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supportive partners!

440 Views 9 Replies 9 Participants Last post by  Sconnie
Since a few threads have been about partners encouraging weaning I thought it'd be nice to share some positive stories about our partners attitudes towards bfing.

I'll add some in a bit NAK atm.
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At times I feel drained nursing my 13 month old and feel tempted to wean her but my dh is my biggest nursing champion-he always rallies me when I need it. If it weren't for his support it would be very hard to keep going some days.
alex tells me all the time, I'm so glad you nurse, could you imagine all the times we'd forget to bring formula??

When she was tiny and I was sore, he used to wiggle her in front of my face and say "MOMMMA I NEEEEED YOU I JUST WANT SOME NUUUURSIES, I LOVE YOU!!!!"

and it helped, sounds silly I know
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I don't know if my partner is so much supportive as insistent on extended nursing. When I get sick of nursing every 5 seconds and say that I want to wean my littlest guy, he gets so indignant and tells me there's no way I can wean him, he's way too young! The baby in question is 15 mos. old.

My 4 yr. old still nurses and he's pretty supportive of whatever I want to do in regards to that situation... sometimes I want to wean and he encourages me, others I want to keep going and he encourages me... I guess I listen more to the encouragement to keep going because I have so far!
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When his family (or anyone else for that matter) asks when we are going to wean dd (currently 17 months) DH says "We'll cut her off on prom night."

I am not good at dealing with negative comments or questions that seem to be judgemental of our choices, so he acts as my shield and defends our right to parent the way we choose.
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My husband's always telling me how proud he is of me for breastfeeding and telling me how beautiful he finds me when I'm feeding our child.

I had mastitis in the beginning and would just cry during a nursing session. He'd keep reminding me how much good we were doing our child and he'd give me his hand to squeeze when the baby was latching on.

He's really proud to see me nurse in public too. If anyone were to ever say anything, I think he'd lash out on them before I even got a chance to!

Even though he finds extended bfing a bit odd (and really just because he's never seen it), he's promised to support me anyway... but if I know my husband, in a few months I'll overhear him telling his friends how important breastfeeding until at least age two is!
My d/f is a huge breastfeeding guy!!! He gets really upset when he sees a baby on a bottle. Really mad when he sees people staring and talking when Im breastfeeding in public...hes a really easy going guy but he knows it makes me uncomfortable when people stare(my babies only 7 months)!!!!
He always makes me laugh by saying think of the SUPER HUMAN we'll have if you keep breastfeeding...try to go until hes 7!! Im not sure about that long lol! But he really wants to see me breatsfeeding our son while preggers and barefoot in the garden!! LOL! In the words of my family "those crazy hippies"
My dh is pretty supportive of ebf. I nursed my ds until he was 3 years old and am still nursing 22 month old dd. I know that he understands ebf is great for children of all ages but I'm sure a lot of his support comes from the fact that it just makes things a whole lot easier (for him
) - no bottles, no dealing with the nightwakings, perfect meltdown fixer, etc... He really is a great guy - not just lazy
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DH had a countdown going 'til 1 (since I'd told him that babies wean around 1 year of age, Mom said so and I didn't research much beyond that when Ina was little) - partially because he's a breast man and partially because I was on a really restrictive ED with Ina and he wanted me to be able to eat regular food again too.

But Ina's allergies were still there as she approached a year of age. I started researching "extended" breastfeeding because we were afraid she'd wean before there would be a safe, accessible (and cheap and delicious) calcium source to replace my milk ... was pleasantly surprised to read that as long as I didn't buy into some of the mainstream info about solids introduction etc., Ina would likely nurse 'til 2 or older. The more I researched it, the more sold I was on it. And as I researched and read up, I'd read things to dh too. And he became more supportive as he learned more too.

Ina was about 18 months when he laughed at his sister while talking on the phone with her, after she told him that Ina was too old to keep nursing and should be weaned. He thought she was kidding, since *everyone* knows that babies should nurse 'til 2 or older. (I wish!) .... She hung up on him, she was so mad at him.

Anyway, I think that it is very possible to help a dp move from "ewww, that's awfully old," to "Yes, it's good, but what will X/Y/Z think?" to "What's wrong with X,Y,Z for NOT bf their baby this long (or longer)?" That's the progression that dh has followed. He went from doing a blanket dance while we were NIP an infant, to walking calmly through a zoo while I carried a nursing 18 month old, and beyond. Any more, he's actually quite judgmental of people who wean at a year!
In some ways, he's a much more brutal and open lactivist about that sort of thing.

I think a large part of his change of heart (beyond the research and actually seeing it happen) is that he's seen how much it helped Ina as a toddler, to still be bf. When we were gently weaning during my pregnancy with SJ (nursing while pregnant was awful for me
I'd hoped to do CLW with Ina but it was not workable) - he would come and remind me how very much our 2 1/2 year old needed to nurse, and how important it was for her. He was very much an advocate for her at a time when she and I both needed that.

I love my dh!
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Before the baby was born, DH never gave two cents' worth of thought to nursing. He has kept an open mind and has learned quite a bit about nursing. I think he was a little disappointed when he found out from his mother that he himself was only nursed for a few weeks.

The bebe is 16 months now. DH totally follows my lead in managing our breastfeeding relationship. If I were to decide to wean now (not that there's any danger of that) he would be a little disappointed but he is supportive of what I want to do.
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