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Ok so I am nursing my almost 3 year old and my 4.5 month old. I am CLWing. There is no question of that. But I hate nursing my toddler. Just out and out I hate it. She had almost weaned during my pregnancy and I was very happy with that. When DD#2 was about 3 months old suddenly DD#1 started greatly upping her nursing demands from once every week or so to once a day and now she nurses almost as much as the baby. The problem is that she doesn't nurse properly. For a short time after she started nursing more she had started latching but really what she does is just suck on me. I hate it. It makes me feel icky and like I need to jump out of my body. I try to close my eyes and remember her as a little baby and I can't even visualize it. Sometimes I have to cut her off after just a few seconds because I feel that weirded out. I also feel a bit manipulated by her. For instance she has started faking injuries as an excuse to nurse. Now by no means do I only nurse her if she is hurt. Within reason I will nurse her at any time but still she will come up to me and say she is hurt and I know she's not because I saw her standing there normally and suddenly she tells me her foot is hurting. I promise it's not I can tell the difference and she is definitely faking. The few times that I try to delay her (say when we're in bed and I'm nursing the baby while side lying) she will just try to nurse anyway. That makes me feel violated like she totally will not accept any boundaries and is unwilling to accept that I'm a person too and I can say no sometimes or really I can say "please wait a minute and then you can nurse." She is three years old and she should be able to accept some limits right? Seriously she would nurse every second of the day just about if I would let her. I know this is normal but I can't take it at this point and I do worry a little bit about my 4.5 month old getting enough.<br><br>
Ok so mainly I needed to get that out and just vent. But secondly for moms who have BTDT does it get easier as your new baby got older. Will I start to feel less touched out and like a boob that is just subject to my child's will? Has anyone else gone from feeling so negatively about nursing to regaining some of the joy from it? I just feel like at this rate the nice memories are being crowded out by this feeling of resentment. I'm not remotely considering weaning her I can't even imainge how awful that would be for all concerned but this is just miserable at this point. Any suggestions or support is very welcome.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> Wasabi <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
wouldn't it be neat to be able to take our boobs off and hand them over to the child or some dependable adult and go crawl into a bed alone and just veg for awhile (a long while)!<br><br>
it's ok to feel burned out and touched out. hopefully it's just a phase. are you staying hydrated. i know i get icky and crawly feeling when i'm dehyrated when i would not feel that nursing the infant.<br><br>
3 is still a hard age. just because they can talk to you doesn't mean they understand all that is going on.<br><br>
As for nursing properly, whenever i feel the boys teeth, i ask them to unlatch, show them the marks and they seem to be more consious of how the relatch. but, that also seems to be related to dehyration. and as a mom nursing 3, it's unbelieveable how quickly i can dehydate. my oldest starts nursing and say's "mom, i'm going to get you a glass of water". thing is, the glass of water seems to work.<br><br>
take care and hope things feel better soon. it's tough balancing out your children's needs as well as your own. but, if you weren't breastfeeding you'd still have to work around two children!<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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My two were 31 months apart and whenever I see someone post about tandeming and the younger is near 5 months I *have* to respond.<br><br>
For me, that time frame was the very, very yuckiest. But, I got through it and DD nursed until DS was 18 months and it was *much* better. I found that nursing them at the same time around then just was too, too much.<br><br>
It is also a really hard time for your older child. The baby isn't really "fun" yet (walking/talking/playing) but the novelty has definatley worn off, kwim?<br><br>
Good luck<br><br>
Kay
 

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Discussion Starter #4
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>TiredX2</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It is also a really hard time for your older child. The baby isn't really "fun" yet (walking/talking/playing) but the novelty has definatley worn off, kwim?<br><br>
Good luck<br><br>
Kay</div>
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This is the issue in a nutshell. Right around 3 months the novelty wore off. Suddenly DD who had almost self-weaned was a nursing machine again and she was always asking me to put the baby down and nurse her. I keep hoping that as the baby gets bigger and more mobile and responsive that things will get better. Thanks for the encouragement.<br><br>
Kirstie I had been doing really well on hydration but I was still feeling thirsty so maybe I was just really catching up. The last two days haven't been as bad so maybe that was some of it. I would love to take my boobs off and hand one to her. :LOL<br><br>
Thanks ladies.
 
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