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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So, my oldest daughter who is almost 2.5 has pretty much always dug her crib. We coslept a tiny bit but she really just wouldn't sleep if we were around (wanted to get up and party) and she has always slept great in her crib. A few weeks ago, her bedtime routine was down to a few books, a few minutes of rocking and singing songs, put her down, she'd play awhile and then conk out. She's been sleeping through the night (save few week periods where something is up) for over a year.

All of a sudden she was terrified of her crib. Like, as in, one day she went down fine, the next day, freaked. I couldn't figure out what was going on so I'll admit to being harsh with her for a couple of days falling prey to the idea that she was somehow trying to manipulate her way into bed with me because she's old enough to know her sister cosleeps half the night. Finally I realized she's really going through some major anxiety, just kind of generally speaking...and she told me there was a shower in her crib. She is deathly afraid of showers (man, did I feel like an a$$ trying to make her sleep in there, I wish she would have just said that in the first place!!!) so I knew that was probably it for the crib. Yes, other kids are afraid of monsters, mine is afraid of showers.
Various things have worked for a day or two at a time...at first I was rocking her completely to sleep (takes FOREVER) then transferring her to the crib. Then, she kept waking up and not wanting to get in. So I took her crib mattress out and let her sleep on the floor. Then she was cool if I'd leave her door open, then, not so much. Then, I switched her crib to a toddler bed (it converted). She liked that a couple of days but me or her dad was laying on the floor next to her on blankets and pillows while she was falling asleep, so she said she just wanted to sleep on the floor too.

The past several days she's been napping great on her floor. At night she's been going to sleep there and when she wakes up (anywhere from 1-6 hours after being asleep, it's totally random), my husband goes and spends the rest of the night with her.

**I should add, I'm very sorry to admit that I have NO desire to have one big old family bed. My youngest daughter and I sleep in a king and I know that seems downright luxurious to most of you
, but she's a roamer and we need our space. My DH has been on the couch the past 9 months, because he'd rather sleep there than with us.**

I just got the NCSS for Toddlers today and it definitely sounds like she's going through some separation anxiety. It's great that she's accepting DH as a nighttime parent (she hasn't always) and things are pretty much fine the way they are (other than the floor) but my questions begin here. I guess for now we're going to blow up an air mattress so at least they're not on the floor (though she clearly doesn't seem to mind). But anytime I bring up with her getting a new bed (the toddler bed was her "big girl bed" which had novelty factor for about 2 seconds), she says "No, want THIS bed." Even though she hasn't and won't sleep in it in over a week. If I try to play up "you can pick new blankies and new sheets", she says "NO, want THIS blankie. Want this sheet."

So, what would you do? Should we get a full size bed and just leave the crib/toddler bed set up for now? Do nothing and keep on with the air mattress in case she ends up wanting to sleep in her old bed again? And can we expect this to pass at some point (dumb question, I know, but I have to ask)? It's totally bizarre to me to be dealing with this when she's never been a cosleeper and hasn't had issues sleeping through the night since she was like one!

and, let this be a lesson (it certainly has been to me). For all those naysayers who say you shouldn't cosleep with babies because you'll never get them out when they're toddlers...even if you DON'T cosleep you can end up with toddlers in your bed so you may as well enjoy them while they're tiny!
I have to say I was feeling a bit of anxiety over cosleeping with my second because I didn't really set out to do that...but now I'm A-OK with it!
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
wow...a stumper I guess!

no one wants to bite? My friend suggested perhaps don't get a regular bed yet lest it get associated with the anxiety stuff she's going through now. But last night DH couldn't leave her side...he had to go get ready for bed because she wouldn't stay there without him.
 

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I remember that there's a separation anxiety phase that kicks in around 2 1/2. My DD is almost there (28 months), and she's having another one of those spurts where she seems more and more aware every day--and that has translated into really wanting us there with her at night.

Could you put her little mattress in your room, maybe at the end of your bed? I'm finding that my DD isn't often soothed now by just hearing me or DH in the room. Or could you get a cheapo twin mattress for your DH to put on the floor next to her little mattress in her room?
 
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