Surviving our Move, etc.???

352 Views 3 Replies 3 Participants Last post by mamaverdi, Jun 15, 2007

Sierra

Discussion Starter · Jun 15, 2007

A little background:

1. We are going to be moving to the opposite coast in a couple of months. This was a fairly recent decision, and there is tons to do to get ready to sell our house, pack up and get moved, and purchase a new house up there...let alone stuff I need to do to get finished up at work.

2. My dfd's bmom was supposed to be tried in the matter of her parental rights a week or two ago, but the trial was delayed by at least a month. We are waiting to find out if we can adopt her. If we can't, it will complicate our move/crossing state lines. I may have to move in advance of the rest of the family, and my dw might need to stay in state with our kids for an indefinite period!

3. The delay of the trial may also necessitate a cancelation of a much needed vacation we have coming up in two weeks. We are still waiting on news about that.

Needless to say, I think there is some major tension in the air in our house, as much as I'd like to think we are maintaining normalcy for our kids. In addition, the house is in a state of total chaos as we pack up, and there is the additional craziness of having contractors in and out doing various things.

I think it has been just enough to make ds' fragile neurological system dysregulate again, after all the great progress he's been making. He's not been tolerating his HANDLE therapies...we can get through maybe a couple minutes of them with him before he either tells us to stop or his ears begin to turn red (sign of neurological stress). AND it is meltdown city here. He is in FULL meltdown about 80% of the day.

Anybody been there? What can we do to help him get through?

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aiccerb

· #2 · Jun 15, 2007

Oh man thats a lot of change and stress all at one time

We went through a huge period of stress in the fall and our ds just wasnt able to handle it at all. He shuts down as opposed to a melt down when he is unregulated and we lost a bunch of ground at that time too.

We landed up cutting back on services to ones he really enjoys a lot and lowered our expectations of him for a few weeks until we got the tone of the house and stress down to a more managable level. It was more of a "dont sweat the small stuff" phase around here. For eg: If he was eating we were happy even if it wasnt as healthy as we would normally like

I just figured he only has so much energy he can expend at any given time, and if a lot of his focus was going into dealing the household issues, I wasnt going to press him in other areas too. I spent a lot of time nurturing him too. He loves massage, being worn around the house etc and I just dedicated the time he would have been spending on therapies he was missing.

FWIW, once we got everything calmed down and back to normal he was at least back to where we had left off with everything and actually gained some ground in others.

Hope you have sometime for yourself through all of this too!

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Sierra

Discussion Starter · #3 · Jun 15, 2007

Thank you. I like how you framed it as him spending his energy on household issues. I KNOW that in my head, but it is good to have a reminder for my heart. I just worry about him so much, but if I think of it that way, it helps me understand that this is just a short bit of his life and that he can eventually shift his focus back to other things. And it is reassuring to hear that your son did indeed find things easier after the stressors were gone.