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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Yes me again. Sorry. I'm full of questions today.

DH is dragging his feet (ok, being pulled kicking and screaming by the hair) about my "healthy" kick. He assures me that he's eaten margerine and wonderbread for 40 years and he's perfectly fine. (Um yeah-allergies, occasional ed issues, chronic sinus problems, yup! 100%.) I'm doing it anyway, because as his wife, it's my job to feed him healthy food, even if it is against his wishes
: and he doesn't want to cook, so he's stuck with what I make. (So there!
) (His daughter was allergic to dairy so they fed soy
and can't see the link between that and a) early period b) ADHD c) other learning issues d)

That being said-how do I make this transition a little easier? I wont buy margerine, and I won't buy veggie oil of any kind-I use coconut oil or butter (occasionally EVOO) for cooking, and I quit buying 2% milk and buy whole(raw is not a option for us at this point due to $ and the only source is a good 2 hour drive one way), but he won't take clo, won't eat anything sour (yogurt, sourdough, etc) and only likes wonderbread. I don't buy anything with soy in it (except wonderbread, but I wno't eat that crap) or msg/aspertame.

Help! I feel like I'm
and ready to give up-almost. (Good thing stubborness is a family trait...). Any success stories or helpful hints would be gladly taken!

thanks in advance-
Laurel
 

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If your DH is so resistant, I wouldn't switch everything all at once. I weaned my DH off crappy food very slowly and sort of sneakily. I first replaced all the stuff that didn't a make a huge difference in taste or tasted better like replacing our morton's with good natural salt and fake maple syrup with real maple syrup. Thankfully, my DH already preferred real butter to margarine.

I didn't cut out cakes altogether, just tried to devise a healthier version. I first went from all purpose flour to unbleached flour, to whole wheat pastry and/or white wheat flours. I didn't do a full replacement, instead I replaced out in 20% proportions at a time and if DH didn't notice, I would move forward. I only told DH that his food contained healthy stuff after he ate it and liked it and didn't notice anything. Same thing with sugar -- plain white sugar to organic and raw sugars to rapadura to unfiltered honey, agave, maple syrup, and other nutritive sweeteners.

For any given recipe, don't replace out more than 20% of any one ingredient, and tackle one ingredient at a time. Moving DH to whole foods took me a long time in the beginning. It probably took us about 6 months to get to only using natural whole sweeteners and I tackled only that in that timeframe.

Try finding a white bread with less preservatives that DH will accept. Maybe only use it at first in things that he may not notice, like grilled cheese sandwiches or french toast. Then slowly switch brand by brand to something more natural. It may seem to take forever, but you'll make progress, I promise.
 

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It can be a long, gradual process. And the thing is, this type of food tastes better. So he doesn't like sourdough. Could you get him to try one of those artisan white breads that are out? I would work on the Wonderbread angle and just try some things to see if he reacts favorably. I wouldn't talk anymore to him about the strategy, just work on changing ingredients.
 

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Gradually! Be patient. It takes time for the taste buds and brain to change, but it happens. Concentrate on changing just one or two things at a time, and acknowledge that food and taste are entwined with our emotions so people can be very resistant to sudden change.
 

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I did it very slowly after reading N&PD. I started with raw milk and making raw yoghurt/kefir. I did more as I read NT, but things like buying pastured meat and eggs came first. I've still never made bread, but buy French Meadows SD or Alvarado ST. Bakery sprouted at the HF store. Honestly we do lots of fruits and veggies with raw fermented dairy and raw pastured cheese. CLO/BO and pastured meat and eggs every other day. Oh, the crispy nuts are easy as is the bone broth. We don't do any package foods other than the bread and no sweets other than fruit or raw honey/pollen. That is all I do, but it keeps us eating traditional foods. I have to keep it low maintenance as I don't want to live my life in the kitchen - gotta be outside as much as possible!
 

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I have to totally agree with above posters. It takes awhile to retrain the tastebuds away from the standard mainstream stuff that many people grew up with.

We've come a long way. We started by switching to 100% whole wheat bread, more fresh fruits and veggies, and less milk. I stopped buying margarine and vegetable oils, and only bought butter and EVOO.

Then I began to buy sprouted grain breads, made my own jams, applesauce, and whole wheat bread in the machine.

Now, after lots of experimenting, I make our sourdough, butter, ice cream, jam, applesauce, yogurt, etc. It's taken us at least 6 or 7 years to get to this point, but now my Dh prefers to eat this way. He will eat conventional stuff, but he realizes how much better what I make tastes, and prefers it.

So, go slowly, don't do it all at once, and don't give up. It isn't worth sacrificing your marriage! Just work on one or two areas at a time, and it will eventually get to where you'd like to be.
 

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I am another advocate for the slow retraining of tastebuds and eating habits. My DH and I have been together for 7 years, and have been married for 4, and he is just now coming to the realization that he no longer remotely likes the crud he used to eat.

For instace, I was going out of town last week. I picked up a couple packages ofTop Ramen at his request. (I normally do not buy it).
When I got home, he said, "That Top Ramen doesn't taste good AT ALL!!!" I was like, "Um, yep. been saying that for years."
 

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I am suprised that people are resistant to switch to NT foods over taste! I was a super low-fat vegan (95% of my diet was raw/cooked veggies,soy/ricemilks, and fruit) and I cried from joy the more I read about traditional foods being good for you!!!! (Stop laughing at me!
)

All those years from abstaining from dairy products over fear of disease and now I am encouraged that they are good for me (I am Dutch, after all)!!! And I can have them full fat now too! I love produce, but this make eating and cooking way more satisfying. Dh was happy not to have a salad waiting for him at every meal too! I think the trasition was easier since we had been eating almost no junk food for quite a while too.

I do echo the advice of transistioning slowly--for your own sake too as the head chef. There were so many new skills to learn and new foods to try out.

Our first switch (about 3 months ago) was with the big thigs--eating animal products again (mostly yogurt, raw milk, omega eggs, roasted whole chickens, CLO and beef). I made a bone broth last week and kefir this week. I got my son off soy and onto whole goat milk immediately. I am a person who likes to get totally into what I am doing so I have to remind myself that I don't have to learn every skill this week. I think it will need to get a little cooler outside before I try to bake sourdough.

Laurel-There will come a day where your dh will refuse to eat the stuff he likes now. Once he gets accustomed to real foods that make him feel well that Wonderbread will digust him!!

Happy cooking,
Jennifer
 

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my DH and I are on the same page.

but, the advice that i normally give people is to make what you make. And if that person doesn't like it, he's a grown man and he can make what he wants on his own.

most will eventually just eat what you give them.

it's the same advice as with toddlers. your husband is behaving like a picky-eating 3 yr old (this is really about power and control), and so you treat him like one (you're buying--that's a long errand, grocery shopping--and you're cooking/prepping--which is also a good deal of work). he'll eat wht you make or make his own.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by newcastlemama
I cried from joy the more I read about traditional foods being good for you!!!! (Stop laughing at me!
)
I reacted the same way! When I first encountered these ideas, I'd been veggie and no dairy for about a year, after quite a few years of dietary tinkering trying to find something that felt right and worked for me and my family. When I read NT, I thought "This feels so RIGHT!" I'm not in lock-step with everything SF says (in particular I take exception with how some of the BFing/baby feeding issues come across), but taken as a whole, it was like I'd finally found home. The first time I tasted raw milk (that I remember, I may have had it as a very young child), I also cried tears of joy. I thought I'd died and gone to Heaven.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by tinuviel_k
I am another advocate for the slow retraining of tastebuds and eating habits. My DH and I have been together for 7 years, and have been married for 4, and he is just now coming to the realization that he no longer remotely likes the crud he used to eat.

For instace, I was going out of town last week. I picked up a couple packages ofTop Ramen at his request. (I normally do not buy it).
When I got home, he said, "That Top Ramen doesn't taste good AT ALL!!!" I was like, "Um, yep. been saying that for years."

Thank you. This is very encouraging to hear. DH just left yesterday for six weeks. I'm hoping that he will miss our nutrient dense food instead of loving Sonic crap he will be eating. This will take time.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by newcastlemama
I am suprised that people are resistant to switch to NT foods over taste! I was a super low-fat vegan (95% of my diet was raw/cooked veggies,soy/ricemilks, and fruit) and I cried from joy the more I read about traditional foods being good for you!!!! (Stop laughing at me!
)

All those years from abstaining from dairy products over fear of disease and now I am encouraged that they are good for me (I am Dutch, after all)!!! And I can have them full fat now too! I love produce, but this make eating and cooking way more satisfying. Dh was happy not to have a salad waiting for him at every meal too! I think the trasition was easier since we had been eating almost no junk food for quite a while too.

I do echo the advice of transistioning slowly--for your own sake too as the head chef. There were so many new skills to learn and new foods to try out.

Our first switch (about 3 months ago) was with the big thigs--eating animal products again (mostly yogurt, raw milk, omega eggs, roasted whole chickens, CLO and beef). I made a bone broth last week and kefir this week. I got my son off soy and onto whole goat milk immediately. I am a person who likes to get totally into what I am doing so I have to remind myself that I don't have to learn every skill this week. I think it will need to get a little cooler outside before I try to bake sourdough.

Laurel-There will come a day where your dh will refuse to eat the stuff he likes now. Once he gets accustomed to real foods that make him feel well that Wonderbread will digust him!!

Happy cooking,
Jennifer

Jennifer,
I grew up eating raw dairy, grass-fed meats, veggies straight from the garden, homemade everything because my parents were too poor to buy anything processed. So for me, it hasn't been a difficult change. The hardest thing was going back to eating meat and including dairy again after 8 years of vegetarianism.

For my Dh, however, it has been much harder. He loves his processed foods so much more than I do. He grew up on them. It is his comfort food, iykwim. He also has had low-fat-no-fat drilled into his head for so long that it is really hard for him to let loose and enjoy the raw butter that I use on everything. Enjoying (healthy) fats has been hard; he feels almost guilty about eating something with butter or coconut oil, because "they're bad for you, don't you know".

We've been married long enough for him to just eat what I make without complaining, if only to set a good example for the Dc. He eats things, but may ask me to remind him of why it's good. Or, if he's really not liking it, he'll say something to me in private, after the meal. He knows that I can't stand complaining, and that cooking is a lot of work. He is just very appreciative of my efforts to prepare nutritious food for our family.

And, sometimes, I think that's what it has to come down to, does your Dh support your efforts? Does he respect you enough to not criticize you? Does he trust you enough to do the food work for your family? If not, then maybe he needs to be the one getting involved in researching what goes into your mouths and bodies. If he has to do the work, chances are, he'll just want to leave it in your court.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by gardenmommy
Now, after lots of experimenting, I make our sourdough, butter, ice cream, jam, applesauce, yogurt, etc. It's taken us at least 6 or 7 years to get to this point, but now my Dh prefers to eat this way. He will eat conventional stuff, but he realizes how much better what I make tastes, and prefers it.
Ok, that makes me feel better that other people had the same "battle".

Better to go slow and steady, I guess, right?

Thanks all for the help!
 

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Oh yes SLOWLY...gets them better than quick.

I am all or nothing...black and white kind of person so I switch easily.

BUT my DH after 4 years STILL makes his late night Taco Bell runs and HAS to drink his Dr. Pepper. He DOES say he feels better when he eats MY WAY...lol....but doesn't keep him from straying. I won't buy the junk BUT if we REALLY wants some junk....than he can drive and get it.

I DO like to give a link SMIRK when he spends a little too long in the bathroom later or gets the sniffles and headaches the next day.
 
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