Mothering Forum banner

1 - 20 of 24 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,832 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Im very conflicted on what to do this coming school year.<br>
We have been homeschooling, and it is going well....for the most part. If I were to be totally honest I would have to say that I dont really enjoy homeschooling. I get tired of keeping track of everything, of bearing the burden of educating 3 children, of arranging all social outings and getting there. By the time our day is over I dont have it in me to read bedtime stories, or do any fun reading at any point.<br><br>
PArt of me feels that it is time to close this chapter of our lives, and move on to the next one, but it is SO hard to let go. I have thought of perhaps using a virtual academy...but that might just be a whole nother headache.<br><br>
Im also planning on returning back to school myself (finally!!!) this fall.<br><br>
My kids are smart and thriving here.....but I dont think I am. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent"><br><br>
There are so many unknowns with them going to PS....and Im worried about how they will adjust, and how they will do. My oldest is a bit behind, with reading...and he is often mistaken for being 3 or 4 yrs older than he is because he is SO tall...and I worry about him being teased or that he will feel dumb. Right now he is just matter of fact about it, and completely lacks self conciousness, which I love. My 6yo is working close to a 3rd grade level, and works well independently, but has a low tolerance level for frustration...and is very active.<br><br>
Any input? My only solution is to hire an Au Pair ....but I dont think dh was too keen on that. I cant really fit him into all this because he has a weird schedule and often works 60-80 hrs a week.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
16,212 Posts
Everything will work out!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy">:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,396 Posts
Would the Au pair be expected to homeschool? or just watch the children after PS when you are in school?<br>
I'm not sure what you meant.<br>
I felt so guilty for not homeschooling, my guys are in PS, and thriving. They love it (one has graduated already) Teaching them doesn't end there, we had to do a lot of teaching at home with math for my oldest, he struggled and needed extra help. also there always homework to be done. I feel very connected to their education, I helped out in class once a week and did the reading groups and checked homework etc.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
897 Posts
It will be okay!<br><br>
I was very nervous about having my kids in public school and we've had nothing but good experiences. The very few times they had problems with other kids the school dealt with it very well and it stopped.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
17,022 Posts
Can you afford to hire a mother's helper or a nanny? I have both a mother's helper and cleaning help (and we're not well to do, just careful budgeters). We are coming up on our fourth year homeschooling, and those things are sanity savers for me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,208 Posts
It will be just fine. The adjustment might be bumpy because change isn't easy for anyone, but it will all turn out great.<br><br>
I'm not cut out to The Mom all day, every day, either. That's OK. You deserve to have your needs met just as your children do!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
417 Posts
I think it's more important for everyone to be happy. If your not happy your kids are going to feel the resentment.<br>
If they want to go to school and you don't want to homeschool the whole family will be better off.<br>
Have you considered looking at unschooling? You may not feel the pressure of *having* to schedule events (unless your kids wanted to go) and provide all the cirric. stuff. Just a thought.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,467 Posts
In my heart I feel homeschooling is best.. However Homeschooling is not best for us. I wrestled with this I wanted sooo much for HS to fit us but right now at least it doesn't there are many factors why but just trust me its just not going to be the best right now. We selected after careful research a local Charter small classes great records. I love how since our first visit EVERYONE from the secertary to the teachers and even general staff has remembered my DD by name. Little things are important. I know she will thrive and yes it will be okay.<br><br>
D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
334 Posts
It sounds like you do need a break. Adding school for you will be too much. Part of being a fabulous mom is doing the best for the <i>family</i>. And you are part of it! And unhappy exhausted mom is not what they need.<br><br>
I say try public school. You may be surprised! I considered homeschooling for about 10 seconds (my older would never tolerate it for several reasons--strong-willed, stubborn, very shy, etc etc), and found a perfect public charter where both my kids are doing great and fits into our family philosophy as well as anything I could have found. Looping teachers=greatest thing ever.<br><br>
We know lots of kids at several public schools. Some have switched schools and are now happy, others haven't switched because they have been so pleasantly surprised.<br><br>
It will work out. Don't worry so much. Investigate your choices, be proactive. Maybe find a playgroup over the summer if your kids don't already know the kids there? And you the moms?<br><br>
And remember--don't expect perfection. It won't be perfect. Someone or something will drive you crazy wherever you go (public or private or whatever). It may be the dropoff schedule or a lazy or nosy room mom, but don't expect perfection. (For example, I am so happy to have found a school without a cafeteria, so everyone has to bring a decent lunch, but they are obsessed with wool--not for lunch, for crafting--which I am allergic to.)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
140 Posts
Things will be OK. Homeschooling is not for everyone, your kids will find their way in school -- and, most importantly, you will be there at the end of the day -- saner, more balanced, more YOU -- to parent them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
225 Posts
things will be fine. Public school isn't as evil as some may think it is. It may even be better because you will be less stressed out <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Don't worry...You'll all be great!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,832 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Thanks, Im still flip flopping back and forth. My main concern is what is best for the kids. But, it cant be good long term when at the end of the day I feel on the verge of having a panic attack, and I dread the next day...that should signal to me that we need a change.<br><br>
I said the bit about the au pair, because then I can homeschool, and have someone to be with the kids so I can get out...go to the gym (Ive gained weight and gotten out of shape) and go to school myself. My husband is gone from 7am till 10 pm during the week and some saturdays from 7am till 5pm. Im also trying to keep up the house, and our property which is nearly 3 acres on my own.<br><br>
We live in a really good school district, and the elementary school they would go to is just 4 minutes down my road.<br><br>
I could always just give it a go for a year right? and if it doesnt work, then we all had a break and I can homeschool again....<br><br>
One of my biggest worries is that my oldest will be really far behind, and wind up feeling stupid...he is 7 and just started reading a few months ago...but he is progressing really well. I also wonder if there may be an underlying LD lurking there....which I would think would be found out in school?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
799 Posts
Yes- you can send them for the year and then evaluate. Things change for each family so it is good to be flexible. About your son and his reading- I teach 8-9 year olds and we tend to start really worrying about an LD at about 9-10 years old. Up to that point kids are just developmentally different and some take a little longer to catch on but when they do they take off. If they are still struggling going into grade 4 then that usually indicates a problem. I usually could figure out if a student had learning difficulties at the beginning of the year but I have also had students who improved by leaps and bounds since they were ready to learn.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,423 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>RadUnschooler</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11592753"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think it's more important for everyone to be happy. If your not happy your kids are going to feel the resentment.<br>
If they want to go to school and you don't want to homeschool the whole family will be better off.<br><b>Have you considered looking at unschooling? You may not feel the pressure of *having* to schedule events (unless your kids wanted to go) and provide all the cirric. stuff. Just a thought.</b></div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I agree with this whole post, especially the part I bolded. You might drop by the Unschooling forum to get an idea of what it might be like simply helping your kids pursue their interests, rather than bearing the burden of educating them and keeping track of everything. Kids are quite eager to bear the burden of their own educations when they're free to seek the educations they want.<br><br>
By the way, how do your kids feel about the possibility of public school?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,208 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Alana</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11602513"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I could always just give it a go for a year right? and if it doesnt work, then we all had a break and I can homeschool again....</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Yes. In fact, you can just do it for the fall and evaluate at the winter holiday. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,673 Posts
First of all, if hsing was automatically that hard, I wouldn't do it either. I got tired just reading it. It sounds like you're feeling a lot of pressure to homeschool a certain way, and basically you're trying to squeeze yourself into someone else's box. Which is about the most stressful thing anyone can do. Taking a bubble bath while sipping wine could be stressful, if it wasn't your thing! I wouldn't throw the baby out with the bathwater - check into different homeschooling options. Start with unschooling! John Holt's <i>Learning All the Time</i> is short and quick to read, and a good place to start.<br><br>
Second: if your ideal scenario is to continue homeschooling, and also have some time to yourself each day - by all means make that happen. You can have both! Hire a mother's helper, whatever it takes.<br><br>
Third: if public school is what you and your kids want, and you feel excited at the thought but stomp that down with guilt because you're "supposed to" homeschool... throw out the guilt and follow the joy. Your kids will be fine. It will work out! A book you might like if this is what you go with is <i>Coloring Outside the Lines</i> (I believe the author is Schank) about raising creative, independent-thinking children in a public school setting.<br><br>
And whatever choice you make, you can reevaluate and change your mind at any point. If you keep hsing, you can put them in school anytime (I promise: the BOE won't mind! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">) If you put them in school, you can pull them back out if it's not working for you/your kids.<br><br>
Basically: find YOUR box, and you won't have to squeeze yourself into it, because it will fit perfectly and comfortably. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,743 Posts
I have homeschooled all along as well and this year my kids are going to school. I am just finally being honest with myself - I'm not cut out for homeschooling. I don't enjoy being with my kids all day every day and being the only one responsible for their education. I love them to death but I need a break from them. They will be going to private Christian school and I am counting down the days until school starts! School is not evil, it is just another option. You're the only one raising your family, do what works best for you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
503 Posts
Alana, so glad you posted this thread. I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you, my kids are younger. I really wanted to homeschool my kids but I am beginning to realize that I probably don't have the patience for it with my oldest child. Both my kids were at camp three mornings last week and I LOVED IT! It was such a great schedule for me. That sounds selfish to say, but I was really a much more patient mama those three days after having three hours each day totally to myself. I guess in the long run it is better for them to have a calmer, patient, happy mom than a stressed one. But I feel sad about sending them to public school.<br>
It's a tough situation, I wish you the best as you make your decision.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,517 Posts
Think of the three people you admire most that you know.<br><br>
Do you think what's great about them is tied to exactly how they were schooled?<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
1 - 20 of 24 Posts
Top