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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
It seems to be kicking in with ds, who is 7 mo now. I generally work from home or take him with me to work, except for 2-3 times a week when he stays with my dad or a student while I'm in a class or study group. So far, they've been keeping him at my office, which has been great because I'm right there if he needs me, easy to nurse, etc. But with this new development, I'm wondering if it's worse if he hears my voice or sees me. He likes his caregivers and does best when they take him outside for a walk or to play on a blanket outside, because he gets distracted and forgets to be upset. But weather doesn't always permit that, of course.

Anyway, just curious about what your experiences with separation anxiety have been. Did you begin to limit how often you left your dc? Help them cope in some way?
 

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I went back into the office when DS was 7 months old and DH became the SAHD. It took a few months as I recall from DS to be okay with me leaving in the morning for work. He also got upset during the day and want me. He is now 2-1/2 and although the partings are fine now, he periodically continues to get upset and ask for me. It is usually tied to being tired and wanting me to nurse. So separation anxiety has continued to varying levels but frankly was never too bad in our case. Although he didn't do well being left with anyone except for DH or his grandmother who he got to know. We simply couldn't leave him with anyone else, hence precluded ocassional sitters. Here is what I found to be helpful to keep DS's anxiety levels low:

At home, I never ducked out of rooms. Even when DS was 7mos, I told him where I was going, how long, what I was doing and then returned and said I am back! When he wanted to come along, I took him and when he seemed "clingy" I went with it and gave him all the time and holding/wearing he needed. When I was leaving him with his grandmother, I would tell him the day before, that morning and explained how long I would be gone, etc.

For us, it wasn't good for DS to hear my voice at that age. It reminded him of me, that I wasn't there, and he would melt down. It wasn't until he was nearly 18 months before a phone call from me would comfort him if he missed me.

It is hard but it does all pass and of course is normal. I think it really helps to work to assure the child and have them get used to the person who will be with them and to be positive and "happy" that the person is there so the child sees the person is okay. Of course, even with all that, the child may naturally go through bouts of anxiety.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yes, I'm really finding this is true about the voice. I work at home or take ds with me to the office. Twice a week I have meetings and either a sitter or my dad takes care of him. They have been keeping him at the office, where I am in the next room and can nurse, check on him, etc. But now this seems to be making it worse, as he can hear me and wants to be with me.

Today my dad kept him at home (just a mile from the office) and he was still upset for a short time, but was able to watch our animals, play with his toys, etc. That may be the better choice for now.
 

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My dd had it when I first went back to work when she was 3 mos., and it lasted a while. Usually with new experiences it resurfaces. When she first went to day care after my aunt watched her for two years, and then when I went from an in-home day care to a center. Now that she is in Kindergarten, it doesn't happen too often.
 
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