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Discussion Starter #1
I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible...I just need some good vibes sent my way and maybe some good suggestions.<br><br>
My son's father (we were never married) has not seen DS in nearly a year and was never active in his live the first year either, this is all on his own doing. Lives across the country now. He uses DS as a pawn in his game of control (I have a host of examples). When he was just an infant he would try to feed him all sorts of horrible food (even by adult standards) because he knew I wanted him eating healthy (EBF at that point). His come back was always..."I'm his father I can do whatever I want". For Christmas he had plans to come to see him for 10 days...but never showed up or called.<br>
Now he has called saying he will be in for 3 weeks. My baby has no idea who he is. When he turns 2 the courts have given him blue book (overnight visitiation). We still co-sleep and nurse. The father will be here when he turns 2 in March. He seems like he will be cooperative and give him a chance to get to know him...but I've seen this sort of thing play out all too many times.<br>
I just need some lovin' because I'm scared to death that these upcoming 3 weeks are going to be a nightmare for my very attached son.<br>
I just get stomach aches and tears thinking of him crying for his mommy, confused and scared.
 

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What does your custody agreement say? That makes all the difference. I would do what is best for the child, regardless of what the custody agreement might say, but I'm like that and standing my ground has always worked - I think because it has been the right thing to do when I have stood my ground. I have a similar story although it has been nearly two years since ds's father has come to see him.<br><br>
Let us know what your custody agreement says and we will better be able to respond.
 

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You could always go back and modify the court order. Tell the judge that dad has never exercised visitation and he has called many times saying he was coming and you made the plans but then he wouldn't show and you feel it would be in the best interest of the child for their to be smaller, consistent visits before overnights be granted. Not just using the age of 2 but the fact the kid doesn't know his dad and it would be traumatizing until he at least knows him better.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Avani</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10300543"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">You could always go back and modify the court order. Tell the judge that dad has never exercised visitation and he has called many times saying he was coming and you made the plans but then he wouldn't show and you feel it would be in the best interest of the child for their to be smaller, consistent visits before overnights be granted. Not just using the age of 2 but the fact the kid doesn't know his dad and it would be traumatizing until he at least knows him better.</div>
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ITA
 

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Discussion Starter #5
posting what I did in the other thread to answer cycle's question...<br><br>
Well...when I talked to him earlier he seemed ok with me being around for a few times to get him familiar with him...hopefully he'll stick to that.<br>
Yeah...the judge was 'in a hurry' that day and apperently we had taken up too much of his time as it was when he ruled.<br>
There was a "problem" with the order (or maybe an attempt to slip in) that my son, upon turning two could fly to his state (a few time zones over). Luckely, the judge said in the transcript that he wasn't going to rule on that part...that he would have blue book in the state. Based on if there was a relationship developed and we could agree to out-of state visits then that would be up to us. So right now I'm in the process of it being changed...with that said...it's being brought to light that he is completely uninvolved since the hearing.<br>
But...as of now...when he's in the state he's allowed standard blue book at 2.<br>
And let me say...I'm not opposed at all to my little one knowing his father...I just wish that the other side could be human about it and sensitive and cooperative....realizing that this is a process.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>art_teachermommy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10301412"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I just wish that the other side could be human about it and sensitive and cooperative</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">: <span style="color:#008000;">Dont we all</span>
 
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