[bradleyheathhays]

The memory is a bit hazy as to the exact source, but a few years back I saw a video where a developmental professional was giving advice on how to stop young child from screaming, say demands during a tantrum. The idea was that the next time your child has a fit, look at them and hold your hand to your ear like you're trying to hear someone far away and say 'I can't hear you. You have to speak softer so I can hear.' Although it sounds so counterintuitive, I remember, at least, the source was very experienced with degree credentials.

Would any of you with children of this age want to give this one a whirl and see if your child responds to it? Sounds crazy enough to work, huh? Thanks for reporting back your results.

 

[McCMurray]

The memory is a bit hazy as to the exact source, but a few years back I saw a video where a developmental professional was giving advice on how to stop young child from screaming, say demands during a tantrum. The idea was that the next time your child has a fit, look at them and hold your hand to your ear like you're trying to hear someone far away and say 'I can't hear you. You have to speak softer so I can hear.' Although it sounds so counterintuitive, I remember, at least, the source was very experienced with degree credentials.

Would any of you with children of this age want to give this one a whirl and see if your child responds to it? Sounds crazy enough to work, huh? Thanks for reporting back your results.

If your child is having a tantrum, you really should figure out the cause. Is the child hungry, tired, not getting his way? You need to listen - Your child will tell you if you are really trying to understand. And then you need to be a caring person and respond maturely with love.

 

[Ron_Low]

The question is how to meet their needs.

We never control the behavior of another person. We can only choose how we respond. When a child is tired, hungry, or in pain we don't expect rational behavior.

Sometimes we get blinded by sunk costs. The kid is signed up for dance class and today is the final session. That's not a sufficient reason to ignore the child's needs. The child just might need to experience the consequence of missing that class instead of experiencing a parent melting down because we can't figure out how to make the kid robotically do as we wish.

An example not of a sunk cost but as a chance to avoid waste would be if we're in the checkout line with a basket that took over 30 minutes to assemble. Some parents would be so mortified if the child chose this moment to tantrum that they'd abandon the cart and leave. Others might think they're best meeting the kid's needs by not placing a basket of mere things above comforting their child. But the child is losing it regardless of our response. Letting the kid noisily do the curly shuffle on the floor of the store - as long as we're close by and seeing to their safety - is not the worst thing that will ever happen to them. But increasing the odds that we'll avoid the tantrum in the checkout line starts earlier, in recognizing the kid's time until the next nap, and keeping the kid engaged in conversation and involved in the shopping experience, like when you take an item from the shelf but choose not to buy it, let the child figure out where it goes back on the shelf.