[mimi_n_tre]

Hi Mamas, and Mamas to be...

Welcome to our April support thread.

We are once again starting a new month in which we continue a journey of pregnancy after loss, much hope, peace and support to you all.

Everyone is welcome here... This is a safe place to express our joy, our nervousness, our hopes, our dreams, and our fears as we go through pregnancy.

Please remember at all times that we all have been through a loss. We have all experienced the pain and heartbreak. No one loss is more important than any other. We all share the pain together. No one here is trying to hurt anyone else...

Please feel free to share whatever you need, and everyone is welcome.

Here we are, and hoping to add more:

Anakna4 (Emily) EDD 05/21/06
Isaac 8/22/99, Ivy 5/27/01 & Emma 11/25/03! & 2 m/c's

katiejon1 (Katie) EDD 06/06
caleb, age 2, m/c (08/05 at 6 wks)

Mearaina (Lisa) EDD 06/16/06
dd1 (6/21/02) dd2 (6/10/04) m/c (6/8/05 at 10 wks)
and Baby Lovebug EDD 6/16/06

Katana (Alison) EDD 6/16/06
ds (7), dd (5) and 3 losses 9/93, 1/98 and 10/03

JennInSeattle (Jenn) EDD 7/5/06
ds (2) and losses 4/02, 5/02, 6/02, 8/04, 5/05, 8/05 and 9/05

mimi_n_tre (Mary) EDD 7/18/06
Trevor 6/6/00, Jase s/b 9/10/05 and angels 4/98, 2/01, 1/05

saramel (Emily) EDD 7/23/06
ectopic 7/05

Butterfly_mom (Liz), EDD 7/23/06
Mom to Ethan, 4yrs, and Mom to Bailee Elise, born still 27 Aug 05 at 39 wks 6 days and now a new journey awaits us

Aurora EDD 07/06
ds(8), dd(6), ds(2) and wee one due July 2006.
Miscarriages 01/05 and 07/05

Ary99 EDD 8/9/06
Mom to Tabor 8/9/02 , 12/04

Katiemare (Kathleen) EDD 8/11/06
DS almost 4yo
Ectopic Loss 11/04

lasirena EDD 08/19/06
mc 6/05 at 10 weeks with my first pregnancy

taradt (Tara) - Due late August.
Mama to Cailyn -(4/02)
14 week missed miscarriage (found at 16 weeks), 8 week miscarriage (found at 11 weeks) and a 26 week stillbirth

Summerland EDD 9/22/06
DS Jordan 10/02, missed mc 17 weeks, 03/05, mc 5 weeks 03/01

littleteapot (Babs) EDD Sept/Oct
Tempest (8/07/03)
4 Early miscarriages: December '01, July '03, September '04, November '04 (?) and Jericho, November 1st, 2005 @ 34 weeks

BCmamaof5 EDD 9/06
1/91 9/93 12/05
13yo boy
11, 7, 5 & 3yo girls

soccermominsd (Anita) EDD late Sept/early Oct 06
DD(16), and 3 losses 1983, 1985 and 11/05

Graduates:
ilovemy2ds, sleepymama, mirandahope

Those who left too early...

UrbanEarthMom

4/06, Zion

4/06

 

[mimi_n_tre]

I decided to do this a tad bit early since I am usually a procrastinator....

I have most everyone and their names on the first post but there are still a few with no real names (unless they want to remain anonymous) and some that have joined but are not on the board. Please pm me if you want to be added, I know sometimes it can be tough to even think about this....

One last thing. Just wanted to say Congratulations to Grace (MH) as this is her final few weeks before her little one is here. Yeah!!!!

Mary

 

[egoldber]

Hi! I've been scared to post here, but figured with the new month I should go ahead and start posting.

A little history on me. I have a DD4, who was born by C-section because I was stupid and because of "failure to wait" when I had PROM at 37 weeks. We TTC again when she was 2 and I became pregnant, but we lost that pregnancy at 7 weeks. It then took us 9 cycles of TTC to conceive again, and I lost that pregnancy by about 8 weeks. I then became pregnant again immediately before even having a cycle (this was an oops, we were not TTC) and lost that pregnancy too. I then waited until I had a full cycle, and then became pregnant again. That pregnancy went full term. We were so excited to finally have the second child we had been longing for. I was VBACing in the hospital with an extremely supportive OB. But the worst possible thing happened, and I had a uterine rupture. We lost Leah when she was 9 days old.

Anyhoo.... after much agony and soul searching by my husband and consulting a whole host of medical experts on the safety of pregnancy after uterine rupture, here I am. I'm 6 weeks pregnant today. And I'm scared, scared, scared. I've had 3 betas and an early ultasound at 5W4D where my RE saw the heartbeat, so things look good so far. But I'm just so freaked about the might be's.

Right now we're struggling to find a new OB. For me, there is no option, I will be having a planned C-section, probably around 37 weeks. There is no OB in the world that would do a VBA2C+UR with me, and I honestly have no interest. I just want this baby in my arms. But I would like to have as family centered a cesarean as possible, and I am networking to find an OB who will work with me.

Oh, my due date is 11/23.

Wow, that was long. Sorry.

 

[Bartock]

This might be long sorry. I have 2 boys, 5yo and 6mo. Before ds1 was conceived I had lost Lee as we called the baby at 7 weeks preg. I had found out I was preg about 4 days before we were going on holiday's, we were TTC so I was so happy, but then I started to spot, I tried to get into the doc but they were closed for the weekend and I would have to wait until Tuesday as Monday was Victoria Day and they were closed, I should have went to the hospital but never did. We were leaving on Sunday so I just did not get an appointment. So we go on our Victoria holiday, on Wednesday my dad takes us to his navy base where he works and take us for a Zodiac ride on the ocean. We had to turn back about half hour later cause I can feel my self bleeding. We get back to the base and my stepmother(RIP)rushes me to the walk in clinic. All is okay they said, I was having a threatened miscarriage, things will be OK.

So me and DH go for a really fancy expensive dinner the next night, we order, then I have to go pee. I start to pee and here a plop. I get up and look OMG a bean shaped thing in the toilet(sorry TMI)I take it out wrap it in TP go tell hubby we have to leave now(Stupid restaurant made us pay for our food we did not even get yet even though we told them why we had to leave), I need to go to the hospital. So we have to drive 20 Min's back to my dads, so he can show us were the hospital is, which is another 20 min drive. I new in my heart what had happened and was devastated. We get to hosp, doc looks at the bean thing and checks me out, all is fine he says it's just a blood clot(false hope clots are not hard). Then he wants to check what blood type I am since I don't know.

Doc calls me that night and tells me I have A- blood, so that's prob why I am having a threatened miscarriage, tells me to come in the next day before we leave for home to get a shot and it might save it. We get home and I go see my doc and explain how WELL my holiday went and he orders and ultra sound. Need less to say there was no baby in there, nothing, even though I had been told I was still preg and the bean thing was a clot, not a baby. I was so upset and have very high doubts on anything a doc tells me now. But good news since I had had the shot about 3 weeks later I was preg with DS1. Things are great now, but i still always wonder what Lee would have look like and such, he/she would be 6 now. Thanks I feel better sharing that.

 

[mirandahope]

mimi_n_tre--Thanks for setting up the new thread! it looks great!

ilovemy2ds & egoldber--welcome! I hope you find this is a safe and supportive place to post as I have for the last several months.

I am so tired! I can only nap sometimes because I still have to eat every 2 hours to keep food down! My pelvis is tender from "Boots" moving lower and lower, and I am getting braver about the upcoming, imminent birth. Anytime between tonight and 4 weeks from now. Feels weird to have such a range

DH is busy with finishing up stuff for work, so he's having a long night. I feel lonely, wish more people would come and visit me. But everyone works or are away.

I keep wanting to nest, and have ambitious ideas but then get so tired, and go lay down instead. Anyone relate to that?

Take care, Mamas!

 

[Katana]

Thanks Mary, for the thread.

Oh, and you can add my real name to me, I'm Alison.

Beth, welcome

Wow, you have really had a journey, thank you for sharing it. I know the early weeks are so hard to get past, I wish for a calm and quick time. And luck in finding an OB that will work with you.

ilovemy2ds, welcome to you too.

I'm glad you're here, and thanks for sharing. I'm sorry that you had to go through your loss on vacation, and that the doctors you spoke too weren't the greatest. I hope you find this place helpful and supportive.

I did something most people would probably consider a little crazy today. Our insurance changed this month, and the new insurance covers the home birth practice by us. I saw a doctor from there today, and I've decided to switch to them.

I'm so excited. For the first time since before I spotted (over 20 weeks ago), I feel like I'm taking charge and doing things a better way. So, at almost 29 weeks, I have new care providers.

The best thing is that they are not afraid of bigger babies. My ds was over ten pounds and almost 2 feet long. Dd wouldn't have been small, if she had stayed in to term. There's a good chance that this one could be larger too, and these new doctors are okay with that.

It is such a relief to not have to argue with a care provider that it's okay to have a baby bigger than eight pounds. Of course, this baby could be smaller than that, but at least I don't have to worry about induction talk and stress tests once I hit 37 weeks.

And, dh is fine with a home birth as long as there is a doctor there. He said he can see how much calmer I am, and that makes him calm.

So now,

: if I can just make it to 37 weeks, it's a go. I'm still having some issues because dd came right at 36 weeks, but I'm working on letting that go.

Whoosh, so much stress is gone.

 

[taradt]

Thanks for starting the new thread Mary

Welcome Beth, wishing you a peaceful 9 months here.

ilovemy2ds - welcome, I am sorry you lost your baby on vacation

mirandahope - I am sure you will do great at the birth

Katana - I think it is great that yo uare going with a provider you feel most comfortable with.

My daughters birthday is tommorow so I have to go and get things ready (like make a pink pony cake).

take care

tara

 

[Summerland]

Thanks Mary for starting this for us

Time is flying by so fast, i cant hardly believe another month has passed, but im so glad that it has.
Im 15 weeks today!!
I get to hear the heartbeat on monday, i have been really nervous since it has been almost 2 weeks since i heard it last, I had a scary nightmare a few nights ago and it was way to real.

welcome egoldber and ilovemy2ds, i hope both your pregnancy's are long and go well

tara im glad your cold is finally over, happy bday to your daughter

katana, im glad you will get the birth you want

miranda, im excited that you will be holding your baby in your arms very soon

 

[mimi_n_tre]

Beth,
I am so sorry to hear about Leah. I am going to try for a VBAC this time around but am so scared about things like a uterine rupture or having the baby's umbilical cord around the neck and such in which my baby will end up not here again. I am also just so scared of having an epidural though... I know, things could be worse though. I guess I still have 15 weeks to decide though.

I just hope that everything will go as best as it can through this pregnancy for you and your family. It is so hard to not try to compare it to the last and believe that things will be okay this time. I have also been thinking about maybe having an early delivery, just to make sure that baby is not going to leave again too soon. But I want to have a big healthy baby at the same time...

Hi ilovemy2ds,
Thank you for sharing your story. Sometimes it feels good to let things out that hurt, and especially with those who have been in the same situation. I also had went to the ER where they said that I had a threatened miscarriage. They didn't want to bother with getting an ultrasound since I had a doctors appt for the next day, and the nurse/doctor lady said that my cervix was still closed so it looked *hopeful*. The next day I found out that it wasn't so great, and somewhere my baby had disappeared...

What did they give you for your next pregnancy? Was it just the Rhogam because you were RH-? I'm happy that you had the treatment and everything went well with your subsequent pregnancies.

MH,
Yes, I don't get too much sleep right now, but I remember with Trev that all I would do is sleep until I had to go to work. I guess it should be considered a good thing since you probably won't be getting that much sleep after the baby comes.

Alison,
I am so happy for you that you get to have a homebirth. I envy you. Maybe if everything goes well this time, my last will be a homebirth. My insurance covers it as well, but I am too scared to even think about it. DH is all up for it though (He's just weird like that.)

Tara,
Have fun at the birthday party. I know I want to do something special for DS 6th, but I'll be 34 weeks and I don't think I'll have that great of a time doing what I wanted to do for him. I was thinking either Disneyland or Universal Studios. I'll probably just have a party for him at Chucky Cheese or something easy though.

Well, I'm off to Las Vegas. My sister is getting married this weekend and wanted us to come. I think she is still a little mad that we didn't make her come up for our wedding last year. I told her we were most likely getting married, and were going to camp at the lake, but she decided not to come up and then got mad because we got married... I think we'll spend most of the time walking around and looking at some of the shops and stuff. (If it isn't raining that is...)

Mary

 

[Mearaina]

Mary - Thanks for setting this up. Have fun at Vegas, that sounds like fun.

Beth and ilove my 2ds - Welcome!!

Mirandahope - You are almost at the finish line!! Is everything ready for your wee one? We have nothing except diapers and a sling, so we have what we need, but I really want to go through the girls clothes and get organized around the house a bit.

Alison - that is so cool that you are going to HB. HB is a deal-breaker with my dh, so it isn't an option for me. I am happy for you.

taradt - Have fun at the party. My dd's b-days are June 10 and June 21, and since I am due June 16 I am not sure when to have their party. I will just have to guess

.

Summerland - Nightmares should be banned during pregnancy. I hope the days fly by.

We are fine. Sometimes I don't feel that tired, so I think my iron is starting to build back up, and my dizzy spells have stopped. My belly has "popped" a bit more, so there is less pressure on my insides, which is a huge relief. Anyway, off to figure out what to make for dinner. I can't believe that April is here already!!

Blessings to all.
~Lisa

 

[mirandahope]

last night we noticed that there is a whole hand width between the bottom of my breasts and the top of Boots' feet! The day before, his/her feet were much higher. I felt him/her wiggling down during the day, and really noticed the difference at night! The midwife told me on Tuesday that he/she had dropped, but I hadn't noticed quite that much difference until last night.
I can breathe deeply again!! And I have more energy. I am kind of buzzing!

I couldn't relax enough to have a nap today! and my heartburn only started at 3pm, rather than first thing! Though some days are like that... It is strange to feel my upper chest without a sweet wiggling lump in it! and to feel that lump lower. I can walk faster, although if I go uphill or I guess when Boots changes position, I end up hobbling midstride as my pelvis suddenly goes out! Kind of funny to me, as I think of myself as the classic pregnant woman hobbling around.

I am getting annoyed with strangers telling me I look like I am about to pop and guessing, like today, that "it must be a boy because you're so huge!" I guess I should be thankful that I only have to deal with that for like 30 minutes a couple times a week, not like some people who work with folks who say those comments all the time...

Folks from our prenatal class have started becoming parents! Yikes, I guess we're next on the hit parade!

I sorted through our baby clothes today and organized them based on size, and picked out a couple of the smallest ones to take to the hospital with us. if that's nesting than I've done it today. I also bought a changing pad and diaper bag (they came as a set), though I didn't put much thought into it, just grabbed the first thing that looked decent enough to use. I wanted to get the heck out of the store. I hate baby shopping! Thankfully most of our stuff is hand-me-downs.

it is so nice to hear you mamas give me encouragement. I believe it more lately.

Take care, mamas!

 

[Bartock]

Yes it was the rohgam(SP) My real name is Jeannette. and my misscarry was May 2000 if you want to add me to the list, oh and they figured i was about 7 weeks. I now have 2 boys Taylor 5yo and Tristan 6 mo. Thanks.

 

[mirandahope]

I'm getting nervous. I know that Boots is going to be born anytime, and I am still not quite convinced that s/he will be a live baby, or that I will actually be able to do this adventure! I was panicking a bit last night in the middle of the night. I also feel sick and really tired again today

I hope I feel more confident again before I actually go into labour...

 

[Katana]

Tara, I hope your dd has a great birthday. Wow, a pink pony cake. I am in awe of people who can bake.

Summerland, I'm sorry you have had bad dreams. Those are the worst. I hope Monday comes quickly for you, and that hearing the heartbeat calms you. I also think time has gone by fast, it's like, it can't be April.

Mary, have fun in Las Vegas. I hope you can figure out what you want to do for the birth. I know I've gone back and forth, so many times on what I think I want to do and then it changes from week to week. I'm still kind of in a place where I'm preparing for anything, because I still feel like it could all go haywire. I keep telling myself, all that really matters is getting the baby out and getting to hold him/her.

Lisa, I'm glad you're feeling better, and that the baby has moved for you, so it's more comfortable. Yay for more energy. Dh isn't gungho on homebirth, but since our hospital birth was so traumatic and awful, he's kind of leaving it up to me. I know it won't be his most comfortable couple of hours, but he'll be okay. He does like the one doctor we saw, so that's a big step for him.

MH, I know this is such a crazy time. It's so cool that Boots has dropped, and that you're just about there. I'm so happy, and so excited for you.

I'm sorry you've felt sick and tired today, and for your fear.

You can do this. We're all rooting for you and thinking great throughts. Hang in there, anyway you can.

 

[Adensmommy]

I'm sorry if I'm intruding. I have been lurking here for a bit.
Mirandahope I am so happy for you and so excited I cant wait for you to have sweet little Boots safe in your arms.
I hope soon I will feel the same joy and anticipation you must be feeling.
Good luck mama.

Brandi

 

[UrbanEarthMom]

I appreciate all the support I received here but I have to say goodbye and go back on the general miscarriage threads.

I went for an ultrasound last week and I found out that I lost this baby too.

I wish you all well.

Mary

 

[mirandahope]

urbanearthmom--So sorry to hear of your loss.

I hope you will find the support you need.

adensmommy & katana-- thank you for your good wishes! (and no, adensmommy, you're not intruding. this is an open forum)

I had about 2 hours of contractions 5 minutes and less apart last night. We called the doula and the midwife who agreed to be on alert, and I started getting ready. Then I took a hot bath and things calmed down. We got a good night's sleep, and I woke up for about 3-4 contractions in the night and have only had 1-2 this morning. Boots moved down even more last night! There is now a hand length between my breasts and him/her! I can breathe more easily and when I walk I can feel my own body shaking at the top of my chest (probably sounds weird). I have had less heartburn today, but somedays are like that.

DH and I are talking to Boots and trying to convey that there are lots of people here who want to love him/her and that its safe to be born whenever he/she decides it is time. I love that DH does that with me.

Feeling grumpy...folks wouldn't help us for 15 minutes at a local chain store where we needed someone to unlock a cabinet and give us info and like 8 people walked by and I even asked 2 of them to help, and finally I gave up and left DH there. I can't stand for a long time and still need to eat every so often. But after I went for a bathroom break, I went back and someone had done the bare minimum to help DH. I told the cashier their customer services suck!!! He smiled and said have a nice day. Apparently DH heard him say that he'd tell the manager, but I dunno. I thought about calling the store but I maybe should just let it go. Got my dander up, I tell ya!!

I don't think I'll go there for a while. We did, however, get a diaper pail (a garbage can we'll use for that) and a power drill so DH can make our "most of a crib" functional.

Take care, Mamas!

 

[taradt]

Mary I am so sorry that you had another loss.

tara

 

[Katana]

Mary, I'm sorry you lost your baby.

 

[Katana]

MH, that is some awful customer service. I think I would have just left the store, after maybe yelling at some people. When you're pregnant, you're allowed to be "crazy" and cranky.

You sound close. I remember the days of not being able to stand, my hip getting out and just generally being annoyed with everyone/everything.

I'm wishing good labor vibes to you, your dh and Boots.