[doctorjen]

Sigh. Can I just vent a little here?<br>
My last few births have all been very mainstream clients who truly want a painless labor - preferably on the day they pick so as not to inconvenience anybody in their lives.<br>
Today was another one. A primip, at 41 weeks, who insisted on induction. She was very favorable to start, and had her baby 5 hours and 14 minutes after pitocin was started, with just 14 minutes of pushing. She got her epidural the minute I said she could, and felt absolutely nothing during pushing and birth. The baby is gorgeous, the mama is happy, her family is thrilled they could schedule their work schedules around the birth, but I can't wait for somebody to labor who wants the kind of good support I can give!<br>
My next due is actually 3 days over now, and she is planning an unmedicated birth, so wish me luck on that one anyway.<br>
I'm all for choices in birth, but I secretly love the mamas who question everything I suggest, and insist on doing things their way, and give in to the primal energy of birth and breathe, walk, moan, dance, and grunt their way through a relatively unintervened birth.<br>
One of my favorite mamas is due at the end of the month, too. She is my first 3-peat customer (I've practiced here 4 years) and this will be actually her 4th baby. I caught her last baby kneeling on the floor as she squatted on the bed, after doing most of her pushing standing and leaning over the bed. She says this is her last baby no matter what, and she's not sure she's going to get in the bed at all. So I'm looking forward to trailing after her later this month!

 

[Jane]

Sometimes I think it's not about "now". Maybe it's about her next baby, or her sister, or maybe even about something in that baby's future.

 

[doctorjen]

Yeah, I know. I just don't get why other docs can convince people into all kinds of uncalled for interventions, and I try to explain every risk and side effect, and folks still want these things.

 

[Jane]

Because they have the upper hand before they begin. It has nothing to do with childbirth. People want something over nothing. They are offering something - you are offering them a more minimal experience.<br><br>
I think there's also a one-upmanship. Having a lot done to you is like the full-day package at the spa. I only want a manicure, but it sounds better to have the "full treatment" even though I didn't want a brazilian wax and high colonic therapy.

 

[ldsapmom]

(((hugs))) Jen, if you were in my area I would go to you in a heartbeat, and that's saying a lot 'cause I am such a midwife-lover, lol.

 

[alegna]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I don't think I could do that- watch people make poor choices for selfish reasons (it's bad enough to watch my sil parent that way... ggrrr)<br><br>
Look on the bright side- maybe it means that all the questioning/educated women are happily having their babies at home!<br><br>
-Angela

 

[Storm Bride]

I'm sorry, doctorjen. I'm not an obstetrics or midwifery professional in any way at all, but I can imagine how frustrating this is. I find it frustrating enough as a woman and mother when people tell me all about how wonderful all these things (epidurals/c-sections) are - while I desperately want to avoid them. I hope you get some clients soon who are more in tune with your philosophy.

 

[indie]

My doctor for my first birth was a lot like you. I knew nothing at all when I got pregnant and I know that I wouldn't have had my good natural birth without IV etc. without her. I wanted to try without the epidural but was really afraid and didn't know what I needed to do to acheive that and I know that I wouldn't have stood up well if I would have had to have been adversarial in order to get it. I think for people like me who are on the fence you would be a great doctor. My doctor had a link about cloth diapering on her website which lead me to read more about that and eventually lead me to find websites like MDC that have influenced my parenting decisions. I've also decided to have a homebirth this time. We've moved out of state so I couldn't use the same doc. anyway. These are all ways that my doctor influenced me but she has no idea because I've never bothered to tell her. Chances are that you'll never get to see all of the ways that you've influenced your clients.

 

[bradley method mom]

you are soooooo cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish allllll OBs were like you!!!!!!!!!

 

[doctorjen]

pssst . . .<br>
I'm not an OB, I'm a family doc who attends a fair number of births.

 

[Storm Bride]

Hey - I wish my family doctor were more like you. Oddly enough, both my male doctors (my old family doctor) and my OB seemed more understanding about all my birth-related emotional issues than my female doctor does.

 

[Zoo Loo Naturals]

Good points from Apricot!

 

[RedPony]

Jen, I too, would go to you in a heartbeat! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> Would you consider moving to my neck of the woods?? :LOL<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Apricot</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think there's also a one-upmanship. Having a lot done to you is like the full-day package at the spa. I only want a manicure, but it sounds better to have the "full treatment" even though I didn't want a brazilian wax and high colonic therapy.</div>
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As someone who is doing a TON of research, investigation, and question asking about pregnancy & birth, this statement really rings true to me. I can't tell you the number of accounts I've heard that have this tone. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> It's really disturbing to someone who is just beginning to think of TTC. A person starts to think that THIS attitude is the norm.

 

[stayinghome]

I have had a handful of doula clients like that too, which is ironic to me becuase I had thought only "natural" people would hire doulas. I've seen middle/upper class clients look at me as one more thing they can buy to complete their birth package.<br><br>
At first I was a little irate about it, but you know, I help them through their birth even if it is just holding their hand while the epi gets put in or fetching Grandma from the waiting room or getting food or taking photos. If they want an extra set of hands and want to pay me, so be it.<br><br>
I know how you feel. You'll get a really neat natural birth very soon! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">

 

[loved]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>doctorjen</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm all for choices in birth, but I secretly love the mamas who question everything I suggest, and insist on doing things their way, and give in to the primal energy of birth and breathe, walk, moan, dance, and grunt their way through a relatively unintervened birth.</div>
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I say, quit keeping it a secret!!<br>
Tell them. Tell them all!