[fyrflymommy]

i only have one child so i've never nursed tandemly, for the record.

has anyone here not nursed their first child, gone on to nurse their second, but not let their older child nurse at all? how did you decide not to let the other child try nursing?

i am wondering because my friend S has an almost 4mo boy that she's nursing. she also has a 3yo dd that was only nursed for about 3mo (preemie, no support, etc). i nurse my 2.5yo. S thinks it's really great that i still nurse her, and has even asked me about nursing and pumping beyond a year (she works pt right now and pumps). whenever S's dd sees me nurse mine, she gets all excited and wants to nurse from her mother and even me sometimes! and every time, S tells her "no you're too old"

: i haven't asked her yet why she doesn't just let her try. she is a very close friend so there's no problems w/ me discussing things of a very personal nature w/ her.

it just kinda bothers me that she thinks it's so great that i and other people nurse toddlers, but then she won't even let hers try it once... it bothers me bcuz she says "you're too big to nurse" in front of my daughter, who picks up conversations well. i don't want my dd to start thinking she can't nurse anymore.

so if anyone has not nursed their older child along w/ their baby, could i please pick your brain and ask why? it might help me have more insight into my friend's decision.

thanks mamas

 

[Gidget]

Could be that society in general is not supportive of bf for toddlers. Or she thinks there really is no benefits at this point. I started a thread about my dd wanting to nurse again lately at 26 months after weaning at 15. I was and am willing to let her. it would be a closet thing though as I do not have the desire to put up a fight with my family over it.

 

[Janice in Canada]

There IS a possibility that your friend WOULD let her dd try, but she think that you (and others) would think that it would be wierd. Even though you are nursing a 2 1/2 year old, it would be different to let an older kid start - I mean who's ever heard of that? And since most of the world thinks breastfeeding is a burden that you get rid of as soon as you can, why in the world would you let an older kid start again??? CRRAAAAAAZY!

I mean, I've found myself saying no to my dd, just because I think that my dh thinks she's too old to nurse, now.

SO, maybe you could let her know that you think it would be fine it she did let her dd try? If you've never talked about it, she might think you're against it. Maybe she just needs some affirmation to let herself try.

BTW, many people start out thinking nursing an older kid nursing is weird. But they just expand their horizons as their child grows, and they see that the child is not yet ready to quit. I forcibly weaned my dd#1 at about 20 months, cause I was pregnant with #2 and couldn't stand the feeling. At the time, I thought that was okay, since she had already nursed 4 times longer than any other child I knew. However, now I am still nursing her 4 1/2 year old sister. DD#1 asks about nursing, and I've even let her try this past year, once or twice (but I don't really have milk, and she doesn't know what to do). But now I look back and wonder why I didn't try harder to get her back onto the breast after #2 was born, cause #1 loved it so much.

Its common for older children to ask, LLL recommends you just let them try - they often don't really start nursing regularly, but letting them try it gets the issue off their minds. (They often don't know how to latch and suckle properly, so you have to be careful of sore nipples) Or she could express a little milk and let the older child taste it, that can satisfy their curiosity. I've fed my older daughter expressed milk when she had a stomach upset - we call it "milk medicine".

Janice

 

[fyrflymommy]

hmmm.... well her dd is only 10mo older than mine. i don't see how she would think that *I* would think it's weird.... and her family has always seen me nurse my dd and think it's great not weird.

i don't know. well i hope that she'll talk to me cuz i really wanna know!