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Hmmm. First let me reassure you if i can that This is not something you did or could have changed by not doing the family bed/co-sleeping. I really think perhaps your dd is one of those that can not wind down very easily. does she get a bath at night? winding down actvities that are quiet? What is the routine? Are both of you in there to help her get to sleep? If that is the case, maybe let dad do story-time and then they put out the lights and 'go to sleep' . If he makes it clear that it is time to sleep and reminds her to lie down and be quiet will she comply? Maybe a story cd/tape? That has been working for our 4 year old.
~L
 
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