[Ks Mama]

Quick question for tandem moms...
I have a newborn & a 2.5 year old. My toddler has been steadily increasing her nursing since about a week after baby was born... she's up to about 4 times per day, which works just fine. But I find myself asking her to stop occasionally before she's finished, because I'm worried about supply... i.e. I really only want her to have one side at a time, in order to "save" the other for her brother... since his nursing "schedule" is on cue feeding, and so could be any time... like 5 minutes after his sister finishes, and I want to be sure he gets enough, being a tiny newborn.

So my question is...
do I really NEED to do this, or am I just driving us both a little batty... if she drinks from both sides, will my body just start producing enough right away... do your breasts ever really EMPTY all the way anyhow, or would DD nursing both sides just leave the hindmilk for DS (which would be fine anyhow, right?)...

Thanks for sheding some light!

 

[Lovenest]

Quote:

Some mothers express concern that their toddler may be taking milk meant to nourish their baby. These mothers may take comfort in the fact that breasts are marvelous things that can adjust their production to meet the demands placed upon them--if they are asked to produce enough milk for two, they usually can! Also, most toddlers breastfeed considerably less frequently than an infant, and get most of their nutrition from other foods. ~LLL

Hope that helps mama, sounds like your breats will be able to keep up with your nursing toddler and new little bub! Congrats!!

 

[williamsmommy2002]

My oldest was 20months old when the little one was born. He nursed like crazy and I didn't limit it much. They both got chubby quick and got plenty of milk.

 

[Mama2ABCD]

if your in doubt, just do what you'd do if it was a newborn only, note how many wet diapers in a day, etc.
your body will met the demand.
i've nursed 4 for almost 11 mos and i try to keep a little track of who had what breast, but it's pointless for me.

congratulations on your new baby, and good job tandeming

your older nursling also needs this nursing time with you and i found it really made the transition of a new baby into the family a whole lot easier.

:

 

[2mama]

I am a bit concerned about this as well. I have found that if ds (2.5) nurses then the baby needs to she is fussy and is not satisfied. So I tell ds he can nurse after dd does. So dd will nurse, then ds makes sure I dry off nurseya (his new name for it) and then he gets his turn and he nurses until he is done. He often nurses until "it's all gone."

I once let him nurse in the morning then pumped before I went to work and got 1 ounce total between both breasts. I normally get 7 if neither one nursed and 3-4 if dd nursed before I pumped.

I hate to limit it but the baby needs to eat

and he needs to snack

!

 

[lizabird]

Personally, I just let the older child nurse on 1 side at a time and save the other for the next time baby wants to nurse. The baby needs the milk, the toddler wants the milk. But generally, I don't think there should be much of a concern because your body will just keep making more and more milk. The more you nurse, the more milk you will make.

Pretty handy, eh?

 

[CathMac]

While I totally agree in theory that there is enough milk for both I think it makes good sense to err on the side of the newborn. Especially in the early days when weight gain is a serious issue, as it was for us.

For the first month or so I nursed both on demand, sort of. I would nurse the newborn first on the fuller side and then switch her to the other side after 5 to 10 minutes. Then the toddler would go on the first side. As newborns my DDs weren't aggressive nursers so there would still be something left on the first side and since DD2, the toddler, was a much stronger nurser she could get even more of the hind milk than DD2, the newborn.

That's what worked for us.
~Cath

 

[queenbean]

I hope it's ok if I piggyback onto this thread, but I have a couple of questions too.

First, a little background. My daughter will be 19 months old when our next child is born. Right now, at 12 months, she's still nursing quite a lot. She nurses first thing in the morning, before both naps, before bed, and at least 4 or 5 other times throughout the day -- often more. She also nurses quite a lot at night -- sometimes she can go back to sleep without nursing at the first night waking, but after that, she needs to nurse back to sleep each time she wakes.

Now, I know that a lot can change in 7 months, but I was just wondering if I should start trying to cut back a little bit now. It's already a bit draining at this point, and if she's even nursing half this much when the baby comes, I'm going to be exhausted. If nothing else, I'd like to help her not need to nurse so much at night, but I don't know what to do -- she's very stubborn, and if she wants the boob, nothing else will do. We do bedshare for part of the night, but she starts in her own bed and seems to like it that way. I think she'd stay in her own bed all night if I'd come in and nurse her when she woke up, but I can't get up that often, so she comes to bed with me at some point during the night.

Is this something I should just wait and see, or should I get started on trying to cut back now so that it's not such a drastic change in 7 months?

 

[Mallory]

I always had so much milk I gave the newborn the empty side, so my advice might not apply

When the baby had the full side he coughed and choked and could only nurse for a couple of minutes and he was full, even if your breast is "empty" it will just mean it will take longer for the milk to come. For some babies they like to nurse for 30 minutes,for others it is too annoying not to have the milk quickly.

Figure out what works for your baby and you, I don't think either way will endanger your newborn.

queenbean, my oldest boys are 19 months apart too! I think this can be difficult for many reasons. For one the 20-26 month period is a time that lots of toddlers nurse so much, if you look at other posts chances are if it is a post about how their toddler nurses like a newborn and they don't know if they can go any longer then that little one is around those ages.

So to start off you are going to have a toddler that is at a clingy age even without adding a newborn to the mix.

I think it also helps to remember that every nursing session is filling a need, that you will have to take care of even if you aren't nursing. You will have to make a snack (and wash those dishes while taking care of the baby), or be emotionally supportive (again while taking care of the baby, which is almost counteractive in this case) or relieve the boredom, play a game, do a puzzle, go to the park, ect.

I'll admit I usually found it easier just to nurse. No one is crying, no one is writing on the walls or throwing things in the toilet, I can lay in bed and read or relax and they were both there still and quiet with me. I also nursed them both at night, and they both nursed at night until they were over three. there are some women who find that toddler nursing to be so anoying that they would rather do any thing else then nurse him.

My advice would be to expect to nurse both of them all the time until spring and if it is too much for you to go on, the easiest way to cut back a toddlers nursing is just to stay outside lots. Put the baby in the sling and spend hours outside everyday. You won't have big messes inside, the toddler and the baby will probably enjoy the outside time, and the toddler is so busy they rarely ask to nurse.

 

[queenbean]

Thanks, Mallory. I guess it's not so much that nursing her is annoying or anything like that -- I'm just exhausted! And it always has been tiring, and I just worry that I'm going to have zero energy when I'm nursing two. Between waking up multiple times a night (I can't sleep through her latch-on, so I wake up every time she does, even when she's in our bed) and nursing all day, sometimes I can barely make it through the day. I'm just wondering what it's going to be like when I have the demands of two nurslings. I want to do what's best for my children, but I'm just exhausted.

Also, I have heard (and it makes sense) that during the first few days after delivery, the older child should take a hiatus from nursing so that the newborn can get all the colostrum, and once the mature milk comes in, both babies can nurse again. How do you get a toddler to take a break from nursing for that long? Like I said, my daughter is nursing a lot, and if what you're saying about 19-month-olds holds true for her, then she'll be wanting to nurse even more then... so what do you do with a toddler who needs to nurse when you're trying to save the colostrum for the baby?

 

[ChinaDoll]

What Kellymom has to say:

Quote:

Does my newborn always need to nurse first? Although you may be advised to make sure the newborn always nurses first, this advice usually only holds for the first few days until your milk "comes in." Prior to this point your breasts are making colostrum for the newborn (and it will transition into "mature milk" in the early weeks). This "liquid gold" is high in immune properties and agents that prepare the newborn's gut for the milk to come. Because colostrum is in limited supply after birth, you will want to be sure that your newborn gets first dibs. Often tandem nursing mothers find they have such abundant supplies after their milk comes in that little coordination is necessary. By monitoring your newborn's pattern of nursing and signs of sufficient milk, you will know how best to coordinate your nurslings.

I didn't limit the toddler at the beginning; usually they were both latched at the same time, so I knew the baby was getting colostrum out of his breast.

In later days, if you're concerned about the sharing, I would actually recommend latching the toddler first to get the milk flowing, and then latch the baby after the toddler is finished (since their sessions are generally shorter) so that baby gets the hindmilk.

I had an overabundance of milk and would often nurse the toddler first, making it easier on the newborn after the first big letdown.

As I understand it, breasts never really empty, and will almost always respond to more suckling by making more milk, so if it's frustrating you to ask the toddler to wait, I wouldn't . . . just watch the baby's diapers to make sure he's getting enough wet dipes, and not too much foremilk. HTH!

 

[Ks Mama]

Thank you thank you wise ladies for all of your information!

I think I was feeling a little nervous with DS being early & on the small side, combined with my personally feeling touched out there for a while... particularly as my DD has been steadily increasing her requests for nursing.

I still feel overwhelmed at times, but this thread helped me sit back & really think about why I wanted her to continue nursing in the first place through pregnancy, and really encouraged her to keep going, even when it was uncomfortable for me. To help with the overwhelming feelings I assumed I'd feel with two... to help ease the transition from DD being in the spotlight, to sharing the spotlight... and nursing really does help that.

Now we're just working on ways to nurse at the same time. DD thinks its a trip, having milk "WITH the baby". She also likes to "save some for the baby" when she's nursing alone... and since I've relaxed a bit with having them both nurse at the same time, things ARE going more smoothly.

Anyhow, thanks for your input & ear. There's really nowhere else to go for real life experience on tandeming! Heck, there's hardly a soul around here who nurses beyond a few months, so thanks!