Mothering Forum banner

1 - 14 of 14 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,283 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So next week is our 12 wk appointment and I've just ordered books for my 2 year old for when I tell him next weekend. I attached pics of what I ordered, anyone have these? Anyone have better suggestions? I was hoping for more scientific approaches. I hate the assumption that toddlers are too stupid to get this. My mother and I watched birth videos together when i was 2 1/2. I might do that too closer to the birth.
 

Attachments

  • Like
Reactions: farmerheather

·
Registered
Joined
·
141 Posts
I love that you started this thread! I'm excited to tell my 3 year old stepson, but we'll probably wait a while b/c I'm only 9 weeks along. It might be a bit confusing for him as well, given that his mom still breastfeeds him. The last time we brought up a possible sibling he got really angry at the idea of having to share his milk and couldn't be convinced that he wouldn't have to. He actually stayed upset for a while at the thought.

I'm sure some kids would be fine with birth videos, but not mine. He's an extra fearful kid and doesn't even like tense scenes in his very mild cartoons--so we're careful what we show him.

The only book we have so far on new siblings is "The Berenstain Bears and the New Baby", which we've had forever anyway. I'll probably get some more advanced ones later on. @typebug, if you get any, let us know what you think of them!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17 Posts
I'm excited to reveal to our five that number six is on the way. Still too soon though. Reaching nine weeks tomorrow.
In my experience, little kids can get super excited about a new sibling without knowing every single detail of the process if it doesn't seem appropriate for the individual child. They are each so distinctive. You can say, you're going to have a new baby to cuddle and hold and help mommy and daddy with, and for many, that's MORE than enough info to process, especially for a teeny tiny little two or three year old, who is still processes sing mine, yours, share, etc. I think those books are super cute too!! One of my five year old twins loves watching animals give birth on utube, but none of the rest do. It's so individual.

My mom gave me the best tip about introducing new babies to siblings. She said that when a sibling or family of new siblings comes to the hospital, put the baby in its bassinet when they arrive. Greet each child warming withought directing any attention to the baby at al. Hold your older kids in your lap instead,, hug each one and really connect. They will look around and find the baby, knowing they were there to meet one. Say to them. "Do you want to meet YOUR new baby?" Do you want to hold YOUR baby? Do you like your baby? Is your baby so soft and warm? I think so too........ Look, your baby looks like you Etc.

that way the older sibling feels like the baby is for them too, and doesn't feel immediately displaced when they walk in to see momma holding someone new. The displacement eventually happens and can be hard, even for the best adjusted child, so having them think about the baby as their sibling, their friend, their baby, is a great way to start. No competition. They are clearly the helper, a caretaker, etc. it's nice then to give the older child a little present.

This time, I turn 35 a month before Indeliver, so I qualify for the maternit21 test. so at 13 weeks when we have our results back, we will know gender. I think we will do a classic cake reveal, surprising the kids one night with a baby on top of it, saying our family is getting a sweet New baby to share and care for around cbphristmas. then we can cut it open to show them if their new sibling will be a girl or boy. I hate waiting for that, and I am happy to announce both bits, the new baby, and the gender at the same time so there won't be weeks of guessing.

You know what I think is fun, I think it's fun to get out the older child's baby things and show them how tiny they were before you tell them a new baby is coming. Then they are thinking a out how small babies are anyway, it's a great time to weave in how helpless new babies are and how many things the older child has already learned to do, kids love to celebrate their mastery. Showing how treasured and adorable a two year old was at birth makes them feel so so special.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,283 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
@Mirja123 Thank you! Great wisdom here. I love the sibling introduction idea.

I also love your idea of pulling out my son's smallest onesies and showing him how little he was.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
36 Posts
Oh! Glad to see you already started this!

I'm still looking for good books, but we've already told our 2 year old (2 in a few days), pretty much since the positive test. We obviously haven't gone into much detail, but he loves babies and so we've said mama has a baby growing inside, and the baby is going to be born at christmas.

I'm a doula (or was before I had him) and homebirth mama, so we've already watched birth videos before or seen graphic birth photos. He's into it, and it's super natural and normal to me and that's how I want it to be for him and all our kiddos too. I think as we get closer to the birth, we'll watch more in detail and talk more specifically about how that is going to happen in our house, and that is how mama is going to get the baby out, etc, so he connects with it in a more real way.

So far, we've just had the brief mentions of the baby, and he points to my belly sometimes and says "baby" or gives the baby a kiss (!) - sometimes the baby is in his belly too :)

I'm also putting together an album for him (for like the last year.... :p) of his pregnancy/birth... It has letters I wrote to him when I was pregnant, pictures of my belly/pregnancy, pictures of his birth and his birth story. Once I'm done, I think that will be a really great tool, where he can see the process and see himself as a baby and me giving birth to him in pictures.

But I'm still looking for some good picture books too!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,283 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I was hoping for an illustrated kid's version of the baby growing in belly images through each month of pregnancy. I had one when I was young. I wonder if my mom has it still.

The first of the three books I ordered arrived but it's not great. I'll review them and post about it here.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RoseNoire

·
Registered
Joined
·
790 Posts
DD is 3, will be one month shy of 4 when this little blessing arrives, so she's a little older than some of the sibs on this thread. We told her right after we found out, at 4 weeks, because we would be talking about it in front of her and she wants to be involved in everything. I show her pictures of what the baby should look like at X number of weeks and tell her how the baby has grown. I think she's already quite attached because not a day goes by that she doesn't talk about the baby. We've also been big on telling her that this is her baby too and she has to help take care of it and teach it things. She's kinda baby crazy now. When we go to the park she hangs around the babies, talking to them, teaching them what things are. We went out to dinner the other night and wanted to pick up and hold another couple's baby! One of the biggest pieces of advice that a friend told me is to get a newborn size doll shortly before your due date and get the older sib used to "helping" with the baby.

I'm not sure how to handle the actual birth. We will have a home birth again, and I'm really not sure if she should be around to see. I know seeing me in that much pain was tough on my husband and he's a grown man! My daughter has never even seen me cry, should we send her to Grandma's?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,283 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Yeah... That's a tough one. I was at my brother's birth but my mom was like a zen master in labour. I'm a little more ah.... Expressive. :) i think I might send my little man off to a sleepover.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
75 Posts
@typebug , I had a book like that too. It was pink with purple on the spine, and had actual in the womb pictures of babies so I could "see" what a baby would look like during the pregnancy. I thought it was awesome and looked through it all the time.

UPDATE: I found one! It's A Child Is Born by Lennart Nilsson :) The pictures look like the ones I remember
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
141 Posts
[MENTION=201979]
UPDATE: I found one! It's A Child Is Born by Lennart Nilsson :) The pictures look like the ones I remember
My mom had that book! I LOVED looking at it when I was little. It has a few more graphic photos but you could easily skip over those if you wanted. Or not, depending on where your child is at.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,283 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
@RoseNoire awesome! I've been just looking up sites with the usual side profile cut away pictures online and showing him how big "his baby" is and where baby is inside mommy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
75 Posts
@typebug , I LOVE looking at those ones! I wanna know where my uterus is, how big it is, and how big my baby is in comparison because imagining a lemon floating somewhere in my body just doesn't do it for me haha
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,283 Posts
Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Here are a few inside spreads from two of the books I ordered. Waiting for Baby is appropriate for a 2 year old. It's a board book with some typical little kid questions on each page but it just leaves everything really open to parents to narrate.

The second book, A New Baby is Coming! is probably for 4+ There's quite a bit of text and it's a self-help book. It's cute but WAY beyond where my 2 year old it at.
 

Attachments

1 - 14 of 14 Posts
Top