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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
DH and I want a 3rd child, we are considering persuing a domestic adoption becuase we percieve a NEED for parents open to non-white children. We want a healthy infant but are open to any race/gender. My question is, is there truly a need? We have 2 biological children and there is no reason we cannot have a 3rd, but we feel like we have to inherent desire to have a biological child if there are already children needing placement. Now I understand that in open adoption the birth parents pick from a pool, but is there really a shortage of potential adoptive families for AA/MR babes in the US?<br><br>
Thanks
 

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That's a really good question! I think that people quickly will say YES there is a huge need. And I think that's partly true. There is definitely a huge need for foster adopt...often older children. That's rather obvious. And there is a bigger need for families for special needs infants.<br><br>
I think that more and more people have turned to transracial adoption. Unfortunately, often not for the best of reasons. Some will go that direction because it might be quicker to get a placement, fees may be less, and so on.<br><br>
There does seem to be this misconception that if one is open to AA adoption that they will have lots to choose from. Almost like - ok I'm ready... go down to the market and pick out a baby!<br><br>
There also seems to be this idea out there that AA domestic adoptions are very simple. Interestingly enough our attorney just had a conversation with us recently about this. She said that she feels that transracial (AA specifically) adoptions are much tougher. There is a strong cultural aspect and she finds that more AA women making adoption plans will end up not placing than CC women. Obviously that's not a scientific study. It's based on her many years of working with adoptions. I understand her comments...I've watched it happen many times. Even with our own adoption there was huge family pressure to not place, no matter how bad the circumstances were.<br><br>
So I'm really rambling here.<br><br>
I personally believe there is definitely a need. However, I don't think it means that adoptions are easier or quicker.<br><br>
All that being said...there are still those out there who get called very quickly and/or have almost instant placements.<br><br>
Personally...I think things always happen as they are meant to and when it's time for your child to come to you they do...in whatever way they do. I also personally feel that going into adoption needs to be much more than about a need out there.
 

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I will try to answer as best I can. I just within the last two weeks talked to several different domestic adoption agencies. I too was hoping that by being open to other ethnicities would mean a shorter wait. When I called I guess I specifically asked for lation or hispanic children. I said that would be my ideal preference and asked if there was a long wait. Both SW said basically the same thing. That like 5 years ago there was a huge "need" for healthy and white babies. But since then international adoption has really boomed and people seem more open to other races and cultures. So while there is still some need or demand it is no where near where it was 5 years ago. For me directly she said wanting a hispanic child could be a good or bad thing. On one hand a prospective birthmom will see that we have already adopted a child from the same region and may be more willing to select us based on that alone. She would know that her child would also have a sibling similar in appearance and background. On the other hand latinos and hispanics in general have a greater sense of an extended family. And hypothetically there is usually a family member who would take the baby in and raise it just to keep it within the extended family. I honestly am not sure about biracial, african american, or other races, but I would guess it is along the same lines as people being more open than in the past.<br><br>
As far as special needs I am clueless. We just don't feel like at this time we would be able or capable to handle it. If Olivia were to come down with something now we certainly would handle it and not turn her away but we really don't want to take on more than we can handle. HTH.<br><br>
I do know she said there is a great need for families willing to take older children, so this may be an option for you. Sadly we are considered too young to adopt an older child., so it could depend on your age as well.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>clothcrazymom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6501143"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Personally...I think things always happen as they are meant to and when it's time for your child to come to you they do...in whatever way they do. I also personally feel that going into adoption needs to be much more than about a need out there.</div>
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While I appreciate that need isn't the core issue, for me it is the startig point, the make or break issue, if after all I conclude there is a need then adoption is a route we will *consider* seriosuly for various other reasons. KWIM?<br><br>
And here FWIW is the result of what my research is I believe turning up: If by need for families you mean heterosexual, middle class, married couples, there is a real need. If you define family (which I do) to mean gays and lesbians, single, older etc, then there is no need as there are still wait times. So to me then the question becomes do mothers of AA/MR children have the right to as broad a spectrum of choices as the mothers of other children, EVEN IF that means their choices are to exclude non traditional families. My immediate response is yes they have that right, they shoud have as many varieties of families to choose from as the parents of a healthy cc nb. But this is a moral dilema I have really only begun to think about.<br><br>
I'de love to hear others opinins and experiences though!
 

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I have similar concerns as the PP. DP and I have twin girls conceived through IVF with donor sperm AND eggs due to my infertility and her advanced age. I would love to have another child, and being an adoptee myself have considered adoption as a means for growing our family. However, I am fearful to the point of doing nothing that the "system" will not be friendly to my partner and I as lesbians. It is a shame.
 

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Yes, there is a need for more families for AA/MR babies. Especially boys. Among biological parents, there tends to be a preference toward boys, esp. w/ first child. Among adoptive parents, there tends to be a preference toward girls.<br><br>
We adopted through WACAP's African American infant program, w/o specifying gender. Odds were that we would get a boy.<br><br>
Our reasons for choosing adoption were similar to yours, if I'm reading you right. We wanted another child. We probably could have gotten pregnant (probably would have had to use IUI, which in our case would have been unmedicated, fairly inexpensive, and fairly non-invasive). But we opted for adoption because we'd always been interested and felt a pull there. After some research on where the need was greatest, an AA or MR adoption sounded interesting. And then we needed to do lots of reading/researching/soul-searching to feel reasonably confident we were in a good position to accept the unique challenges/responsibilities/gifts that kind of adoption would come with.<br><br>
We were selected by a biracial mom expecting an MR baby, gender unknown, Caribbean descent (West African/British Isles ancestry). The baby was born eight days later, and we held her that day.<br><br>
If you want to talk, PM me.<br><br>
You might enjoy the book _Strangers and Kin: The American Way of Adoption_ by Barbara Melosh. Gives a fascinating history of adoption in the U.S., including the history of transracial adoption. Another great book from an historical/legal perspective: _Interracial Intimacies_ by Randall Kennedy. Awesome read.
 

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Are there non-white newborns languishing for weeks and months without adoptive parents to take them?<br>
No.<br><br>
If there were suddenly no prospective adoptive parents in the world, then, yes, the non-white babies would be harder to place. As it is, in pretty much any country, newborns/healthy infants of any race are placed pretty darn quickly with a permanent family.<br><br>
The need is for adoptive parents for older or special needs children.<br><br>
and, as one person already said, if you're looking for a non-AA (like hispanic or "light skinned" biracial) infant, the wait will be just as long as for a caucasian baby.<br>
Most agencies make you choose the race when you sign up. And most agencies don't let you choose gender. In our state, there's one agency we've found at all that lets you choose everything. So we signed up for them so we could say ANY Gender, ANY race. And, yes, most of their prospective adoptive parents want a white girl.<br><br>
If you're in NY or nearby, you could look into Spence-Chapin (<a href="http://www.spence-chapin.org/)" target="_blank">http://www.spence-chapin.org/)</a>. They make you choose race, etc. (AA, Hispanic, Caucasian, Int'l & Special Needs), but they have a sliding fee scale based on your income, not on the race of the child.<br><br>
I've veered off topic a bit, but I think my point on that is that there is not really a "need" for a parent for any race of infant. The need in this country and abroad is for parents of older or sick/special needs children. If you're willing to take one of those children into your heart and your home, you would be filling a need. Any way you go, you will be blessed with a loving child and you will be the lucky one.
 

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There is a large need. Is it going to be a snap, no...but there is a very large need.<br><br><br><b>From a 1997 CRS (Congressional Research Service) Report to Congress:</b><br><br>
African-American children are disproportionately represented in foster care, and are more likely to be waiting for adoption than to have been adopted.<br><br>
An estimated 469,073 children were in foster care at the end of 1994. Of these children, 4% were under age 1; 31% were 1-5; 35% were 6-12; and 30% were 13 or older. Almost 47% were African-American<br><br><b>From blackadministrators.org:</b><br><br>
Of the 118,000 children waiting for adoption or having a plan for adoption, 50% are African American.
 

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Hispanic, latino children in the adoption world are in the same category as caucasian. Biracial children are also more likely to be adopted with ease and have a wait to adopt one if that is what you are seeking to do.<br><br>
However if you really want to adopt a child who NEEDS a home domestically -- adopt a 100% black male child. Some of them end up going into foster care because they are considered the "least desirable". Often times the fee to adopt one is drasticly reduced. Its sad and disgusting but true.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thanks for all the thoughtfull replies. Our trying to gauge need is not because we think it will be faster but rather because we are able to have biological children. While I realize adoption is a valid way for anyone to build a family it is a hard and expensive process and not one we would put ourselves through if we felt like there were lots of other options for pbm.<br><br>
That is really what I have been trying to gauge. I spoke with PACT to try and get a clearer picture and they confirmed what I thought. Which is there are families waiting for every healthy infant in the US, BUT often times pbm of AA children and especially boys are very limited in their choices, so they often don't have families available to them who meet thier criteria. These women (and men) deserve to have as many options open to them as parents of white children.<br><br>
All that being said we have not made a decision yet because, well, this is a big question that we are still wrestling with. I realize that special needs adoption is a much bigger need but with 2 little ones already that is just not where we're at right now.<br><br>
Also we are canadien, so a) domestic for you is international for us, and b) there is a whole other set of questions I have around adopting AA children into other countries and countries with much small AA (well african candien) populations........<br><br>
But I am really enjoying the feedback here, please keep it coming!<br><br>
Heather
 
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