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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My oldest is 5.She is most likely gifted. She also hits strongly on all five of dabroski's OE's. She can become highly emotional.<br>
This is particularly true when she is spurting (cognitive or growth).<br>
We'll have 2w to several months of being highly emotional b/c she is soooo tired. Then it stops and we see either a big growth or big cognitive change.<br><br>
The problem is b/c she is soooo tired, she can become highly emotional.<br><br>
When she is emotional, she reallly lashes out.<br><br>
Everything I try only seems to escalate the situation. It's like she is fire and I'm oil.<br><br>
Example. Yesterday her sister accidently drew on her side of the white board. She went into complete hysterical screaming, saying she was going to hit her sister, etc, etc. Dh asked her to go to her room to calm down, and it just exponentially worse. This time I tried going up to her room with ehr (b/c she really balks at the concept of being alone in her room)... of course she fought the whole idea, knocking items off my steps and turning over a laundry basic. Then she stated she was going to hit me b/c she was soo mad. Nice that she used words, but she did still end up hitting about 10 seconds later.<br><br>
It's impossible to use logic, b/c she is so tired. It's not possible to get her to nap (she's sleep faught since 2m, and dropped first nap at 6m and all by 18m).<br><br>
Anyone BTDT?? Any suggestions on how to get her to calm down when she hits that mode, or ways I can work with her so I don't have such an 'oil' affect?<br><br>
She's actually not shown this degree of emotion in her pre-k class, and I suspect it's b/c it's all play-based, and it's in the morning when she is still reasonably awake. I'm actually also concerned that when K hits, if she is bored and dislikes it we may see these sort of outbursts. Speculation on my part, which I guess I need to cross when we get there.<br>
Tammy
 

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Have you read "How to talk so Kids will listen and Listen so Kids will talk" ? It is a great book, and I found some good techniques for dealing with my dd in a differnt way (its also a pretty quick read).<br><br>
I would consider cutting back or out TV and computer time, as those can be very tiring though they don't seem like it. I would also look at her diet and cut out sugar and processed foods (my dd is really really awful for tantrums when she has had artificial colors), as those can also be tiring and irritating to the system. And I would move her bedtime up to be earlier whether or not she wants to go to bed- she can always lay there and look at a book while she unwinds.<br><br>
With my dd, we have chosen to homeschool, partly because I did worry that regular public school would bring out the "worst" in her.<br><br>
I have found with my dd that talking through things logically helps certain behaviors, though we might have to discuss it when we are all calm. I have explained to dd that none of us wants to live in a family that hits- including pointing out that there are adults who spank their children- that we are a no hitting family and it is her responsiblilty to help us do that.<br><br>
Good luck- the high emotions are hard to deal with.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I think I read it once. I'll see if I can dig it up again.<br><br>
We don't use the tv/computer that much. An 'average' day might be one 30 minute show for child (so 2), and then the tv is off the rest of the day. Other days have no tv, days that have more are when we have movie days. Computer is used maybe once every 2 weeks.<br><br>
Sugar has been minimized.<br><br>
All the inability to control emotion is connected to being tired. It's always been that way. Her body has an extreme reaction when she becomes tired. When she was 2, it was literally like a switch...fine and the morning, and then suddenly absolutely loopy. Dr Jekyll/Hyde phenomenon.... and her body just kind would shut down. It's gotten better as she has gotten older and the need for naps has diminished...but spurts are bad.<br>
Tammy
 

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With my oldest it has gotten better with age. But when he is tired and overwhelmed and prone to be naughty instead of sending him off to his room I just scoop him up (which is getting more difficult these days as he gets bigger!) and snuggle him in a quiet place and talk about what happened when he has calmed down a bit.<br><br>
Sending them away to their room never worked for us. It just seemed to make the situation worse--it would lead to destruction of property and he would try to hurt himself <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:. Sometimes I hide away for a minute to catch my calm. My dh still does the 'go to your room' thing, but very rarely.<br><br>
If they're tired I think it helps to anticipate this and do all the calming bath/book/candle stuff before they're exhausted. My son loves to sit in his bed and read before bed--so I remind him sometimes as early as 5 pm to get ready for bed (the darkness early helps here, too) so he can read and draw in his own space.<br><br>
I've also noticed that the explosions happen if my son is ill but doesn't readily admit that he is ill.<br><br>
Oh, baby crying...
 

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I had honestly never associated the two, THANK YOU for bringing that to my attention! My dd is currently admist a growth spurt (I have the grocery bill to support it) and she has been sooooooooooo emotional and tired for the last couple of weeks.<br><br>
I always just assumed it "was what it was" that she was tired, because quite honestly, I'm an emotional mess when I'm tried too. I figured she was just like her mother in that respect.<br><br>
On our very rough days, and I can tell the outburst is strictly related to exhaustion I will tell her that I'm very sorry that she is so upset and then I will ask her if it's something that she thinks we can work through, or is she just having a bad day? and does she need a hug? 9 times out of 10 she'll tell me she's just having a very bad day and that yes she wants a hug and then we both take a 10 minute timeout together in the recliner and just cuddle. That down time (since she has refused to nap since 18 months) and touch seems to reset her and she's good to go for at least a few more hours.
 

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Yes, yes, yes. BTDT. Oh, wait, I mean, there and doing it right now.<br><br>
If I ever come up with a solution, I'll share it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 
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