Mothering Forum banner
1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
121 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello,

My best friend, an addict, who was nearly drug free for many years, recently found a new drug of choice -- meth. I know, it's very scary.

I just talked to her and she is on her way to a meeting (thankfully!) and is considering in-patient treatment to begin her recovery.

She is married and has three kids (18, 12, 8). She knows the kids "know" something is going on with Mommy, but the issue has not been discussed at all and, with her habits and the way she uses, she has somehow managed to keep it enough of a secret that they have not asked or attempted to validate their concerns, fears or curiosity.

She just asked me what I thought about what she should tell the kids, how much she should tell and anything else in that vein. I told her, above all, to not lie to them (i.e. being someplace else when she might be in a treatment center), but that I would see what else I could find out. I tried the two therapists in my life (who work with kids and teens) and they are on vacation.

So, will you please offer your insight on this one issue -- how and what to tell the kids about the addiction, the treatment and the recovery. I'd like to be able to forward the thread to her sooner than later.

Thanks so much,
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,568 Posts
I agree with your thought that she should not lie to the kids. I imagine her children already have a good idea what is going on although they may not know the details. I think she should explain to all three together that she is going for treatment for an addiction with some discussion about what addiction is and how it's something she has dealt with in the past... She should be open to answering questions as well. I think after the initial discussion, the older kids might have more questions for her that the 8 year old won't understand.

Good luck to your friend.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
212 Posts
I have a family member who is going through the same thing. Although, the children's father has the addiction. When I asked whether or not she was telling/hiding it from them she had quite a brilliant response.

Since drug addiction is a disease and in many cases it is passed down through the generations she wanted to be up front about it. She wants her children to know so that they see it as a disease and know they might be more susceptible to it than others. It always seems that drug addicts find out about their own parents addictions once they are knee deep into addiction themselves.

Also, since the children are older, they could benefit from organizations that exist soley for the friend or relative of a person who has the addiction.

Sounds like she has a good friend...
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
Top