that many people can only afford to buy these items - when is the last time you saw "decent" frozen meals 5 for $10 like you do frozen pizzas? Four years old is a great time to enforce and teach healthy eating habits, but it also seems too young to be stressed about what you are eating (you didn't say whether or not he won't eat lunch because of allergies or because he's afraid the food will taste so bad that he'll get sick). I have avoided partially hydrog. foods and keep the refined sugars to a bare minimum for years and years, but I'm not sure if I'd get too upset about this, at least while he is so young. Maybe you stop sending your sweet option even though it's healthier and let him have that one sugary treat a day, or keep sending the option and let him choose what sounds best to him at the time? Or, maybe talk with the teacher and find out if they can provide some baby carrots or suggest that for parents who bring in snacks, that a healthy snack is something valued more than sugar. Another possibility would be to donate a popcorn popper (one that doesn't need oil) and then parents could provide bags of kernals to pop. Maybe you let him have the provided snacks for a small period of time and see what his response is - at some point, I would bet that he turns back to your snack because he gets sick of eating such sugary items, and most store-bought items don't taste as good as the snacks mom cooks up!<br><br>
I would work to see if you can find a suitable compromise so in the future, he won't be tempted by the sugar treats enough to hide them from you - that whole trading the yogurt for the twinkie idea that some kids get!<br><br>
Anyhow, kudos to you're working so hard to put healthy food into his system!!
 

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At this age it's up to you as the parent to let the teacher know of his dietary restrictions. My youngest is 5 and in kindergarten and there are kids in her class who have parents that told the teacher they can't have dairy, sweets, peanuts, chocolate, whatever. Some kids are really good about telling the other parents and the teacher and reminding them but other kids are more sneaky and want the snack anyway so they don't tell them. The teacher knows which kids can and can't have whatever foods and is great about keeping up with it. However, it's up to the parents to make sure the teacher knows.<br><br>
You can't get upset that some other parent brings the snacks to school. Not all parents want to restrict this stuff. I think it's great that you do it. But you can't blame others for not knowing your child can't have it if you don't make sure it's known first.
 

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I don't think your 4 year old ds would have the ability to tell the teacher his home rules or have the maturity to go by the honor system. Perhaps you should let the teacher know you have him on a particular diet to avoid behavior issues he'll have. (She'll only thank you!!)<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">: But maybe you could suggest pretzels. Perhaps the mothers could volunteer to bring in snacks that are healthy.
 

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at my son's school I found out they gave the fruit loops for snack the other day. disgusting. We're planning to move him to another school anyway so I'm not sure I'm going to make a big deal about it, but it makes me feel gross. I suspect am not nearly as strict about diet as the original poster, but I've learned that what I think is shockingly inappropriate other people do as a matter of course. And its not just teachers, parents pack lunch for their kids and I've seen 3-year-old kids with TWO boxes of gatorade to drink, kids eating a piece of pound cake, fruit leather and a "gogurt" for their lunch, etc. Lots of little candy snacks, cookies, "cereal" bars. I am sure I'm preaching to the converted here but there is just no reason a preschooler needs that in their lunch.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I understand thinking that he would have the maturity to tell the teacher about the rules I have is expecting too much. He's only 4.<br><br>
I just wanted some input to make sure I don't sound rude bringing it up. For a fact, I know I am probably one of the strictest parents in the that school about food. One mom was boasting about the fact that her son could eat a whole large can of Spaghetti O's. Blach!!<br><br>
The reason why I send him with something sweet in the first place is because of his nervousness about eating actual food around the other kids(he's afraid of puking). He has no allergies, lucky him. But for some reason snack time does not bother him, even when they have pretzels.(unfortunately they are not the kind I would give him)<br><br>
I'll just mention something about the sugery snacks and try to work out some sort of compromise. I'm not even going to worry about the crackers and such and maybe offer to bring in a healthy snack one day a week. At least I know what he gets at home is healthy and the portion of unhealthy stuff at school will not really amount to much.
 

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That sounds like an excellent plan. This way too, he won't have to worry about what he's eating and whether it's 'ok". He sounds sensitive and the less he has to worry about the less likely he feel like throwing up. Some kids are very sensitive and need less, not more to worry about, kwim?<br><br>
We eat nearly 100% organic, whole and healthy at home-- we have a big garden, easy availabily to good food in winter, and we raise pastured, organic chickens for egs etc. We're very committed to pure food. However, I've never noticed my children's behaviour change with a a bit of sugar, even if everyday...as sometimes happens at holidays and family gatherings. I do notice some low blood sugar issues if they haven't had enough protein...but nothing a hardboiled egg or a scoop of hummus cant' handle. . I also make sure my kids (well, some are older, so I am not so careful with them, obviously) have quality food in the morning if they are going off to activites etc. Same for holidays. A healthy, good shot of potein and other good things helps them not be too hungry or crave a lot of sweets. But I don't (never really did) worry about snack at preschool or hsing event etc. It's really not much food. Little children are far more interested in chatting and playing than eating.<br><br>
And I am not sure, since I do not buy them, but I think a can of Spaghettios is no more than 1/2 cup ( or less). It's really not much of anything.<br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Jojo F.</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9901721"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I understand thinking that he would have the maturity to tell the teacher about the rules I have is expecting too much. He's only 4.<br><br>
I just wanted some input to make sure I don't sound rude bringing it up. For a fact, I know I am probably one of the strictest parents in the that school about food. One mom was boasting about the fact that her son could eat a whole large can of Spaghetti O's. Blach!!<br><br>
The reason why I send him with something sweet in the first place is because of his nervousness about eating actual food around the other kids(he's afraid of puking). He has no allergies, lucky him. But for some reason snack time does not bother him, even when they have pretzels.(unfortunately they are not the kind I would give him)<br><br>
I'll just mention something about the sugery snacks and try to work out some sort of compromise. I'm not even going to worry about the crackers and such and maybe offer to bring in a healthy snack one day a week. At least I know what he gets at home is healthy and the portion of unhealthy stuff at school will not really amount to much.</div>
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