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Taking the plunge - advice?

466 Views 2 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  earthmama369
Well, its decided. I'm going to be a stay at home mom. Yea!
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DD is almost 18 months old, and I went back to my (high profile professional go-to-work-early, work late, work weekends, lunch breaks, take 1 week long international business trips) job when she was 3 months old. Its been a tough year and I feel like I have done neither the job I want to at work, nor be here for all the things I want to at home. But, me working another year allowed us to save up enough to refinance the mortgage, pay off some school debt, and generally allow me to stay home without constantly worrying about money.

So, now I am really excited, but also am trying to be realistic about needing to prepare for life at home. I'm viewing this truly as a career change, and want to make sure I do the prep and groundwork so that I can be successful. I will probably stay home starting the end of this summer (4ish months), so I actually have some time to get things in place for a good transition. My personality is such that if I don't have things well planned and goals to reach, I tend to get lazy and depressive. So, I already know that I need to have some sort of structure to my week (Monday is laundry and go to the library day, etc)

What advice do all you wise stay at home mammas have for a newbie? Things you wish you did before staying home, habits you think are valuable to start off with (or habits you have now that you wish you didn't!), discussions/agreements you find helpful with your DP? Anything and everything is appreciated!

A little more about our situation - we live in suburbia about 2 blocks away from the bus route into Boston, near a park, and a town center with library, church that we attend, etc. So, we have a world of options, and basically anything I can think to get involved in probably exists here.
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My advice is to join some mother/play groups in your area. It's important to make friends with other parents who have young children, not only to discuss child-related matters, but also to NOT discuss child-related matters. And you will want to talk about your little one a lot, and the people you used to work with are not going to be very interested. In fact, if you are like me, you will pretty much lose contact with them because your interests are no longer the same.

The other advice I have is to relax about the housework. Your job as a sahm means all the work you do gets undone, most things almost immediately. I was used to finished projects at work and having them DONE, but at home everything you do needs to be done again over and over. So, don't get caught up in the never-ending work; leave the house messy and the laundry stacked up and sit down and play with your little one.

Boston is a beautiful place to have a baby! Our daughter was born in Cambridge and there are so many beautiful parks and flowers and museums there - lots of wonderful things to do! Good luck!
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Enjoy it.


I wouldn't worry about finding my "place" right away. I'd try out different playgroups, parks, routines, activities, and see what I and my kiddo liked best, then go back to those.

Just like a child transitioning from school to homeschooling needs some time to "deschool," take a month or three to decompress. I found I was conditioned in ways I didn't even imagine to respond to stress, create deadlines for myself, jump to answer the phone, etc. when I quit my job and stayed home the first time. It took a few months to really get into the swing of things, and then I felt like I had the perspective I needed to evaluate what I wanted to be doing and how I wanted to do it, rather than judging everything by my old standards, which no longer applied.
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