I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have felt this way before. For me, what seemed to help was giving up any and all expectations of my dh (really really hard to do, but once I did- every little thing he did was like a gift), and to cultivate my own interests and happiness. I just decided that I had to live my own life and stop waiting around for him to be the man I wanted. Things did change. Ideally, I think you guys should seek some couples therapy, but I know that's not always possible.