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I have a ridiculous situation going on.<br><br>
I have been involved in the Girl Scouts for the last few months. I've been training to become a leader and the local service unit is forming a troop for me. This was something I got involved with for a few reasons: 1) I need volunteer hours to apply to pharmacy school, 2) I thought my dsd would enjoy being a Girl Scout and will learn a lot from the experience 3) I was a Girl Scout growing up and loved it.<br><br>
In order to have a troop, you need two leaders. DSD's mom has felt bad in the past when she felt that she wasn't included enough in things, so I thought about asking her if she was interested in co-leading. DH was going to see her at DSD's swimming lessons the night I had this idea, so I asked him to bring it up to her.<br><br>
When he came home, he said something to the effect of "She said you should call her." The look on his face said that she clearly was not interested. I asked him if she was actually interested. He said something like, "I don't know if she is that interested, but give her a call."<br><br>
I figured that this is one of those times where someone says you should call them but hopes you don't. I didn't want her to feel pressured or feel bad about saying no, so I didn't call her. I figured I'd save us both an awkward conversation.<br><br>
I did, however, go over to her house one day after a training event (she was watching DS), and she mentioned that she had been a leader in the past and made a few cracks about it. I got the feeling that she was not all that enthused about Girl Scouts. I figured if she was really interested, she would have asked if I was still looking for a co-leader instead of making sarcastic comments.<br><br>
Fast forward to least week. At their parent meeting, she tells DH that she is offended that I never asked her to be a co-leader.<br><br>
I call her and leave a message, telling her that our wires must have gotten crossed and that I got the impression from DH that she wasn't all that interested. If she is interested, she should call me. She doesn't call me. When she comes to pick up DSD on Sunday night, she says nothing to me about it.<br><br>
On Monday, when DH calls her about something unrelated, she gets mad at him for telling me that she wasn't interested. Apparently, he wasn't supposed to tell me that she wasn't interested. Also, I guess she was making fun of Girl Scouts to him, and he wasn't supposed to tell me that (which he didn't), but she assumed that he did.<br><br>
This is so annoying. I probably just should have bypassed DH in the first place - I didn't think this would become such a mess. I am at the point now where I think that she didn't really want to have any involvement, but wanted to get offended about something. Now everything is going to be all awkward. I want to say something to her to smooth things over, but I don't know what to say. Especially since she chose not to call me back. I should probably just not say anything. I'll have to make sure I schedule meetings during our weeks. Sigh.
 

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Wow... how childish can your DH's ex get? Geez....<br><br>
I'd ignore her... remember the source, hon. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> She thrives on drama and is utilizing this new thing to create some. I honestly wouldn't worry about her.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I would call... Maybe just calling and telling her what you thought would help get her to drop off DSD for the meetings?<br>
Sorry she sounds like she needs some drama right now.
 

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It sounds like indirect communication got you into this mess, so try direct communication to clear the air. I would call one more time and say very clearly something like this: I'm sorry I didn't communicate directly with you. It seems like it caused some misunderstandings. If you want to be a co-leader, please call me by [xxx day]. If I don't hear from you by then, I will go ahead and ask someone else. I would love to find a way for you to still be involved if you want to be, so if you decide not to co-lead, I will let you know whenever opportunities arise for you to be involved.<br><br>
I think it is important to own the part of this miscommunication that is yours, give clear parameters for the response you need, and let her know what will happen if she choses not to reciprocate with the direct communication. Then do it. If there is drama beyond that, you know that it is not something you caused, but something that she needs... at that point it is about her, so you can safely let her deal with it.<br><br>
That's my opinion, anyway!
 

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Aricha is so smart.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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Wow. That was confusing to read, much less experience, I'm sure! I agree with what Aricha said - talk to her and clear the air.
 
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