I feel your pain OUCH! Tandem has been a rollercoaster ride emotionally for me. Like you I was soo excited to be able to nurse both my LO's. I was not ready for how strongly my feeling would be... overtouched, annoyed with Dd1, the difference in sucking from Dd2. Everything about nursing Dd1 annoyed me. I could feel her tongue and teeth and strong pull. I thought to myself, why can't she just wean already. Still, I am committed to CLW and I know how important "mama mulk" is to her. I can't imagine how hard she would be to console with out it. We did make it thru that hard time of adjustment and it has gotten easier and better. Here are some things that have helped us.
I had to teach her soft touches, asking her to be gentle and explainng that sometimes mommies milks hurt. I even showed her teeth marks and she would rub them.
We had a time limit, singing, counting, 1 minute increments, whatever worked.
I would feel overwhelmed when nursing them both at once, so I tried to keep those sessions short or if Dd1 needed milk really bad I would breath deeply and allow her just enough time so she could wait till Dd2 was done.
Night time was hard for me as Dd1 still nursed along with Dd2. I had to partially night wean Dd1 but I still let her nurse if she was really in need and could not be settled by DH
If Dd1 did something that I could not deal with while nursing like licking the nipple or pulling at it with her fingers, i gently but firmly explained that it hurt or bothered mama and not to do that if she would still like to nurse.
I hope I've been of some help. At least you know there are others tandem, CLW moms out there who have gone thru it and are still glad they have.