<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>crystalcm</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1281210/tandem-nursing-94-would-do-it-again#post_16086651"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>OP here - thanks everyone for your thoughtful and honest replies. It's given me a lot to think about, not that I haven't been thinking about this decision for months now, since before TTC (the books <em>Adventures in Tandem Nursing</em>, <em>Mothering Your Nursing Toddler</em>, and <em>How Weaning Happens</em> have been invaluable resources as well!). Due to my history of having a 33 weeker preemie due to PPROM and threatened preterm labour, my decision is made slightly more complicated. Thus far my pregnancy is not high risk, just at risk of becoming so. I also happen to have very low PAPP-A this pregnancy which only increases my risk. All that being said, I initially felt comfortable taking a wait-and-see approach paired with a decision to nightwean my DD followed by daytime weaning, leaving only nursing to sleep in place, in case my pregnancy suddenly dictated that I needed to suddenly wean her completely. Surprisingly, once my milk supply was dramatically reduced, she went along with all the changes without much complaint, and happily sought cuddles and backrubs and other touch in place of the missing nursing sessions. I think it also helped that I was committed to making the process as gentle as possible for her by allowing us until 20 weeks gestation to make all the changes (which ended up occurring by 15 weeks).</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I love our nursing relationship and am very sad to see it potentially end (especially after our difficult NICU beginnings), however aside from my potential pregnancy complications possibly dictating my need to wean, I continue to question how natural it is to nurse through a pregnancy when most of us seem to experience signs that should prompt any mammal to wean. As an example, I believe in the inherent knowledge our bodies have to go into labour and birth naturally; why should I not follow the cues my body is giving me in regards to weaning? Obviously I know we're all intelligent women capable of making a decision to continue nursing and ignore our physical and/or mental discomfort but I guess I question how natural that is?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>One PP brought up the point of focusing on my commitment level to CLW but I feel like my answer to that question isn't very straightforward. If my DD were to be an only child or my lastborn child, I totally believe in CLW (well, perhaps my own definition of CLW since I believe that nursing is a relationship, with mama being the mature adult able to make more accommodations but who is nevertheless also a person who's needs must be respected). However, I don't know that I have the same commitment to CLW when a subsequent pregnancy occurs, especially given the physical cues to wean (the most obvious of which is my milk completely drying up, not to mention the sore nipples). I guess I feel like nature may override any intellectual decision I make about CLW, if I allow it to do so. Does that make any sense? I also wonder if I ignore these cues to wean now, that perhaps the aversion a lot of women feel once actually tandem nursing is meant to prompt weaning then so you can focus solely on nursing your newborn.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The issue would be even more complicated if my first babe were not yet 2yo since my commitment to nursing for a minimum of 2 years is steadfast; we purposefully chose not to TTC until that goal could be met (as an aside, your risk of having a preemie or IUGR or a variety of other pregnancy complications is greatly reduced if you allow a minimum of 18 months between pregnancies, which also greatly influenced our decision of when to TTC). I think I would ultimately persevere to meet that nursing goal no matter what signals my pregnant body may be telling me. If only my commitment to CLW despite pregnancy was as steadfast!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If you've actually read through my novel of a post (getting it all down in writing sure helps solidify my thought process!), I might as well share that I believe I've made the decision to fully wean. I'm now 22 weeks along in this pregnancy which has become slightly more complicated by some soft markers and possible kidney issues that the baby may have. My 26mo DD continues to ask out of habit to nurse before bed but readily accepts a reminder that the milk is all gone, and without even a pause, lays across my chest for backrubs and cuddles to sleep. I've nursed her only every few days, and now on to once a week for a little while now, and plan to cease altogether by 24 weeks gestation. My gut feeling is that I will likely experience an aversion to nursing her should I allow her to do so after this baby is born, and I ultimately feel that it's kinder of me to wean her now rather than risk weaning later when her interest will have picked back up significantly due to the return of milk. I feel like we can find many other ways to stay attached and continue to foster intimacy, once of which is my commitment to long-term co-sleeping (child led 'weaning' from the family bed). I can only hope my decision is the right one for DD and I... if only I had a crystal ball that could allow me to envision the future to see how tandem nursing would actually pan out for us and the new babe. In lieu of that, I hope that the thought I've put into this decision will allow me to find peace with it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thanks again for sharing your thoughts and best wishes to all.</p>
</div>
</div>
<br><br><p>it sounds like you've made what will be a good decision for you. my decision has been to try to tandem, because DD will only be 22 months when her brother is born, and I've always been committed to nursing to at least 2. and my milk hasn't dried up, just slowly switched to colostrum, though I have limited nursing because of nipple pain, I haven't felt like I needed to completely wean. so maybe not all moms have the same level of biological urge to wean while pregnant?</p>
</p>
