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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi everyone, big rpoblem here :-(

I have two kids, ds1 and ds2, ds1 is 2.5 y, ds2 is 15 days.
I nurse ds1 to sleep, still and do like it, but ds2 is so restless at 19 h/20 h in the evening, he cries for me, even in dh's arms.
He is all day like that, cannot lei him down, not for a second...
It is taking its toll....

Ds 1 wants "both breast"(his words) in the evening, alone, with me.
I understand and want that too...
But cannot let ds2 cry his eyes out downstairs, so end up wiht both sons, wide awake, so downstairs again and then later all three of us go to bed (dh sleeps alone downstairs, in ds's room.( too early alarmclock!!!!)

Anyway, howwwwwww doI do this???
I might go up to bed around 9, but this is too late for toddler, wqho does not nap since ds2 was born... ans I need time with dh too, not sleeping together :-(
any ideas?/

am NAKing, but ds2 is not a happy guy now, have to stop now.....

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1,698 Posts
I went through the same thing with my kids, who are about 20 months apart. It DOES get easier, because your oldest child is able to adjust and to talk more, and your youngest will get a more predictable routine. Times like those you are mentioning, I just wanted to poke my eyes out or shoot myself in the head or something.

I think your DS1 is old enough to understand that you have to take care of ds2 at times, and to wait. So...

- You are right to put your DS2 first because he is such a new baby, but I know that his hard. What happens if you delay his bedtime until right after DS2 falls asleep?

- Have you tried nursing them both at the same time? The only way I could do it then (if at all) was to side lie nurse with the baby, then let the toddler nurse from the top of me.

- Take it from me- it will pay to be able to teach your ds1 how to fall asleep with something besides your boob. I don't know that right now is the best time to try to transition him because you just added a new baby to the house. What we do is nurse then I tell him milk is done adn it's time for sleep, and he will usually pop off and I will "give him hugs" (cuddle) until I know he is out (limp-arm stage). At first he did not like this change one bit and he still will occasionally fight it, but I know he is a smart kid and that he will be fine with these new rules.

- Your toddler has been your baby up until now, and it may be hard to adjust to having another baby, even just emotionally. But remember how you treated ds1 when he was ds2's age. Your ds2 deserves to be treated like that as well. DS1 is old enough to know that he may have to wait for milk or that he may not get to have both of them. He will fight the change, but he will be fine.


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151 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Times like those you are mentioning, I just wanted to poke my eyes out or shoot myself in the head or something
yep :-(

okay, it is true, am only 3 weeks now with newborn and toddler...
it feels, though, as if I am at it for 6 months!!

ds1 does let go of the breast sometimes, just before he falls asleep and at night, he cuddles up to my back, when I am nursing ds2 and cannot (willnot :-( ) tandem nurse at that moment.
I do let him - also on my initiative- nurse during the day, he also asks for it more then before, I do understand that very mcuh..

I just wish we could do it like this: he taking his bath with daddy, then pj's on, brushing his teeth, nurse on the couch downstairs (my job) and then daddy taking him upstairs, so I can stay with ds2 downstairs, and ds1 then falling asleep next to daddy, who can come downstairs when ds1 sleeps. (what I do now)
BUt ds2 now needs to fall asleep with me and he currently has difficulty with my engorged (missspelled...???) breasts and he doesn;t want milk then , just sucking, so get supset, throws up, etc...... and then ds1 cannot fall asleep, so I end up taking ds2 down to daddy, hoping he will not get too upset and ds1 waits till I get back and nurses to sleep, within 15 min.....

But when I hear ds2 downstairs crying, I feel so bad!!! :-(

ds2 now also needs to be upright and in his wrap carrier (storchenwiege) and cannot even lay on my chest on the couch, but really cries to be in the wrap!! (he is 3 weeks.... and he knows what he wants!!!????!!!)

Anyway, I do feel very tired and upset, starting around 16 hours in the evening, stressed about how the evening will be....
I do feel your post helps, thanks so much, I do hope things will get better, and maybe I will find a way to introduce daddy in the nighttime thing????

Thanks again, somuch!

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