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610 Views 7 Replies 8 Participants Last post by  OTMomma
My dd is 2 and lately has been having THE WORST tantrums and meltdowns ever. Yesterday we got home and she asked for a pb sandwich. I made her one and gave it to her. She got mad. I don't know why. She started yelling "NO! NO! NO! Plate! Plate!" so I put the sandwich on a plate. Nope, that didn't work. I gave her the plate. Bad idea. She threw it to the ground. All she did was stand there crying and screaming. Letting her cry and trying to comfort her didn't work. Leaving her alone (but watching from around the corner) didn't work. Trying to talk to her calmly didn't work. I just don't know what to do when she starts. I know sometimes toddlers need to get it out of their system, but she went on and on and on for about 15 minutes. I thought I was going to lose my mind! Also, she's very verbal so I don't think it was because she had difficutly communicating her needs to me. I'm stumped and I hate hearing her cry and scream like that.

Any suggestions?
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my 2 yr old daughter does the same thing. It drives me crazy, especially when its in the middle of the night! In our case it generally results in not letting (or not knowing) that she wanted to do something herself. LIke if I get her a fork out of the drawer and she wanted to do it herself, I have to put the fork back for her to get. So I'm learning to prevent the meltdowns. When they do occur I find any distraction great. ("look at that bird") or "let's call Daddy at work". Anyways, I have a boy the same age as your twins..I can't imagine having two! Lots of luck!
Just let her tantrum..........stay with her until she stops and then see if she can verbalize what happend. Even though she is verbal, she still young to find all the words. Do you ever get soooooo mad you can't express yourself you WANT to scream but you don't? Ok, I admit it.....I have

Here is a good article on tears and tantrums............

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can i ask where you had come home from? ds always has some of the worst meltdowns after we get hom from being somewhere...anywhere. errands make him batty, playdates make him impatient, parties make him overtired, etc. for my ds, getting home is where he feels he can let it all out and especailly with his momma! he is just comfortable in the home situation to let his own built up feelings out. also realize that ev en the most verbal child gets to a point sometimes where they cannot say what they mean/need. and most of all, sometimes we all have to have a good cry/scream. if she does not want you to hold her, then don't. just stay close and available and take amoment to breathe and recoup yourself. we are right there with you, and many others too!

She was probably hungry too. I don't remember where I heard this, but it has been great for us "Rx regarding tantrums: treat with food or sleep". I keep that in the front of my mind and 99/100 when a real meltdown is happening it is one of those.

I have also had great success with the "neanderthal approach" that is in The Happiest Toddler On the Block by Dr Harvey Karp. It is basically mirroring thier wants in very simple and emphatic language "You want cookie. YOU WANT COOKIE." Making sure that the child understands that YOU understand thier request/demand before denying them.

Something else I might do with my dd in such a situation is get her involved in the sandwich process. If the sandwich was already made, maybe you could let her help cut it or somethnig. I find that dd is more willing to accept eating things if she was involved in making them (or if they are on my plate
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Here's an idea I got from my mom for occassional usage:

Tell the child "No, no, you're not doing it right. You have to lay down on the ground and fail your arms about like this" and begin imitating a full-fledged tantrum." My children have been so astounded when I did this, they stopped their tantrums. Plus it's kind of fun.

Sigh. But I feel your pain. My 4 1/2 year old still gets upset at the most unpredictable things.

Originally Posted by nicholas_mom

Here is a good article on tears and tantrums............

Nicholas_Mom - thanks for posting that article...have you ever read any of her books? How were they?
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My dd has just started the tantrum thing. Thanks for the thread! I was here looking for ideas myself. I agree about the hunger thing- but I'm also super cranky when I'm hungry. My dd had one of those 15 minute screaming, on the floor beating everything fits the other night, I was just going to let her go, but dh couldn't stand it. He finally went over and turned on her favorite video. She stopped like magic (the tantrum was not for a video, btw, it was totally random). While she watched it I managed to get her to eat a nice snack, and she returned to normal. We try to reserve the videos for "special" times, like when Mommy and Daddy are about to loose our minds.
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