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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This year my DH's brother moved in with us for the entire spring and most of the summer. He didn't pay rent or pay for groceries though he did occaisionally buy us all take-out, he idid pay for cable which we enjoyed but did not previously have or have now that he moved, it just isn't nescessary and we can't afford it. He decided to cash out his "trust fund' of $3000 when he lived with us and gave me $500 which he said he was giving us for living in our apartment for free because I needed a down payment for my midwife. I stupidly said I would try to pay him back when we got our tax return next year and he insisted that no I shouldn't pay him back. OK fast froward to now when the midwife has abandoned her practice due to threatened prosecution from the state I live in for practising without a liscense and has told me she will give us a partial refund on the deposit back (though this was over a month ago and I haven't heard from her or seen a check yet). My BIL is broke and living in Fl now and he and my MIL keep calling my DH asking if the deposit is here yet and when we can mail it to him, EXCUSE ME, WTF... I thought when I finally accepted the $ (which I actually was reluctant to take) the understanding was that it was for living in our apartment and eating our food (which I cooked) and that I did not have to pay it back. My DH keeps getting mad at me because he is being put into the middle of this. He doesn't understand that I really don't think think of this as a loan or even a gift, I consider this a payment. What do you guys think?
 

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I think that he should have given way more than $500 for several months' worth of room and board. You certainly can't charge him "back rent" at this point- but neither should you refund him that money he gave you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thank you that was my point. If I am wrong people please feel free to point it out. I just don't think i am. I think my BIL and MIL are trying to say because he paid for cable he *was* paying for rent which i think is bullsh!t.
 

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If cable was one of your regular expenses, and he covered that, then that would count as a sort of rent. But you didn't have cable before he moved in and you don't have cable now that he's moved out- so basically he paid for cable so he'd have it for his own personal use while staying with you- the fact that you used the cable while it was there is besides the point. He didn't help with any of your regular monthly expenses, and it cost you money to have him live there.
 

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He needs to know that that was payment and not a loan...for living with you and using your electricity, water, food, home, bed, etc. If he were renting or even staying in a hotel he would have paid way more than that! I think it is just rude that he is now asking for it back!!!
 

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your BIL is rude! Only $500 for staying with you for what, four, five months? I think that's a sweet deal and he should keep his mouth shut. And paying for cable? Whoopdeedoo, cable TV doesn't feed you or power your house.
 

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Tell him you only agreed to take it when it was made clear it did not need to be returned. As such, you will not be returning it. Leave it at that.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>TinkerBelle</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9080166"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">His mother should be told to shut her mouth and mind her own business.</div>
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Boy is this the truth. She is the queen of giving "presents" she expects to be paid back in the future for. I honestly don't know how my husband made it out of that family without being totally screwed up, oh i know, she kicked him out when he was 15 and he lived with his Aunt and his friend's family.
 
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