[Marlet]

Not of the gender sort.

Seems to me, from reading the chat thread, we have more than a couple surprise pregnancies for December. I thought maybe we could have a little thread to ourselves? I can't be the only one ripping through certain emotions.

I am prone to prenatal depression. With DD1 I didn't realize that's what it was (and I felt horrible for feeling that way) but by the tme DD2 came around I was aware of it. In fact that was one of the reasons I took a test. With DD1 I sorta suffered through it and didn't say anything to anyone (except for one freak out to DH

). With DD2 I made it a point to get out and about and eat a bit better (which wasn't hard due to our better financial set-up

DD1 was here before our first anniversary so we were on a newlyweds budget during that pregnancy

). Not sure what it was but it was a bit more managable (especially once I got over the denial and tookt he test and could put a face to the issue

).

So far I think I'm doing ok this time. I did have a bit of a rough patch last week but it was due to a lack of communication with DH. Once I got the guts up to ask him what was on my mind (and get an answer I wasn't expecting

) it helped pull me out of my funk. I'm trying not to dwell on it though and am avoiding anyone/thing that will get me in that place. I'm prone to depression anyhow due to genetics and once I get even near that frame of thought I can easily get sucked in.

I'm excited I am doing so well so far. I expected to be a bit down once I realized I was pregnant (we were avoiding). So far I think I have hit every emotion possible but am slowly leaning towards minimal excitement.

Like I said in my "Anyone not telling people yet?" thread, I'm avoiding telling my family. I don't need their negativity on top of it all. Plus, like my sister pointed out, I enjoy not telling them things for awhile. Not. I really hate that she thinks that. That everyone in my family thinks I like to be secretive and keep them out of the loop because of some misguided thinking that they don't understand me.

:

Ok, so that's long enough.

How are the other surprise mamas doing?

ETA: I just realized I used seven, 7!, laughing smilies in this one single post. I think I need to be put on a ban. I like him though. I like him a lot.

Crap...there's 8.....

 

[flapjack]

Oh boy, yes, I'm here.

I'm marginally excited. I'd feel happier being sicker. I'd feel happier being out of the first trimester, because the worst thing I can imagine right now is resigning myself to this pregnancy and then losing it. And it is resignation, because I was very done before this. The idea of three under five fills me with terror, having to postpone my training is bugging me, my oldest had a big serious discussion with abortion with me the night we told him

: so many reasons why this is the wrong thing at the wrong time. I am very, very pro-choice, but DH actively wants this baby and is scheduling parental leave not only for the birth but also for my first month at college.
I have a history of postnatal depression, sometimes prenatal as well, but so far I'm doing OK. I'm struggling to keep my emotions in check when I'm overtired, so I'm just not getting overtired and that's working so far

: I NEED to address my weight and my eating habits, because the SPD is going to suck anyhow and the less I can feel it's self-inflicted, the easier it will be to deal with emotionally.
Sucks, doesn't it? I wish I was more excited about this one, I really do.

 

[Marlet]

Quote:

Originally Posted by flapjack I'm struggling to keep my emotions in check when I'm overtired, so I'm just not getting overtired and that's working so far .

that: though. I snapped at DD1 today over nothing really and realizzed I could seriously use a nap. I'm trying hard to stay mellow but I am easily triggered without the extra hormones so this isn't helping.

 

[celestialdreamer]

Oh I'm right there with you mamas

:

My youngest just turned a year and was my homebirth turned c/s, and I live in a very VBAC unfriendly place. I didn't want another baby so soon, let alone the issues regarding VBAC with the age spacing. I totally freaked out at first and just couldn't quit sobbing. Now that I've had a few weeks to get used to the idea and found out that I can still have an HBAC (

: ) I'm much calmer. I'm still stressed about how I'm going to handle this new baby in addition to a toddler that will be 19-20 months, a 3.5yo and a 5.5 yo

: I just try not to think about the logistics too much or I'll drive myself crazy. I really am excited about the actual baby now

it is just everything else that stresses me.

ETA: We haven't really told many people yet, I'm not looking forward to their idiot comments. Usually people say "wow! you know what causes this right?"

And I'm not really looking forward the family members asking me what hospital I'll be having my c/s at that they assume I'm having. Ugh. I just feel like I'd be perfectly happy hibernating until maybe February-ish.

 

[Doberbrat]

I'm kinda here. edd was Nov 29 and then they moved it to Dec 5 but I'll prob go early again.

I'm really struggling. dh is majorily depressed - he was before too.. He isnt speaking to me, refuses to go to marital counseling b/c he's going to individual therapy and I'm sicker than a dog w/HG and exhaustion w/a 3.5yo to take care of as well as the house, 2 dogs and a job.

I'm also realizing that neither of us 'wants' a baby. not that we wont welcome it in our lives, but its a very different feeling than dd whom we tried hard to get and were so ecstatic over when I got pg.

just not a fun place in my world right now.

I'm trying hard to hold onto my faith. G-d has a plan. All I need to do is have Faith and Trust Him right?

 

[VegMomma]

Here! Well, mostly. We weren't actively not trying, but I totally wasn't expecting to get pregnant right after my first PPAF. We are feeling mostly good about it. DH seems happy, even though he wasn't sure he wanted 3 kids. (I would love 4. there's no way he's going for that

)

I would have liked to have DS2 weaned and sleeping well before getting pg, so that DH and I could both enjoy at least a few months of solid, non-pregnant sleep, but c'est la vie. I also (selfish alert!) am bummed because I really wanted to get my nose re-pierced before getting pg

. I guess maybe in... 3 more years.

But, nose piercing and sleepless nights aside, all is well. No real complaints here.

 

[celestialdreamer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doberbrat I'm kinda here. edd was Nov 29 and then they moved it to Dec 5 but I'll prob go early again. I'm really struggling. dh is majorily depressed - he was before too.. He isnt speaking to me, refuses to go to marital counseling b/c he's going to individual therapy and I'm sicker than a dog w/HG and exhaustion w/a 3.5yo to take care of as well as the house, 2 dogs and a job. I'm also realizing that neither of us 'wants' a baby. not that we wont welcome it in our lives, but its a very different feeling than dd whom we tried hard to get and were so ecstatic over when I got pg. just not a fun place in my world right now. I'm trying hard to hold onto my faith. G-d has a plan. All I need to do is have Faith and Trust Him right?

 

[flapjack]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doberbrat I'm kinda here. edd was Nov 29 and then they moved it to Dec 5 but I'll prob go early again. I'm really struggling. dh is majorily depressed - he was before too.. He isnt speaking to me, refuses to go to marital counseling b/c he's going to individual therapy and I'm sicker than a dog w/HG and exhaustion w/a 3.5yo to take care of as well as the house, 2 dogs and a job. I'm also realizing that neither of us 'wants' a baby. not that we wont welcome it in our lives, but its a very different feeling than dd whom we tried hard to get and were so ecstatic over when I got pg. just not a fun place in my world right now. I'm trying hard to hold onto my faith. G-d has a plan. All I need to do is have Faith and Trust Him right?

Erm. That's not how I see it, but I'm trying not to get the thread locked. Leaving aside the fact that safe, legal alternatives exist if you so wish, I believe that the divine resides within us, not as an external force. You are important, and not just as a vessel or a means to an end.

 

[tallulahma]

well, this was a huge shock to us... it definitely wasnt in the "plan" to have our kids this close together.... but I guess when you use POM as your form of birth control you do not really get to say there is a real plan.

Im excited. At first there were lots of OMG, and freak outs about having a newborn, 19 month old and 4.5 year old. Lots of freak outs.

I am starting to really feel well equipped to do this, so thats good news. My biggest fear is that dd2 will wean or my milk will dry up. i really want her to get a full 2 years at least.

 

[InstinctiveMom]

Ours is a surprise as well. Dh has been adamant about not having another baby since ds2 was born (now almost 6yrs old), but not "committed" enough to to having another to go get a vasectomy.

He was shocked, and not exactly in the good way, but he's coming round to the idea now, I think.

((hugs)) to you who struggle with depression - in any form, it makes things more difficult, and I hope you ladies get the support you need!

 

[ursusarctos]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doberbrat I'm trying hard to hold onto my faith. G-d has a plan. All I need to do is have Faith and Trust Him right?

(

) I'll say right up front that I am very pro-choice and not religious in the formal sense, but I agree. In my experience though the "plan" looks very little like what one expects. Good luck! I think your faith is a great asset in this situation.

 

[SunShineSally]

Quote:

Originally Posted by OtherMother'n'Madre Like I said in my "Anyone not telling people yet?" thread, I'm avoiding telling my family. I don't need their negativity on top of it all. Plus, like my sister pointed out, I enjoy not telling them things for awhile. Not. I really hate that she thinks that. That everyone in my family thinks I like to be secretive and keep them out of the loop because of some misguided thinking that they don't understand me. : Ok, so that's long enough. How are the other surprise mamas doing? ETA: I just realized I used seven, 7!, laughing smilies in this one single post. I think I need to be put on a ban. I like him though. I like him a lot. Crap...there's 8.....

I am abusive with the smilies also

Just had to say that but they are fun and get you point across when nothing else will

<--- I just never used that one before

I am also not telling everyone I did finally tell my sister and that took a huge weight off my shoulders she is my best friend and closest person to me next to STBDH.
This one just like Ds is a giant suprise but that is what I get listening to my OB because "the pill is safer than a condom to prevent pregnancy............. ohh they have changed so much since the last time you took the pill........pregnancy wont happen again for you while on the pill like I said they are totally different!" Well okay here I am

he was so right

My fear is that my family is going to think we are marrying because of the baby and that is just not the case we may marry before he or she is here but I never wanted a long engagement anyway! STBDH is even wearing his wedding ring already

We talked about marriage way befoe this happened because he wants to adopt my Ds he even talking to people calls him HIS son.

okay ramble done

 

[Marlet]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doberbrat I'm kinda here. edd was Nov 29 and then they moved it to Dec 5 but I'll prob go early again. I'm really struggling. dh is majorily depressed - he was before too.. He isnt speaking to me, refuses to go to marital counseling b/c he's going to individual therapy and I'm sicker than a dog w/HG and exhaustion w/a 3.5yo to take care of as well as the house, 2 dogs and a job. I'm also realizing that neither of us 'wants' a baby. not that we wont welcome it in our lives, but its a very different feeling than dd whom we tried hard to get and were so ecstatic over when I got pg. just not a fun place in my world right now. I'm trying hard to hold onto my faith. G-d has a plan. All I need to do is have Faith and Trust Him right?

Also not wanting to close this thread but you don't have to stay with a current situation if you don't want to. Know your options and no matter what you decide research them well.

 

[Doberbrat]

just to lay the issue to rest I will Forever defend a woman's right to choice Fully knowing that its a Choice I would never make for myself.

besides, I'm very good at getting pg, not so good at staying that way. so if this one sticks, its in the Plan.

My husband will come around, people raise kids on lots less than we have and maybe its just an opportunity to find my way back to a stronger Faith.

If I could keep something down, my outlook might even improve.

 

[osburnsa]

Another pseudo-surprise here. My toddler had lost my thermometer so I hadn't been temping for 2 months. We were active on a day when I knew there was a possibility of conception, but it was a risk we were both willing to take. We have had fertility issues in the past so I really didn't expect this to happen, but I'm happy with it. I think my dh is worried about having to support another child, but we're ok with it. I'm still a little stunned, having a hard time believing it, but I am also one who believes in God's plan so I am just trying to get past the shock so that I can fully embrace this pregnancy.

 

[flapjack]

Doberbrat, I know how you feel about "if it sticks." I'm finding it really weird having a freak pregnancy after having to work so hard to get pregnant with River.

 

[Awaken]

Well I belong here! Big surprise, and I'm not quite to the super happy pregnancy mama phase yet. (And dh certainly isn't thrilled). I feel bad b/c we were so happy and elated with our other children, I feel like this one is getting slighted by us not feeling totally loving and accepting and excited from the beginning. I'm sure those feelings will grow over time as this all becomes more "real". I just know how hard it is to have kids at this point- the first time, I didn't know what to expect and was just the glowing happy pregnant woman, the second baby (which was after a loss) I knew it was hard but hadn't experienced 2 kids yet. Now I KNOW how tough it is and don't know how I'll be able to handle it. I feel in over my head most of the time with 2, I can't imagine being able to do this with the sleep deprivation and all-consuming needs that a baby has.

I'm also a bit disappointed for several reasons, first of all I had just started a business after spending my whole life trying to figure out what I'm good at. I felt like I finally found that and have been excited to embark on a completely new venture now that my kids are older. Now I don't see how I'll be able to work at all, since we homeschool and putting 3 kids in daycare wouldn't even be worth working.

Also, I need to take sleeping medications for longstanding issues I have, and have been relieved to finally not be pregnant or nursing a little baby so I can finally take them when I need to. Now I feel like I'm looking at years more of horrible sleep and being completely non-functional in life.

And of course I also felt like there was some glimmer of hope that someday I'd be able to spend time with my husband again, we barely get any time together as it is and now I feel like I'll never get a chance to talk to him again! We have no family in the area (and even if they were to come visit, they're not competent or capable of caring for 3 small kids)so now I can't even see how we'll even ever have a date or be alone again for years. But I definitely want to learn from all you mamas of multiple kids how you manage to continue a relationship with your partner, particularly those who don't have any outside help or support.

I hope this all doesn't sound completely selfish. I know I can work in the future, and spend time with my dh in the future and being present with your kids is the most important thing. I just thought my life was headed in one direction, only to find all of it is on hold for the forseeable future.

 

[flapjack]

Erm, with total seriousness, what's wrong with being selfish? What's wrong with having career goals and aspirations for yourself? For being able to support yourself in old age and not be dependent on the kids? How is being a SAHM a more valid choice than not, seriously?
And yes, this comes from the woman who was trying to figure out if she could find childcare for a 2 week old newborn so she could study and have this baby. I'm not going to try, but the thought did cross my mind.
It's probably highly un-MDC, but I require children to go to sleep at a reasonable hour (8ish) so I get some down time in the evening, which includes time with DH. River's sleep is crap, so I don't always get this, which is one of the reasons why the PND was so bad this time round- I was simply tired and not getting enough me-time.
We don't do dates, don't go out, don't have lives. We don't cosleep as a lifestyle choice either (kwim, right? Baby ends up in our bed because I nurse lying down and fall asleep sometimes, not for any other reason) which means that we get that time to talk too.

 

[ChristSavesAll]

I'm here by surprise as well, my dd is 8 months old so I wasn't expecting to get pregnant right now. I was really worried about telling dh because a couple months before, he didn't even want to have sex, he was terrified of me getting pregnant again, I assured him I wouldn't...

But a couple days after feeling nausea and pretty much realizing I was preggo, he asked me while we were shopping at petsmart if I'd thought about having more kids right now. That was a big surprise, apparently God has plans for this little one, I'm so thankful that my husband is happy and excited this time around. Before getting pg with dd we lost a baby and he was so detached from my pg with dd expecting that we'd lose her too... That pg was miserable in that I had no support from him, I even had a UC and he was really uninvolved in that too, thankfully my mom was there and was very supportive even if she was worried about how it'd turn out.

I'm very excited this time around, though I seriously could do WITHOUT the nausea, I can't even go shopping I just feel horrible. I've found that Chamomile tea helps though but I wonder if I could just drink that all day long... eh I'll probably get sick of that too.

I'm excited about another UC too, though this time I want DH catching, and it was never videotaped last time so that's a must this time around.

 

[ChristSavesAll]

Awaken.. Have you tried natural methods to help you sleep? Melatonin is great... you really should be getting all your vitamins and minerals, iodine is very important and not many people know about it... you can read my story my cure in my sig..