Mothering Forum banner
1 - 11 of 11 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,192 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was wondering if anyone had done this or if I was just insane to be considering it...

A quick background--I was planning a homebirth with Ry, but after a positive GBS screening, I succombed to the OB's scare tactics and switched to a planned hospital birth. I went into labor at 41 weeks, and was given pitocin against my wishes because I apparenly wasn't progressing fast enough for the hospital. Ry went into distress, but no action (not my choice) was taken and he was born 4 hours later, but had passed away maybe 30 seconds before birth. Prior to that moment, he was healthy with nothing known to be wrong with him.

Now, I am terrified of OBs and hospitals. I actually have PTSD from the whole thing. At first, I was told that the next time around, I was going to have a 38 week c-section, no exceptions (this was the same ob that I had with Ry). I since switched ob's and that one said there is no reason to do a c-section and no reason to take action at 38 weeks. That OB also works at the hospital I gave birth to Ry at.

I can't get it out of my head that Ry would still be alive if I homebirthed. I want to HB the next time around because to me, the hospital is not safe--of course, my mom who is an OB nurse would kill me. And if something were to happen, and maybe even if they didn't happen, mine and DH's families would be upset that we homebirthed, given our son's loss. But, is it something that would be a good idea in this situation? Has anyone done it?

FWIW, I'd be going with a homebirth midwife who is a former OB nurse if she agrees to take me. I have never met her, but I know several friends who have used her, and my friends said that apparently this midwife knows about what happened with Ry (my doula for Ry knows this midwife, so I'm sure that's how she found out). Would a homebirth be safe, or even safer next time around?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
341 Posts
Oh wow. I just had to reply to this post because I'm having so many of the same emotions.

I lost Joseph March 2001 he was born 3 days past his due date and died sometime during labour - he just slipped away - there was no medical reason....I have since gone on and had two (horrible) hospital birth experiences - both inductions prior to my due date just because my dr couldn't deal with me going to my due date "due to my history" My last birth was absolutely horrendous. He was induced two weeks early because he was "huge" and they were getting some "odd" NST readings (my regular dr came in later on and looked at the NST printout and said they looked fine to her but since I was there anyways....) He ended up spending a week in the constant care nursery due to a "suspected infection" - he was pumped full of 3 different antibiotics - after when all was said and done and their tests came back they said that it turned out he didn't have an infection after all. I am still angry at the OBs/hospital and my past birth experiences.

I am now pregnant (surprise!
with #4 and I am going with a midwife - and if I'm allowed to I will have a homebirth. I've come far enough in my journey now to realise that for me now this is the best solution. For my last 2 births I've allowed them to be so medicalized - and I now realise that my children are here because they are meant to be - not because I threw almost every possible medical intervention on them to get them here. This time I finally want to trust myself - I don't want to feel broken anymore.

Now at the time of my other DC's birth could I have had a homebirth? No probably not - I hadn't come far enough yet to even accept that as a possibility. This time around though I can't even imagine going through all the things that I went through with them. It's been a natural progression and I feel good about it....

I don't know what the right answer for you is right now but if your gut is telling you homebirth than I would do it. If you don't feel ready for it right now than don't - do whatever you need to do to get you through this. FWIW if I knew then what I know now then I would have gone with a homebirth - but at the time I wasn't there yet and thought I "needed" everything that goes with an OB/hospital "high risk" birth.

Wow - I know I'm rambling here but I couldn't not respond. ((HUGS)) to you and just have confidence that you will make the right choice in whatever you decide.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,192 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thank you Kelly...
: Congratulations on your newest pregnancy too!

I've done the "high risk" thing...my first, I had hyperemesis and PIH, and was put on bedrest for the second half of my pregnancy, induced at 39 weeks, 53 hour induction, 3 hours of pushing, vacuum extraction, the works. So not willing to go there again (luckily, my blood pressure was way lower the 2nd time around).

I'm considering going with an ob for the first half of the pregnancy to make sure that nothing wrong can be seen on ultrasound, while doing concurrent care with a homebirth midwife, and then switch after the OB tells me everything's fine...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
341 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by AllyRae
I'm considering going with an ob for the first half of the pregnancy to make sure that nothing wrong can be seen on ultrasound, while doing concurrent care with a homebirth midwife, and then switch after the OB tells me everything's fine...
That sounds like a great compromise. That way you can have some peace of mind but also the comfort of a homebirth


I wish you the best of luck - I think it sounds like you've got a great plan.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,486 Posts
You know, I had a very difficult first pregnancy and birth, and I wanted homebirth the second time around. My MW was able to refer me out for the 20-week ultrasound and a consult with a high-risk OB. Could this be an option for you?

I was very happy with my homebirth...you say your family will be upset if anything goes wrong with a homebirth - but something already went wrong at the hospital. Were they upset with the hospital staff for using pit on you, or not intervening regarding distress? Bad stuff can happen anywhere, but IMO it's less likely to happen at home. I was always able to explain to people that my last brush with hospital birth was so traumatic I really didn't want to go there again.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
21 Posts
Hi mamas. I appreciate your sharing your stories. I am very sorry for your losses. I can relate to family issues and MD environments.

I'm newer to MDC. Just confirmed pregnancy -- day 10 after ovulation. Been quite sick for a week now. Had a miscarriage about 3 years ago. And I have a son who will be 5 end of August.

I am a homebirth midwife's assistant. When I had my son, I was her client/her partner's client. Now she is the only CNM. I quick story is a very high intervention hospital birth that ended in cesarean -- lots of depression at end of pregnancy and after -- mulitple concerns in pregnancy etc.

But that sent me on a road to becoming a birth worker. And here I am. BTW I am also an RN -- which often adds to the judgements made against me by the medical field.

I am planning a homebirth this time -- VBAC. I have lots of fears and anxiety. I being proactive and making lots of changes this time around. I am worried about 'taking on' the medical community. As many groups here have the policy that VBAC are OB managed only. And I don't want much of what they will offer.

Also, CNMs in this area don't deliver VBACs. So now I'm going to have to add finding the right CPM to my list of education and evaluation.

I am definately having several support people at the birth -- friends who are birth workers including that CNM, a hypnotherapist and a doula. I did not have this with my son.

I stop blabbing on for now. I believe homebirth is a safe beautiful place to have our children. I do think an action plan for the pregnancy and labor are a must but a supportive MD is not needed. THat being said, I have fears about doing it and hope to find support here to keep going.

Thanks again, feels good to know others understand.
Kim
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
474 Posts
Hi my last baby was born at home after my son died due to complications of HLHS Primordial Dwarfism and a genetic blood clotting disorder.
I have been pregnant 7 times. One time with twins (one girl died in utero and one was born healthy) One time with triplets (one died very early about 6 weeks after conception 2 were born. Of the two born one girl was healthy and one was our son who died at 4 months 1 week old), I have an illeostomy due to severe Ulcerative Colitis and I have had 1 previous C-section the birth before my home birth. I was also 38 years old. I have experienced a hospital birth with an OBGYN and with episiotomy, PIT and twilight sleep once 20 years ago. I have had 1 medication free hospital birth with a family practice doctor (very positive experience), 1 medication free birth in a military hospital and a OBGYN(not a positive experience), 2 births with CNMs PIT and epidurals. (One of the babies was born non responsive at birth due to the pit and epidural). I have had one c-section with epidural and OBGYNs, Pediatricians, respiratory techs, nurses about 20 people in the room (very bad experience). Finally I have had 1 homebirth with a direct entry midwife

Wonderful wonderful experience!!! Especially after the c-section, then hospital stay of my son I was very much shell shocked and knew very well the pitfalls of a hospital birth. My homebirth was one of the absolute greatest experiences of my life! My baby did great and I did great!. I started out with an OBGYN for my last pregnancy because I was still unsure and nervous about the what ifs. I quickly became very dissatisfied and leery of the OBGYN and his attitude towards birth. I switched to the women's clinic I had used before with a CNM who at first talked the talk about being supportive of VBACs until closer to my due date. Then they started making noises about all the reasons I could need a VBAC. I switched at 7 months pregnant to a direct entry midwife. Best decision I ever made. She had belief in me, my body and my baby.
I did do an extensive u/s with my dd at 20 weeks along, with the perinatologist that discovered my son's heart defect. When my dd was found to be healthy and having all her parts formed in the correct ways I had the courage and strength to believe in myself and to protect my baby with a homebirth. Good luck. I am sorry for your loss. I hope you get the birth you want and need.
Kim
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,159 Posts
Ally, PM me if you want to chat about this...

From my second and third births, I know Xiola would have been with us had she been born at home.
Trust your heart, mama.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
972 Posts
Hello allyrae, I am so sorry to hear of the death of your precious son Ryland.


Amazingly enough I have had a homebirth after my daughter's stillbirth.
I still can't believe it!


I went to the local midwives and yes they tested me for GBS and yes I was +. They said I *had to* have a hospital birth and that it was highly recommended that the baby be whisked off to the special care nursery for observation for a half hour immediately after birth. That thought freaked me out, there was no way I wanted that!!! And neither did Hope!

My water broke at 5:00 that morning and labour pains came on quickly, I called Sarah at 6:00 and she came at 6:30. When she checked me I was fully dilated!!! I then had the choice of having a homebirth, we were totally unprepared for this, or driving to the hospital which is half an hour away in the middle of winter with snowy icy roads. I imagined being in labour bouncing around in an ambulance and possibly crashing too due to the slippery roads and opted for the homebirth. I am so glad I had the choice!!!


So Sarah phoned Kerstin and I had to hold off on pushing for half an hour, I was ready too, while we waited for her to arrive. It was very difficult. By law they have to have 2 midwives present in case of an emergency. It ended up taking me two hours to push Hope out as I was terrified that she would die instantly because of the GBS. It would have been too late for the shots I was supposed to have in labour to help the baby against the bacteria but I didn't realize that at the time. I wish they would have told me.

Apparently they had an ambulance on call just in case there was an issue. And you know what, amazingly there wasn't! And Hope was born at home just like that. We watched for the signs of an infection and there were none. Even when I was nervous I phoned Kerstin and she listened to Hope's breathing over the phone and knew she was fine!


I remember Sara, the other midwife, saying that the universe had brought everything together for me. I think she meant it to be comforting but it only made me feel empty and angry. If that were true why didn't the universe make everything come together for Amy Dawn's birth and why wasn't she here too?


If you can find the right support through experienced midwives and a doula and/or supportive friends and family a homebirth can be a wonderfully healing experience!


Sara also said that Hope didn't like the idea of special nursery either and that's why my labour went so quickly. The funny thing is Hope has always been a child who knows what she wants!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
21 Posts
First of all, I am always amazed when I hear women's birth stories. I am so sorry for eveyrone's pain and heart ached.

Mama8 Thanks for sharing your story. Very inspiring and congratulations.

Jen Congratulations. I can feel you shock and joy about Hope's birth.

I am trying to read as many VBAC stories as I can get my hands/eyes on.

THanks,
Kim
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
704 Posts
Hi Ladies (and Ally!!) -

After Luna died at term (she had dwarfism) I went on to have a HBAC last december.

I did SO MUCH work to prepare for the birth and every ounce of it was worth it. I knew in my heart that I wanted a homebirth (VBAC, whatever) and I decided it was my way of overcoming my horrible birth with her. It was my victory over everything that had been taken away from us.

I have so many thoughts about this....

1. I think most women who are pregnant after a loss want lots of reassurance, support, and a sense of security. After Luna's death I felt that being in the hospital couldn't offer me ANY of those things, and they only source of faith I could really have was from within. I had turned to the medical world in a time of need, and they did nothing for me. In fact, I felt that I was mis-managed.

2. I felt like Leif's birth was going to be so sacred (and it was) and I didn't want anyone who didn't know us or our story to be there.

3. As far as getting the medical care you might need: we are carriers for Luna's condition and I did need some ultrasounds and genetic counseling in the beginning of Leif's pregnancy. We got those through either Shadow Care or our homebirth MW just ordered them from a third party radiology center. We also told the genetic counselor (around week 10) that we were still shopping for a provider, so he was able to do his tests w/out an OB. PM me if you have questions about how to do this.

4. During my labor with Leif I wasn't scared or worried, I just labored. During the PG I worried about being anxious at the birth, but with the first good contractions I forgot all that crap. I just birthed.

I could talk forever about this...

Love to our weird club,

rachel
 
1 - 11 of 11 Posts
Top