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tandem nursing is killing my breasts

442 Views 3 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  funkygranolamama
I was so excited about tandem nursing my almost 3 yo and my newborn (3 weeks now). When I came home from the hospital I noticed my ds (almost 3) was nursing differently. He kind of sucks and sucks until he builds extreme pressure and then kind of smacks his mouth open on my breast. repeat, repeat, repeat. That junk hurts. I've gotten to the point that I try to dissuade him from nursing because it hurts and makes me feel irritated and overtouched. I've always wanted him to wean on his own. Now I'm really wishing he would choose to wean. We've gone through alot of transitions in the past year anyway, so I refuse to take away his main source of comfort in a time like this. What can I do to make this easier? Suggestions, please......
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Tandem nursing can be tough! When I had DD, DS's suck seemed like it was CRAZY... he sucked SO hard! But, he nursed all through pregnancy hardly getting anything out through most of it... I wonder if your DS is doing that because he's impatient to get your milk out? I think it's OK to expect our older nurslings to have some manners... can you explain to him that he hurts you when you do that and to not do that anymore? Mine understood that if he bites (really it's just his teeth rubbing but he's always had kind of a crappy latch) I will stop him, I do it gently of course but that's our biggest hangup right now.

Does this sound like something that might help you?
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I feel your pain OUCH! Tandem has been a rollercoaster ride emotionally for me. Like you I was soo excited to be able to nurse both my LO's. I was not ready for how strongly my feeling would be... overtouched, annoyed with Dd1, the difference in sucking from Dd2. Everything about nursing Dd1 annoyed me. I could feel her tongue and teeth and strong pull. I thought to myself, why can't she just wean already. Still, I am committed to CLW and I know how important "mama mulk" is to her. I can't imagine how hard she would be to console with out it. We did make it thru that hard time of adjustment and it has gotten easier and better. Here are some things that have helped us.

I had to teach her soft touches, asking her to be gentle and explainng that sometimes mommies milks hurt. I even showed her teeth marks and she would rub them.

We had a time limit, singing, counting, 1 minute increments, whatever worked.

I would feel overwhelmed when nursing them both at once, so I tried to keep those sessions short or if Dd1 needed milk really bad I would breath deeply and allow her just enough time so she could wait till Dd2 was done.

Night time was hard for me as Dd1 still nursed along with Dd2. I had to partially night wean Dd1 but I still let her nurse if she was really in need and could not be settled by DH

If Dd1 did something that I could not deal with while nursing like licking the nipple or pulling at it with her fingers, i gently but firmly explained that it hurt or bothered mama and not to do that if she would still like to nurse.

I hope I've been of some help. At least you know there are others tandem, CLW moms out there who have gone thru it and are still glad they have.

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It's really hard because he did nurse all through pregnancy, but now there is such an overabundance of milk and he shouldn't feel like he has to work harder to get it out. I explain that it hurts and I'm trying to gently make him lean toward nursing at bedtime, naptime and first thing in a.m. He's not really goin for that... He wants to nurse every time baby nurses, and with a newborn you know how that is. I tell him he can nurse, but just for a minute because it hurts right now. He says "I be careful!". I don't think he quite gets careful. I get so annoyed when they nurse at the same time. My breasts are extremely lopsided and the difference between that and the pressure difference in their sucking drives me bonkers. It does reassure me to hear I'm not awful for feeling this way. I'm still open to all suggestions...
thanks for answering.
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