[gigismom]

I really need to be reminded why I am doing this. I can sit and give a list of reasons in my head but I need to hear it from others. I have nursed into early childhood before with dd1 and dd2 is currently nursing at 3 years. I am pg with baby #3 and due in about 2 weeks. I am at my breaking point with nursing my 3 year old. To see the words in print makes me tear up. She is night weaned... did this herself before I got pg. However, she nurses MULTIPLE times per day, like whenever I sit or even stand still long enough for her to catch me!

She also nurses to sleep and first thing in the morning. These 2 session can last 45 minutes to an hour. These are the ones that really get me. I just can not stand the feeling of her nursing anymore. I can use distractions visualization and my hypnobabies practice to get through it for awhile but after about a half an hour of constant sucking I am ready to pull my hair out!! Of course, she senses this and just wants to nurse more. Yesterday, she took the dreaded nap in the afternoon and then took over an hour to fall asleep. I should have just waited and put her to sleep later but I was exhausted myself... I became really agitated and actually tried to get her to stop and she became upset and it was all downhill from there. She did end of nursing to sleep after that but then woke up crying a couple of hours later.... this is so unlike her so I know it is because of my little temper tantrum. I have to get through this. I know it will get better after baby is born. I am obviously committed to this. I just wish she would accept SOME limits.

I need to have a conversation with other supportive moms... please help

peace
jen

 

[mysticmomma]

Oh god I so know how you feel. My dd was exactly like that at 2.5 right before my son was born. We dropped the morning feed. It was a fight at first, but I just told her the weps (her term for nursing) won't work anymore until mommy has breakfast. After breakfast, if she still wanted to nurse, I'd let her, but only for a few mintues. I'd bribe her with something fun, going to the park, the mall, whatever. Doing playdough. The CLW's may flame me, but I couldn't stand the way it felt when she nursed anymore. It still isnt' fun for me anymore, but she is not "weanable", and I wouldn't want to anyway. She still really needs it, and it is awfully handy sometimes. You are doing the right thing, and it sucks a lot right now. Kudos to you mama. It will pass, the sensitivity will decrease a few weeks PP. Good luck. Tandem nursing brings its own set of insanity and love.

 

[gigismom]

Thanks for your reply.... at this point I wish she would accept some limits. however, she is clearly unable or unwilling to. I would love to drop one of the longer nursings of the day (either morning or to sleep at night) but she just can not right now. I want to give her what she needs but I feel very "used up" right now. It does help so much to hear other moms with similar feelings.... thanks for your feed back

jen

 

[naismama]

Oh, major ((hugs))!!! I am almost exactly where you are right now. I am due in 2 weeks and dd is 26 months old. She is so attached to "nanny" and "other nanny" that she has given them our last name--i.e. "Nanny Smith" and "Other Nanny Smith." She is nightweaned but nurses maybe 6 times a day. I grit my teeth and tell myself that we've been through worse; I nursed her through severe hyperemesis. I think at this point, even though I hate nursing, I only hate it half as much as I did earlier in pregnancy. But it is still such a challenge. One thing I have started doing with her is ending our sessions with a counting game. I tell her I am going to count her down and then she has to pop off. I count to ten. Inevitably she will pop off and say, "mommy, do eleven twelve thirteen." Then I let her relatch and count from 11 to 20. Then she'll pop off and say, "mommy do twenty-one, twenty-two" etc. She's learned to count up to thirty six or so this way and she has a lot of fun doing it so that by the time I've counted up past her knowledge, she's ready to go play. Another thing we do is experiment with ways to unlatch (she's very dramatic). She likes to pop off with a loud smack, closing her eyes, making a funny face, reciting a nursery rhyme, etc. This has been very successful and makes her feel as though she has some control--very important to her.

I don't know whether any of what I've explained makes sense, but I guess the point I'm making is that I've forced myself to get creative

I also try to remind myself that these are my last days with her as my only baby. I mean I really try to do a mental pause and feel the weight of that truth. That has helped me a lot too.

I hope you get some good suggestions on this thread. I really, REALLY feel you with the multiple nurse-a-thons and this big belly and being so tired and you have another LO too (!!!). I hope you find some peace soon.

--naismama

 

[gigismom]

Thanks for the suggestions.... It's times like this that I forget to be playful. I love the dramatic ending idea and the counting up idea, too! I think she would be into this and making it fun would help her buy into it. It is always easier to get cooperation from a 3 year old in any situation if you try to be fun... we will try some of this tomarrow. Tonight bedtime was much better. This too shall pass, I guess. I was thinking also about how her baby-hood is about to change. It made me feel melancholy, no wonder she is struggling! Thanks again for the support and ideas. I know we are not alone on this journey though we may be hard to find irl. I treasure the support I get on MDC

peace

jen

 

[Phoenix_Rising]

I have not yet nursed a babe to 3 years old or nursed while pregnant but I hope to do both of those things. I think that most (and maybe all, if we were all completely honest) of have had times where we have thought "oh my gosh, please please please finish quickly". I know I do at least

At any rate I just wanted to say that you are doing something so wonderful for and with your daughter.
One thing that has started to work for me is the dramatic counting thing when I get to that space that I *need* him to unlatch. I say that I'm going to count to five and let's see if he can let go when I get to five. Most of the time he is unlatched at two or three. If he starts fussing/crying to relatch I try to see if he'll let me get away with playing. I kiss him on his nose, then his mouth, then each of his ears, and then he has to do the same. Soon he has forgotten about it and I have about another half hour before he wants to relatch

:
Seriously though, I hope you can find something here that will help.