[sherina]

I need some help because whatever I'm doing is apparently not working.

My daughter is almost four and we have such a hard time getting her to settle down at the supper table. I'm not expecting royalty-like manners and I'm not at all of the "children should be seen and not heard" school. I have no problems with chattering, I don't expect her to sit through a long dinner (which is why I get stressed at the in-laws' house when we go for looooong holiday meals), and we don't force her to clear her plate before she leaves.

Really, all I want is for her to sit down and eat. She has a tendency to stand up in her chair, fool around (the biggest concern is she does it when she's eating and has nearly choked before; also our kitchen floor is a HARD ceramic tile and she already fell once and had a massive bruise on her forehead so I want her to sit properly for safety issues), and she gets up and goofs around before she's done eating. I wouldn't care if she ate, finished, and left before we're all done, but it's the neverending antics during the dinner that drive me insane.

Worse, when we go out places, she does it at other people's homes too and their kids are all sitting there eating their meals. Unfortunately, not only does this make people give me the hairy eyeball like I'm some inadequate mother, eventually the other kids get up and start goofing around too, because they see her doing it.

We've tried modelling, we've tried discussing it beforehand and with reminders, we've used positive reinforcement, we've gotten upset and short-tempered and yelled, nothing seems to work.

Any advice?

 

[monkey's mom]

Can you ask her what would be her preference for meal times? Maybe there's some underlying thing that we wouldn't even think about, you know?

I would explain all my concerns (the hard tile, what's socially appropriate, choking, the other kids, etc.) and ask her what you all could do to make the situation comfortable for everyone.

She might surprise you!

 

[papapoochie]

My DS is the same age. We invite him to bring a toy to the table (although this is becoming an issue for us when it drops and he screams!) and to sit and eat. He's also very active and alive. Lots of movement, very talkative. We tell him the expectation that dinner time is a calm peaceful time for the family. Ha!

I think that these little people are all somewhat unique. Yours and mine are a bit, shall I say, spicy? I really hate it when someone w/a mellow child blames the parents for the spicy child's behaviors.

I kinda don't know what to say. Hopefully some of the more experienced parents can lend some insight. Good luck.